Enter Ponyville
by Exanora
Summary: Just a log of what would happen if I were to suddenly and inexplicably appear in Equestria. The idea sorta started as a joke, but I've found it strangely easy to work on. Opinions and reviews be appreciated and will be noted and applied.
1. Arrival

I opened my eyes, expecting to see my room the various familiar sights I was accustomed to upon waking. Instead I saw a bright blue sky a felt a slight breeze on my face. I bolted into a sitting position and began to look around frantically. While waking up outside was plausible, though extremely unlikely, it should've been dark since I fell asleep around 3ish.

Other things that went in the "WRONG" column were the colors: everything was really friggin bright and colorful. The landscape looked familiar, but I couldn't place why.  
>"Well shit, I suppose it's a lucid dream..." I muttered to no one in particular. It made the most sense really, so that's what I accepted. I saw a path nearby and followed it, not really expecting anything.<p>

After a while I got tired from walking and thought 'If it's a dream, I should be able to fly, yeah?' So, after a running start, I jumped, expecting to soar through the sky like a superhero!

That is not what happened. What happened instead was I landed on my face, rolled over once, and then fell onto my back. My vision blurred and my nose began to bleed as I lay, dazed and mildly confused.

"Oh-oh my," I heard a soft voice nearby, a familiar voice "A-are you okay?" I looked over to where the voice was coming from and saw a yellow and pink blur with what looked like bags on its sides.

The blur walked closer and my vision cleared to reveal something I could not, in any logical sense, accept.  
>"Oh you poor thing, you're hurt." Fluttershy said, stepping closer to my prone form.<br>I could feel my eyes bulging out of my head as my sense of logic hung itself from my mental rafters.

"No. Friggin. Way." I said, sitting up slowly.  
>"OH! You can talk?" Fluttershy stepped back, startled, then came right up to me slowly.<br>I held a hand up and she stopped a foot short of me. I then held out a finger and poked her forehead, repeatedly.  
>"Eep! P-please stop that!" She squeaked, curling into a frightened ball.<br>"No." I said stubbornly, not willing to accept what was before me.  
>"W-why?"<br>"BECAUSE YOU DEFY SCIENCE." I replied, renewing my prodding endeavors. I continued for a few minutes, still unable to accept the obvious. My prodding was stopped, however, by the sudden appearance of a rope around my upper body. I was pulled onto my back and quickly found a hoof on my chest and a shadow above me.

"Now what the Hay d'you think yer doin' to Fluttershy?" The shadow demanded, pushing its hoof into my chest. Rather, her hoof, as I could easily recognize that voice and accent. The shadow became Applejack, in all her bucking glory, though not looking too pleased, "Ah'll ask again: Whaat," she stretched her words out, as if I was stupid, "did'ya thiiink, yyyyooouuu were dooooiiiin, to mah friend!" She stomped on my chest a bit, as if to make a point.

"Ah wus tryin ta figger out wut the hell ah wus doin IN A FICTIONAL WORLD!" I shouted, wriggling beneath her and making fun of her accent simultaneously, "Now lemme go!"

"Ah don't think so bud," she replied, tossing me up easily, "We're gonna take ya to our friends to see what the hay you are, then what we should do with ya!" I landed neatly on her back with a grunt and more pain in my already battered form. She began walking down the path with little trouble, despite my 200lbs. frame on her back. I sighed, wiggling against my bonds, but to no avail. For not having fingers, she had somehow tied a fantastic knot. I saw Fluttershy following behind us cautiously, though I couldn't blame her, seeing as I had just digitally violated her forehead.

I sighed again and looked towards Fluttershy, "Hey, ummm," I paused, "Sorry about the whole poking thing… It's just," I looked around, "You, her," I pointed at Applejack with my elbow, "All of this, just can't be real." I laughed nervously.

"And why, might I ask, not?" Applejack asked in an insulted tone, "Ah'm sure this feels real." She bucked slightly, causing me to pop upwards, then land heavily on her back again.

"Ugf! OK! OK! I get it, ya don't like me!" I shouted, wincing, "Just stop with the pain!" It was with a morbid satisfaction that I saw I pang of guilt pass over her face.

"Oh you poor dear," said a soft voice from my side, causing my to jump a bit, "Applejack, put it down, it's hurt." Fluttershy asked softly, pulling a roll of bandages from one of her saddlebags. I could help but wonder why the bags had latches, despite the pony species lacking the ability to use them.

"Thanks, and it's him, I'm a guy. More specifically, I'm John," I smiled and nodded, figuring I may as well get along with them, "And thanks for this Fluttershy." I said, nodding in appreciation at the medical aid she was providing.

She smiled, and then her eyes went wide, "H-how did you know my name?" She asked, frightened and backing up. Her mane brushed my nose, causing my eyes to get wide.

"OH SWEET GODDESS YOU SMELL LIKE STRAWBERRIES." I said, filled with fanboyism and squee.

"Alright John, iffin that is yer real name," Applejack said, standing defensively in front of Fluttershy, "What are ya and how d'you know Fluttershy?" Applejack stood ready to charge at me, so I decided to try the stun thing on her too.

"Listen, Applejack" Her eyes went wide as I continued, "You can guess that I'm not from around here. Let's just say that I know a lot about you, your friends, and everything in Equestria." I stood up and cracked my back, "I know all this because, where I am from, we have a sort of…" I struggled for an appropriate term, "Magic, that allowed many of my kind to watch your world. All that aside, I'm assuming Ponyville is farther down the path, and that you were going to introduce me to Twilight, thus causing me to run into Rainbow Dash, who probably crashes through the window. Spike will walk in and complain about the mess. Then Rarity will enter, ask me about my clothes, which are in a terrible state, and Pinkie Pie will defy everything I know about the laws of space and time, blah, blah, blah, I assume I've now shocked you into a state of silence, so I'm going to keep walking. Follow please, because meeting Twilight on my own would not end well, seeing as she has magic and trust issues." I finished my speech by, finally, shrugging off the lasso bound around me and walking down the path. Fluttershy and Applejack just stared at me for a while, a long while, before cautiously following.

It was a quiet walk, a very long, very quiet walk. The familiar sight of the library tree was a welcome one, causing me to crack a smile. Applejack walking beside me, silent, with the brim of her hat hiding her eyes, while Fluttershy stayed behind me.

"…Stranger, Ah gotta say, ya scare me," Applejack spoke softly, "A lot. Ah'm just bringin ya to Twilight because ah'm not as clever as she is." She looked up at me, fire in her eyes, "But if ya try to hurt her in any way, yer gonna hafta deal with me, got that?" She almost snarled, which was impressive in a way.

I smirked, "Applejack, despite first impressions, I rather like the lot of you. I rather like Equestria in general, and all of her residents," I stopped walking, and got onto a knee to look her in the eyes, "I promise you, I will never intentionally bring harm to you, or any of your friends, alright?" I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

She didn't speak for a moment, then nodded, "Alright, ah'll take ya at yer word fer now," She smiled and punched my arm softly, "But any funny business and ah'll be on ya like stink on a hog, got that?" She joked before beginning to walk again.

"Yes ma'am." I replied with a small salute. I straightened up and jogged to catch up with her, excited and a bit nervous at the idea of meeting more ponies. Something I noticed as we got close the tree was that ponies were taller than I had originally thought. I stand at around 6 feet 2 inches, and Applejack was easily 5'9", sans hat.

Needless to say, I was getting a lot of looks as I entered Ponyville, sadly, many of them were looks of fear and suspicion. I wasn't terribly surprised, what with the usual chaos that happened around here, but it still stung a bit. I sighed softly, and looked up at the tree the library was made from, admiring it in all of its grandeur. I still had difficulty accepting all of this, but it sure was nice to look at.

"Hey Applejack wha-" I heard her voice pause as I looked at her, "What is that?" Twilight asked, her eyebrow raised.

"It has a name. I'm John," I said, smiling slightly as her shocked expression, "Yeah, I can talk too, wanna see my other tricks?" I laughed hollowly, "In all seriousness, I think you and I need to talk Twilight, real or not, you may be the only one who can help me out." I smiled, hands in my pockets.

"How do you know my name?" She asked, "Applejack, how does it know my name?" Twilight's eyes were filled with equal measures of curiosity and caution.

Applejack looked at me, I shrugged, then looked back at Twilight, "Sugarcube, we should head inside, this is gonna take a while."

After that, events pretty much rolled out in the way I had described it, word for word. It was eerie in a way, though cool as well. Once everyone had done their intro bit, we all sat down in a circle, the ponies looking at me with curiosity, suspicion, and boredom.

I stood up, cracked my back again, and then looked each of them in the eye before I began, "Well, now that you're all here, I guess I can start. My name is John, and I'm, what is commonly known, as a human. Frankly I think all of this is either a very lucid dream or the result of a brain injury, so I've been having some trouble accepting this as "real." Y'see, where I'm from all of this, all of Equestria, is a story, a fairy tale. Not that this isn't one of the coolest things ever to happen to me, because it is and my inner fanboy is squeeing his little brains out, but this… Just can't be real…" I paused for a moment and scratched the back of my head, "No offense of course." I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, "I guess, provided this has actually happened, there was some sort of inter-dimensional travel, though I can't even begin to fathom the medium for it. Which is why I'm glad Applejack took me to see you Twilight," I gave Applejack a small nod of appreciation, "You're smart, creative, and can do friggin magic, so I was hoping you could help me out. If you can't get me home, then I'm hoping you could at least find out what it is that brought me here. That much would give me a morbid satisfaction." I sat down again and looked at the purple unicorn feeling mixed sensations of hope and worry.

Twilight looked at me for a while, scrutinizing me, probably trying to judge my trustworthiness. After what seemed like an hour, she nodded, "Fine, I'll help you out, but there's gonna be a few conditions, understand?" she asked in an even tone, but the small smile on her face helped me relax.

"Perfectly, so long as they aren't terribly outrageous then I'm all for them." I replied quickly, my voice bright with hope.

"Good," Twilight nodded, "Condition One: Seeing as how we know nothing about you, but you know far too much about us, myself or one of my friends will be with you at all times. Is that ok with you all?" She asked the others. Everyone replied with general consent, "Great, with Spike we have seven, so one of us will be in charge of you for each day of the week. Condition Two: I'm going to have to study you, and that will probably get pretty personal, so try your best to cooperate, ok?" She asked rather than demanded.

I nodded a bit and smiled, "If it helps, then sure."

"Alright, and the third and final condition is this: Tell us everything you know about us and Equestria. It'll be easier to help you if we know what it is you already know."

I sighed, "That… May take a while."

Twilight smiled and laid down, "We have time."

"Alright," I chuckled, "Just don't get upset with me. First the basics, what I know to be true." I then went on a summary of all of Season 1 and the two part Discord fight. By the time I had finished that much, everyone's eyes were the size of saucers.

"So yeah, that's what I know is true. Here comes the stuff that myself and others like me have sorta guessed and inferred about the seven of you." My gaze slid to the left, landing on Rainbow Dash, "You, Ms. Dash, have your… sexual preferences questioned constantly. I don't judge, so whatever floats your boat. Also," I scratched my cheek in discomfort, "You work in the Rainbow Factory, where," I looked down at my hands, "Ummm, where you use a machine to grind up pegasi in order to extract the individual colors that make up the rainbow." The silence following my words was deafening, so I decided to just plow through it, "Rarity, people think your prudish, but kind. They also think that you are Sweetie Belle's mother." The gasp that came from Rarity stung on the inside, "Pinkie Pie you have some of the best and worst followings. The good side is that people love you and your randomness, though they question whether or not you prefer males or females at times. The bad side is…" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, "Well, Pinkamina. Back when you were upset and your hair got straight and stuff? Yeah, that has become a homicidal maniac who uses a lottery to choose ponies to find, kill, then bake into cupcakes." Have you ever heard the sound of a pony's smile vanishing? It sucks, a lot, "Spike, not much with you actually. People think your crush is cute, but that's about it. Fluttershy, people like you a lot, cause your just plain adorable. They also think you're a closet nymphomaniac." I swear her squeak went on into a pitch my human ears couldn't hear, "Applejack, people love your blunt nature, but they also think you sleep with your family and are Applebloom's real mother. Finally, you Twilight," I could see her mentally prepare for the worst, "With you? Pretty much everything. And I mean everything, so I'll spare you the details." I rubbed my neck again, feeling the tension in the room like a heavy fog, "Outside of that, all I really know are straight up guesses about other ponies. I really only know a bit about a few, ones I called my favorites: Berry Punch, Vinyl Scratch, and Octavia. Though what I know about them is so limited that I won't try to explain it." I laughed weakly as I finished, keeping my gaze on the floor.

"And you," Twilight began with barely contained anger, "Believe this nonsense?"

I jumped a bit at the venom in her voice, "Oh Goddess no! Most of that stuff is just based on "What If" style situations, all hypothetical. The only reason I looked at it was because I enjoy looking at "what ifs." It made you all a lot more interesting is all!" I tried my best to sound apologetic.

Twilight sighed softly, "Alright, I'd be more upset, but it's late. Applejack," The orange earth pony looked at her friend, "Since you found him, can you take him for tonight? I'll take him back tomorrow, but for now the library is too cluttered and I don't have enough space." It would have bugged me to be talked about like a bit of furniture, but I felt bad about earlier and let it slide.

"Well sugarcube, thing is, ah wasn't the one who found 'im," Applejack nodded at Fluttershy, who suddenly realized what was about to happen, "Fluttershy found 'im. 'Sides, ah don't have room for 'im either, not til tomorrow when I can clean out the barn a bit."

Twilight looked at the yellow Pegasus, "Fluttershy, please?" Twilight practically begged, which hurt my pride a bit.

Fluttershy looked around a bit, as if trying to find a means of escape, then nodded, "Alright." She said, so softly that, if one weren't paying attention, you would've thought it was just the wind.

"Thanks Fluttershy, we all owe you." Twilight responded before looking back at me, "Alright, you'll be with Fluttershy for the night and back here in the morning. If I hear any hint of trouble, I'll send you straight to the Everfree Forest, got that?" Twilight asked harshly.

I held my hands up in mock defeat, "You won't hear a peep, troubled or otherwise. I'm just ready to go to sleep, all of this has tired me out like you wouldn't believe." I stood up and bowed slightly, "Thanks Twilight, for doing this." With that I left the library and stood outside, realizing a little known fact: The sky of Equestria at night is beautiful. Without the light pollution of the human world, every star stood out. I was in awe for a moment, then looked around because I was about to let my inner fanboy out.

Seeing no one, I gave a small salute to the moon, "For the New Lunar Republic and the True Princess of Equestria!" I whispered into the night sky. In all honesty, it felt pretty damn cool. I turned around at the sound of hoofbeats behind me. Everyone, sans Twilight and Spike, was saying their goodnights and leaving the library. I stood silently and waited while they all shared last minute comments, most likely about me and what I had told them. Soon they all parted, leaving me and Fluttershy staring at each other awkwardly for a while.

I looked back at the sky, "Hey, I figure, what with all the animals at your place, maybe I'll sleep outside," I looked back at her with a soft smile, "It's a beautiful night anyway."

Fluttershy looked at the sky as well, then back at me with a smile, "Yeah, that's alright." She started walking towards her home and I was quick to follow. We didn't say anything during our walk, but the silence was a content one. Fluttershy's home soon came into sight, the quaint little burrow filled with the sounds of sleeping animals.

I walked halfway up the hill before sitting down. I looked at Fluttershy and patted the ground next to me, silently asking her to sit. After a few moments hesitation, she relented and lay down beside me, smiling awkwardly.

"So," I started, "I guess you probably don't like me too much after all that, huh?" I asked rhetorically.

"W-well, not exactly," She replied, much to my surprise, "It's not like you made that stuff up, you just thought it was fun in an odd way, right?" She looked up at me. I could see myself in those big eyes of hers and let me tell you, it was the most adorable thing I have or ever will see.

"Yeah, exactly," I smiled and laughed softly, "You are most certainly the Element of Kindness…Can I ask you a weird favor?" I said softly.

"I guess?" Fluttershy responded warily.

"Could I…" I could feel myself blushing a bit, "Could I mess with your mane? I know it sounds weird, but I had a lot of girls for friends and doin that with their hair always helped me relax. It's totally cool if you don't want to but I just thought I'd ask anyway…" I finished lamely, hoping I didn't sound as dumb as I thought I did. She looked at me for a little while, head tilted to the side, before laying her head in my lap, eyes closed. I swear, the smile I had one probably made my mouth wider. I began to gently run my fingers through Fluttershy's mane and let me tell you, it was softer than chinchilla fur. I don't know how long I sat there, just running my fingers through her mane, undoing knots and gently as I could. I sort of fell into a meditative state doing it, until I heard Fluttershy's soft snores, then I stopped. I chuckled softly, partly for the fact that she was just so cute, partly due to the fact that, throughout all of this, I hadn't gone batshit insane. I laid back, hands behind my head, and closed my eyes. Was today a good day? Not really, I was either seriously brain damaged or in another dimension with no foreseeable way home. Was it a bad day? Opening an eye to look at the pony asleep in my lap, I decided that it wasn't too terrible.

I woke up and was fairly disappointed to see that I was still in Equestria. It was then that I noticed a slight weight on my chest, one that was distinctly not Fluttershy. Looking downwards I saw a very fuzzy, very angry face. It was Angel, Fluttershy's pet rabbit, who seemed as happy as ever, which means he didn't see happy at all. I was going to try and justify why I was laying on top of Fluttershy's house, but then I realized it was a rabbit, no matter how intelligent he may be. I sighed and patted him on the head, then started to scratch him behind his ears. At first, it looked like he was going to bite my hand, but it seems I quickly found his sweet spot and he calmed down, a lazy smile on his face. I sat up, gently moving him to my lap, not ceasing my scratching, and looked around. Either Fluttershy had left me, which I doubted, or she had to tend to her animals, which was quickly confirmed by the sight of her spreading feed for her chickens.

I smiled and looked down at Angel, who seemed more than content to let me continue. It reminded me of my dogs, Buster and Mindo. Remembering them made my hand pause; this then caused Angel to look up at me grumpily.

I looked down at him and smiled sadly, "You know little one," I nuzzled the top of his head, "You remind me very much of two similarly fuzzy individuals who I miss very much." When I straightened up, my eyes were wet, though I wasn't terribly surprised. What did surprise me was the sudden hug from behind, and the light pink hair spilling over my shoulders revealed the perpetrator.

"I'm so sorry; you must miss your home so much." She said softly, "Is there anything I can do?"

I sighed a bit and rubbed my eyes, "Not really Fluttershy, but thanks." I turned and returned the hug, inhaling the strawberry scent that inexplicably came from her mane. I let go and stood up, stretching out the kinks that came from sleeping on the ground.

"So, have do you do breakfast or what?" I asked with a smile, "Either way is fine, but I figured I should ask." Fluttershy nodded and led me into her home. I had to stoop over slightly when I got inside, but that was the worst of it, so I couldn't complain. Breakfast was, thankfully, a simple fruit salad, something that she and I could both eat. I kneeled down while she stood, the food was good and we had a nice chat while we ate. I mostly asked about the animals she took care of, but she was more than happy to answer my questions. I was nearly done when I felt a familiar weight on my shoulder, a weight while a sarcastic scowl on its fuzzy face. While I'm not fluent in rabbit, I could see him staring up a few choices chunks of fruit in my bowl. I chuckled and held up a piece for him to eat, which he did happily. I repeated the process until my bowl was empty and Angel was full and happy. He seemed content as he got off my shoulder and went off to do whatever he does in his spare time.

"Incredible, I've never seen Angel behave so well with anypony before." Fluttershy commented, a note of admiration in her voice.

I shrugged, "Animals have always liked me for some reason, though I'm not quite sure why." I laughed, "Maybe I smell good." I laughed even harder when Fluttershy came over and gave me a quick sniff, "I was bein' sarcastic dear."

"But you do smell really nice." She replied.

"Wow, really? Neat." I said, surprised. I sniffed my clothes in an attempt to discover this magical odor. When I couldn't smell anything I gave up and helped Fluttershy clean up. Once everything was set, she said goodbye to her animals and walked beside me as we headed back to the library. We talked a bit as we walked, though the conversation was mostly Fluttershy asking me about animals from my world. I answered to the best of my knowledge, though my knowledge about animals was horrendously limited.

After a while the library came into view, as did the rest of Ponyville. The lack of tension made me guess that somepony, probably Pinkie, had told the town that I wasn't a danger to them. I still got a number of stares from ponies, though now they were just curious looks. Fluttershy knocked on the library door and I stood beside her. Spike opened the door, looking like he had just woken up, which I wouldn't doubt, and let us in.

I didn't see any equipment around, science or otherwise, so I figured that Twilight was still planning her experiments. I heard Fluttershy saying her goodbyes to Spike and turned around.

"Thanks for having me over Fluttershy." I said, putting a hand on her head.

"It was nothing John. It was… Nice." She replied, smiling.


	2. Lament

I was sad, in a way, to see Fluttershy walk away. Then again, there were some more pressing matters at hand, such as the experiments I was worried that Twilight may perform on me. My mind filled with images of horrible and invasive procedures, so needless to say I wasn't excited. When she walked in the room, certain muscles clenched in fear, but I put on a smile and waited for her to start.

Horn aglow, she jotted something down on a sheet of paper before looking at me, "No trouble at Fluttershy's I hope?" She asked, eyebrow raised, "Feel free to talk, today we're only going over your physical layout. I figured that, before anything, we should figure you out before we try to figure out what got you here." She started walking around me slowly, looking over each inch critically.

"Ummm, ok?" I replied, slightly confused but not in the mood to argue, "Well last night was really nice, after I left of course. Sorry about all that, by the way, I really didn't mean to make anyone upset."

Twilight shrugged, how she did though is beyond me, "Its fine. I remember, back when I was a filly, I used to write stuff like that about my favorite books. So it isn't like I don't know where you and your kind are coming from." Twilight magicked some measuring tape next to me, "Could you lift your… what are those things called anyway?" She poked my elbow with her quill.

"Arms." I replied, lifting them up, "Question, did you want me to keep my clothes on for this or…?" I asked, kinda hoping she would say yes.

"Arms, I see." She jotted down another note, while beginning to take my measurements "And what do you mean clothes?"

I pulled at the collar of my shirt, "Clothes," I gestured to my humble ensemble of jeans, shoes, shirt, and zip-up hoodie, "The stuff I am wearing."

"Is that what those are?" Twilight asked, incredulous, "I thought it was colorful, saggy skin that your kind used to identify one another!" She crossed something out, "Well then yes, take them off."

I sighed inwardly, "Alright," I said, not willing to argue with a being that could warp time and space for shits and giggles, "Gimme a minute."

The tape moved away, "Go on." She said, watching. Ugh, why did she have to watch? She's Twilight, that's why. And she, along with every other pony in Equestria, didn't understand the purpose of clothing for humans. Then again, I didn't understand the purpose for some clothing, like ties. Ties are dumb, but I digress. I quickly undressed myself, inwardly repeating 'It's just like a doctor's appointment.' I figured that, if I thought it enough, it would help, which it almost did, but not quite. Seriously, having one's junk exposed to a being they admire is not cool. Unless they're having sex, which I wasn't and wouldn't because that would be sick and wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong.

Twilight looked me over and began taking measurements again, "Huh, only two patches of hair, how do you humans stay warm?" She didn't seem to notice my dying of embarrassment, so I was slightly relieved.

"That's the reason for the clothes," I replied, "Along with certain societal requirements. We humans have designed clothes for nearly every situation: Clothes for when it's hot, clothes for when it's cold. Clothes for parties, clothes for staying at home, even clothes for no other purpose than decoration." I explained as Twilight furiously put down more notes.

"Fascinating." She said, putting a new piece of parchment on the clipboard, "Well, I've written down everything about your outsides," I was curious to see what she wrote about my nethers, male pride and whatnot, "And seeing as how there are no books on your species, I'll have to trust you on what you say your insides are like." She laid down on a pillow and gestured towards another pillow, "Sit down then."

"Can I get dressed first?" I pleaded. I don't know if it was the lack of cover, but the library felt rather cold.

"Why? Seems like a lot of trouble for something that isn't terribly useful." She said, magically lifting my jacket.

"It's a part of those societal requirements I mentioned and will be happy to explain at a later date." I quickly replied. Not waiting for her to say yes, I slipped back into my clothes with a happy sigh, "Much better." I said, patting myself down a bit.

Twilight rolled her eyes and gestured at the pillow again. I nodded and sat down, happy enough to be covered again.

"So, your organs, bones, try to tell me about everything that goes on inside you." Twilight said, quill at the ready.

I rubbed my chin for a second before responding, "Do you have a book on pony anatomy, with pictures and stuff? It'll be easier for me to compare rather than explain." I said, happy with my solution.

Twilight nodded and magically summoned a book from a shelf nearby, letting it hover in front of me. I grabbed it and flipped through pages before finding a section that had a few pictures of a pony with all of its legs spread, each one showing a different "layer" of the body.

"Cool," I smirked and scooted over to Twilight, "Alright, now I just need some paper and something to write with." Twilight quickly summoned the necessary materials. I drew a crude human outline similar to that of the pony in the book, limbs all spread, "Alright, just fyi, I'm not great with anatomy, but I'll tell you everything I can." I then proceeded to go through all the major organs: heart, lungs, kidneys, etc. Interesting fact: Pony anatomy is fairly similar to that of humans, just placed a little differently due to the shape difference between the species. Once I had covered organs, I went over bone structure, veins, and muscles, though, again, pony and human layouts were fairly similar. The only difference, actually, was a pony organ in their torso that I couldn't identify.

Pointing to it and reading the label, I turned to Twilight, "Hey, what's a "Vita Center?"" I asked, hoping it wasn't something akin to a gizzard and I was just a moron.

She looked surprised but started explaining regardless, "The Vita-Center is the organ in a pony that regulates magic." She flipped to a page dedicated to it, "Depending on its size, it determines what kind of pony one will become." She tapped a chart with her hoof, "Small Centers mean that you would be an earth pony. Medium to large ones mean you'll be a Pegasus, and anything bigger would make you a unicorn. There's some more to it, but seeing as you aren't a pony it doesn't matter." She closed the book.

I furrowed my brow a bit, "Sounds painful." I commented, imagining large to be the size of an orange or the like.

"Not really, see the Center isn't actually that big. Small ones are the size of peas, medium to large are the size of beans, and large ones only really ever get to be the size of a grape." She tapped her chin with her hoof, "Sometimes a unicorn's Center will get swollen from over or under use of magic, but a quick visit to a doctor usually takes care of it." She put the book away and turned to me again, "So you're saying humans don't have a Vita-Center?" She asked incredulously. It was as if I said we don't have intestines or something.

"No, not that I know of." I replied, biting back a snide remark, "Closest thing I can figure to that would be the human appendix, but that is a useless organ," I shrugged, "In fact, most of the time it's removed from our bodies due to various circumstances." My eyes scanned the shelves, "It kinda sucks though. Often are the times I wish I could do magic. Sadly, where I'm from, magic technically doesn't exist." I gave a dramatic sigh.

"Doesn't exist?" Twilight replied in a tone that one would use if someone else had a second head that suddenly began to speak, "Then how do the sun and moon rise? How does weather work?" She barraged me with questions until I could finally take no more and held my hand up to her face.

"Twilight, much respect to your curiosity, I will try to explain how things work in my world later. For now, can we focus?" I asked, trying not to sound like I was pleading.

Twilight sighed a bit, but smiled and nodded, "Alright, I guess we should go over what you were doing before you came here." She said, ready to take down some more notes. I nodded and went over my day which, for all intents and purposes, was a normal day. I didn't have any college classes scheduled, so I worked the morning shift at work from 8 to 1, then went home, ate, and took a nap. For a while we both pondered over what I could have done or what could have happened to bring me to Equestria, but neither of us could think of anything. I was relieved to see Spike bring in two hot cups of tea, because I needed a break. After a quick thank you I picked up the cup and took a sip, smiling as the warmth entered.

Twilight put away her notes and levitated her cup before taking a sip and sighing happily, "Well, that's all we can do for today. I'll go over what I can for now, so it may be a few days before I actually need you to come back for any tests." She pawed at the ground awkwardly, not making eye contact with me, "So, by everything, you meant pairing me up with ponies as well?" She asked, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

Once I had finished choking on my tea, I responded, "Uhhmm, yeah, why?" I asked, trying not to think of all the clop fics that had been made.

She looked down at the floor, "… I'm curious honestly. You know me well enough to know I'm not the romantic type, so I was curious as to who I was paired with." I could actually see the blush on her snout, through her fur.

I tapped my chin, "Umm, hmmm. A better questioned would be, who WEREN'T you paired with." I laughed nervously, "Well, all of your friends, even, well." I nodded towards Spike, who was putting a book up on a shelf, "And a few other ponies as well, even a few original characters that people made up."

Twilight looked at Spike, then at me, then buried her face under her hooves, "Oh Celestia, please tell your joking." I was never a giant fan of Twilight's, but the level of cute in the room was quickly changing that.

"I wish I were. Realize that no one ever thought it would happen, they were just fun ideas." I said, trying to make her feel better.

"What's so fun about me being paired up with random ponies?" She shouted, her face a dark reddish purple now.

"I dunno, it adds depth to your character I guess…" I rubbed my neck. I desperately tried to think of something to say, but found nothing. Suddenly I remembered Fluttershy's reaction to my toying with her mane last night. I decided to try it out on Twilight and see what became of it. Worse thing it that she flips her pony shit and blasts me out of the library, so no pressure. I scooted over a bit more and began gently sliding my fingers through her mane. Her ears perked up in surprise, but slowly fell as she relaxed. It was therapeutic for the both of us really, she was relaxing while being pampered a bit, and I had something to do with my hands, so I was happy. I couldn't help but notice the faint scent of lavender her mane gave off as I combed through it. I'm not usually a fan of lavender, but the scent was soft, so I found it more therapeutic than annoying. After a little while of this, I started braiding her pink streak, and yes, I'm a dude who knows how to braid, get over it.

I had just tied off the end when a knock on the library door made us both jump. We laughed a bit as Twilight went over and answered it. I stood up and looked over at Spike, who was looking at me oddly.

"Yes?" I asked, curious as to what was befuddling him.

"Your kinda weird, y'know that?" he said bluntly. Ah Spike, to the point as always.

"Yep, that a bad thing?" I replied, content with my oddness.

"Nah, it's not a bad kind of weird." Spike looked over towards Twilight, "That was probably the first time I've seen Twilight just lay down and relax. She's usually always doing something, reading, having me take a letter, going out with a friend," Spike looked back to me, "Seeing her relax was nice. I figure you aren't a bad guy, right?" He asked, smiling.

"Of course not." I said with mock appall before chuckling a bit.

"Well alright, just stay away from Rarity, she's mine, got it?" He put up his tiny fists in a mock fighting stance.

I laughed, "You got it bro." I said, bumping my fist against one of his.

He looked at his fist and back at me, "Bro?" He questioned.

"Bro, short way of saying brother, where I'm from it's like saying you're a good friend." I explained.

"Huh, bro." Spike looked at his fist again, then smiled, "I guess I'll see you later… bro." He said, walking off to what I assumed was another chore. I waved as he went to another room, then turned to see Applejack and Twilight looking at me with mushy faces.

"Ummm… what?" I asked, slightly worried.

"That was SO CUTE." Twilight gushed, then squeed a bit.

"She's right hun, that wus downright adorable." Applejack said, walking up to me and nudging my hip with her flank, "Who knew ya had a soft side?" She teased.

"Funny." I said, rolling my eyes, "What're you doing here anyway?" I asked, trying not to sound rude.

"Welp, its mah turn to take care of ya for the night, so ah figgered that, iffin ya want to sleep in mah barn, ya gotta earn it." She said, heading back towards the door, "Twilight said she was done with ya fer today, so ah'm takin ya over to Sweet Apple Acres to put ya to work." She nudged Twilight in a friendly way, "See ya Twilight, ah promise ah won't break 'im." She and Twilight both giggled, while I stood beside Applejack, ready to go, slightly concerned at the breaking comment.

Once they were done, Applejack and I stepped outside and began walking towards Sweet Apple Acres. I took in the colorful sight that was Ponyville, happy to see that the number of stares had diminished.

"So, Applejack," I started, "Two things I want to address before anything." We continued walking, but she turned and looked at me while she did so, "First, what is it you want me to do at the Acres? I'm more than happy to help, but I'd like to know before we start."

Applejack shrugged and looked away from me, "Dunno, ah guess we'll have to see when we get there." She said curtly, though I couldn't really blame her since it was probably due to the incident from the night before.

I sighed and nodded, "Okay then." I rubbed my neck, "The second thing is that I want to apologize."

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me, "What fer, ya didn't do nothin'." She said, with slight surprise in her voice. Whether it was the fact that I was apologizing at all or that I'd caught off guard, the tone of surprise was welcome in a way, because it meant that I had done something that was different from the first impression I had left.

I stopped and looked her in the eye, "You might say I didn't do anything, but I know as well as you do that I insulted you all in a way and hurt a lot of feelings, regardless if I meant to or not. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, let me know, yeah?" I said, smiling.

She tapped her hoof against her chin for a few seconds, "Kneel down again." She demanded. I cocked my eyebrow, but did as she asked. She stared at me for a few seconds before lifting a hoof and patting my head.

"Uhh?" I intelligently replied.

She smiled and started walking again, "You were willin to put aside yer pride and apologize, then try and make up fer it." I jogged a bit to catch up with her, "Way I see it, so long as ya work hard at the Acres, then it's all water under th' bridge."

"I'm happy to hear it." I saw the barn come into view, "Hmm, so I may as well tell you now, I've no experience in anything apples. I can lift stuff pretty well though." I said, stretching out as we walked. I was glad I had worked in a stockroom, so I knew how to lift things properly without hurting myself.

Applejack opend the gate for me and thought for a second, "Hmm, ah suppose ya could help me while ah'm buckin'. We can even see if ya can buck yerself!" She said.

"I'm rather sure I don't have the muscle for bucking Applejack." I said, picturing myself kicking a tree, and then falling to the ground in pain.

Applejack looked around, smirked, and then waved for me to come closer. I cocked my eyebrow, but bent down anyway and looked her in the eye.

"It's not as hard as ya think." Applejack nodded towards her orchards, "Y'see, the apple we raise are so heavy that the stems just barely hold'em up. All ya need to do is give the tree a nice kick," She bucked the air behind her, "An' they just fall right off." She went towards the barn, put on some sort of harness and started rolling some baskets towards the orchard, "Just don't tell anyone, y'hear?" She shouted back at me.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, then quickly copied her actions and rolled some baskets behind her. She stopped near a tree that was fat with apples and started laying the baskets around the tree. I mirrored her actions, and then looked at her. She gestured towards the tree, the kicked the air behind her. I rubbed my neck, nodded, and then got into a stance. I had taken a year or two or martial arts, so I knew how to kick with power and not hurt myself in doing so. I brought my leg up a few times, testing the distance and gaining a few odd looks from Applejack. I rolled my eyes and gave the trunk a solid kick, the sensation satisfying in a way. Jumping back quickly I heard a slight rumbling, then saw an absolute avalanche of apples fall into the baskets Applejack and I had laid out just minutes earlier. Through what I will only assume is the magic of Equestria, all the apples fell neatly into each basket, not even one hit the ground.

"Yeehaw!" Applejack shouted, tapping her front hooves together in what I assume was a pony version of clapping, "Shoot John, that was great! You've got the makin's of a fine apple bucker." Applejack put two baskets in the harness she had on. I lifted one basket onto my shoulder, judged myself capable of lifting another and did so, tucking it under my arm. Applejack and I walked back to the barn and put the baskets down, then grabbed a few more and brought them to another tree. I kicked this one as well, smiling at the sight of the applelanch (it's a word now, deal with it), then helped Applejack bring them back to the barn. I'm not sure how many times we repeated this process, we went on until the sun went down, so it had to be six or more hours. By the time we were done, Applejack had been bucking the trees and I had worked up a healthy sweat. I put down the last of the baskets and stretched out, fully aware of the fact that I was going to be very sore tomorrow.

"Well John, ya done good." Applejack said, shrugging off the harness, "There's a bed in th' barn, so ya can scoot on in there and ah'll bring ya some supper." Applejack smiled at me, a genuine smile, and walked towards the house. I smiled and walked into the barn, though my stride was immediately halted be a very big, very red obstacle. Removing my face from the fuzzy wall in front of me, I was both startled and pleased to see Big Macintosh looking back at me with a raised eyebrow. Being a pony of few words, he just raised an eyebrow and continued looking at me.

Knowing the speech of the silent, I understood his question immediately, "I'm John," I pointed my thumb at the house, "Applejack said I can kip here for one night a week." I finished with a smirk. Big Mac looked over at the house, then back at me. He continued staring for a second, then shrugged and walked off. I watched him leave, admiring his size. While Applejack was 5'9", Big Mac easily had six inches on her in height, not to mention the fact that he was built like a tank with legs. MY fanboy fueled admiration spent; I walked farther into the barn, inhaling the scent of hay. It was pleasant, earthy, and I could feel myself relaxing. Looking around revealed a few farm tools and a few bales of hay. It seemed pretty similar to a human barn, except it lacked the tool one would usually find. I figured this was because ponies didn't have hands to manipulate tools like humans did. I shrugged, then walked over to a pile of hay with a few sheet laid on top of it and a pillow. The layout was simple, and all I really needed, so I was content. What made me curious was the large lump in the center, so I walked over and tore off the top sheet. I was not prepared for what lay underneath: The Cutie Mark Crusaders all asleep in a small pile. If cute could kill I would have just died twenty times over. I pondered what to do as I sat on my haunches: Waking them up would free up my bed, but the resulting loss of cute would probably cause the universe to destroy me. If I let them continue sleeping, then I was short a bed. I decided to risk universal hatred and gently nudged Applebloom awake. She yawned and looked at me, eyes still half closed with sleep.

She stared at me and I at her, then I raised my hand up, "Yo." I said shortly.

She then proceeded to scream, which in turn woke up the other two crusaders, who also began screaming. I tried to calm them down, but that didn't seem to help at all.

"It's a monster!" Shouted Applebloom, which hurt my soul.

"It's gonna get us!" Shrieked Sweetie Belle.

"Not if we get it first!" Scootaloo said, "C'mon!"

"Cutie Mark Crusader Monster Hunters! Yay!" The three shouted together. I would have said "Awww," or something to a similar effect, but I was busy being jumped on by three fillies that were determined to take me down. While their efforts weren't terribly effective, they were annoying in that I had a long day, I was tired and hungry, and I was still trapped in another dimension and this was not how I wanted to go to bed.

"APPLEBLOOM! WHAT IN THE HAY DO YOU AND YER FRIENDS THINK YER DOIN'!" Shouted Applejack, who had walked in with a bowl of food, only to see me with three fillies on me, two of whom were tugging at my clothes, the third of whom was jumping on my back.

"We're takin' down a monster!" She said as if it were obvious, returning to the task of tugging at my shirt.

"Yeah!" Chorused the other two, who also returned to their attempts to vanquish me. Now, I would've let this go on until Applejack had explained the situation, as I am normally a patient man. However, there are a few things that will set me off. One of which is the sound of my only set of clothes tearing due to the endeavors of three cute but misguided fillies. A quick back-story to help clear up why my being angry is a bad thing: See, I am a pretty large guy, tall and broad. Often my friends would compare me to a bear, which was an apt comparison, as I am pretty ok until someone, something, or in this case, somepony, upsets me. Then things get ugly pretty quickly, as my temper is a violent and loud one.

"GET! OFF! NOW!" I shouted, causing a few birds that had roosted inside the barn to fly away in fear. The Crusaders quickly jumped off of me and huddled together in fear, looking at me. I stood, breathing heavily, glaring fire at the small fillies, and then just roared at them. No words, just a primal, bottom of the gut roar. The three fillies screamed and ran off towards the house, not bothering to look back. I looked at Applejack who looked ready to buck me upside the head, but I couldn't care less at the moment. I took off my shirt and jacket to assess the damage done to each, quickly realizing it was beyond repair. A large hole had been torn out of the back of both layers, far too big to just be patched up.

I looked at the damage and leaned back against the wall, "Shit," I said under my breath, "Shitting son of a BITCH!" I shouted, punching the wall I was leaning on. I heard a crack though I couldn't tell if it was the wood or my knuckles breaking that made the noise. At the time I didn't really care, as I fell to my knees and just stared at the now ruined clothing. I won't lie, tears started to form in my eyes as I looked at the tattered pieces of cloth. It wasn't so much the fact that they had torn my clothes, it was more the fact that, outside of my memories, my clothes and shoes were the only things left I had of my own world, of my home. I let my head hang and I fought back the tears forming in my eyes, not willing to let myself cry.

I felt Applejack put a hoof on my shoulder, "What's wrong?" she asked, concern in her voice.

I lifted my head and saw, not anger, but worry in her large green eyes, "They tore my friggin clothes." I replied weakly.

"Now, now, ah'm sure Rarity can make you more." She said, rubbing my back.

"It's not the clothes!" I snapped, causing her to flinch, "Sorry," I said quickly, looking back at the pile, "It's not the clothes Applejack. The fact is that, normally, I don't care much for clothing. However, they're all I have left to me now," Again I felt my eyes water, "They're all I have left of my home. And my memory isn't so great, so they're all I really have to remind me of where I was raised, my friends, and my family." I looked at her, not ashamed of the streaks now running down my face, "A home, a family, and friends I may never, ever see again." I finished weakly. She only looked at me now, at a loss for words. I silently got up and went over to the pile of hay that was to be my bed for the night and laid down, pulling the sheet over my body. Applejack left a bowl of hot porridge and apple bits beside me and left, silently muttering a weak good night. After she had left, I quickly down the food, though I wasn't hungry. I knew I would need the energy though, so I choked it down. That night I was up for hours, silently letting tears stream down my face as I remembered my own world and thought about how I may never see it again. It was a long night, and though the barn was warm, I was cold inside.

I had never missed home so much.


	3. Rectification

I woke up to darkness, though it wasn't unusual. I had an odd habit of waking up around 3 a.m. every morning, and I had grown used to it. I didn't feel like trying to go back to sleep though, so I got up and stretched out my sore muscles. I grabbed the remains of my shirt and jacket and put them on; inwardly cringing at the large hole I could feel in the both of them. I felt kinda bad about yelling at the Crusaders, but I knew it wasn't totally unjustified. Either way, I needed to do something until the others woke up. I stepped saw a ladder that led up into a hay loft and decided to climb up. It was nice up here; the breeze coming in made it cool, but not chilly. I sat down, hanging my legs out of the hole/window that barns had in order to toss hay down to the ground. Taking up a pose reminiscent of "The Thinker," I did precisely as the title stated; I thought. I sat and began thinking of ways I could've come here, ways I could get home, things to do, things I should do, and just random thoughts in general.

"John?" A voice knocked me out of my reverie, "Ya in here?" Applejack asked loudly. She had probably discovered my empty bed and was concerned.

I popped my head over the edge of the loft, "Morning Applejack." I said, climbing down, "We headed back into Ponyville soon?"

"Yep," She replied, "Right after breakfast," she smiled at me warmly, "But first, I have some ponies who owe you an apology." She stepped aside, revealing Applebloom and Sweetie Belle looking at the ground, ashamed. Scootaloo, meanwhile, was pouting and didn't look at me, though this didn't bother me as it was on par with her character. I crossed my arms and cocked my eyebrow as the three of them walked forward.

"We're sorry fer rippin' up yer stuff," Applebloom said, "We didn' know it wus important."

"Indeed," Sweetie Belle chimed (get the pun?), "Had we known of your situation, we wouldn't have done what we did." Her speech made the corner of my mouth twitch into a smirk, it was cute hearing her speak so formally.

Scootaloo huffed and looked away until her friends nudged her, "Sorry." She mumbled, looking down. I crouched down if front of the three of them, looking at each in turn. I raised my hand and they flinched, closing their eyes, waiting for me to hit them. I saw Applejack take a concerned step towards me, but I smiled and she stopped. I then quickly flicked each filly hard in the forehead, and then chuckled.

"That," I said as they rubbed their heads, "Is for ruining my clothes." Then I grabbed the three of them and hugged them gently, "And this," I said softly, "Is me saying sorry for scaring you last night." I could feel Applebloom and Sweetie Belle returning the hug while Scootaloo wriggled around a bit before doing the same. I let them go on their merry way after a few more seconds and then turned to Applejack who was smiling softly.

"Shoot John, yer just a huge softie, aren't ya?" She giggled softly, passing me another bowl of oatmeal and apple slices.

I blushed a bit, taking the bowl, "Yeah, yeah, I'm a big teddy bear." I mumbled, downing the mix. I was a big softy in general, but having people comment on it made me blush. I finished the food and handed Applejack the bowl, then stood up and stretched again, "So Applejack," I turned towards her, "Who am I being entrusted to today?" I asked.

Somehow Applejack had the empty bowl balanced atop her hat, "Rarity'll be takin' you fer today. Ah'll take you down there soon, just wait here fer a sec." I nodded and watched her leave, and then noticed the large pile of hay in front of the barn. There was also a ladder propped up against the side of the barn that led to the roof. Now normally I would be questioning how a pony would use a ladder, but I was too busy starting a stupid idea to bother.

Standing on top of the barn, I saw Applejack galloping towards me, "John! What in the hay are you doin?" She shouted up at me.

"Something really, really stupid or really, really fun!" I shouted back, "I'll let you know when I find out!" I took a step back, and then jumped off the edge. I hung in the air for what felt like a few minutes, and then quickly found myself inside a large pile of hay.

I crawled out and lifted my arms up high, "WOO!" I shouted before laughing like a maniac for a few seconds.

Applejack came over and hit me in the arm, "Yer a darned fool!" She scolded, "Ya coulda been hurt!"

I shrugged and started walking, "Could've, but I wasn't, so nothing to do about it now." I said, smiling like a little devil. I heard Applejack huff then trot up beside me.

As I picked hay out of my hair and clothes, Applejack looked at the hole in the back of my shirt and jacket, "Ah'm sure Rarity can fix that fer ya." She said, trying to sound reassuring.

I sighed bit, then shrugged, "It's fine dear, really." I plucked at the ruined clothes, "I'm sure Rarity would love to make clothes for me, seeing as I actually have to change them almost every day."

"Every DAY?" Applejack sounded incredulous, "Why in the hay d'you hafta do that?"

I rubbed my chin for a second, "Well," I began as Ponyville came into sight, "You wash your coat almost every day because it gets dirty, yeah?" I asked rhetorically. She nodded regardless, "Well it's like that in a way, only I need to put on a new "coat" every day so I can stay clean," I toyed with my hair, "Though I need to take a bath or something too, otherwise I'll start to stink something fierce." I figured I would find a river or something, jump in, and try to wash off the worst of it.

"Hmm," Applejack pondered the concept for a second, "Ah guess that makes sense. Still sounds kinda weird ta me though." She shrugged and led me through the streets of Ponyville towards Rarity's boutique. I was pleased to see the only looks I was getting now were from fillies on their way to school, but it was cute, so I let it slide without incident. Applejack and I continued to talk as we walked through town, just about this and that, general stuff. I occasionally asked a question about life on Sweet Apple Acres, which Applejack was more than happy to answer. Soon the Carousel Boutique came into view, in all its well designed glory. I gave Applejack a hug that she returned (interesting fact, she smells like apples and cinnamon), then she went on her way back to the Acres to start her day's work. I turned and went up to the door of the Boutique and knocked a few times, then waited. I looked inside one of the windows, admiring the level of expertise that Rarity had in her designs. I heard the door open and saw a familiar purple coif in the doorway.

"Ah, I assume Applejack went back to the farm, yes?" Rarity asked, looking around, "Fine, fine. Come in then dear." She held the door open for me and I gave a small bow of thanks as I walked by, "Oh my! What happened to your back?" I guess she saw the holes in my clothes.

I chuckled weakly, and then gave a summary of what had happened while Applejack had taken me in for the night, "So now I have to say a few things," I said, once I had finished reciting my lament, "The first is I wanted to apologize for the other night. While I'm sure you'll say its fine or something like that, it was pretty obvious I insulted you, so I wanted to apologize for that."

"It really is fine dear," Rarity said, then she smiled, "However, I appreciate your apology. It is difficult to find someone who is willing to own up to their mistakes so readily nowadays."

I smiled, and then cleared my throat, "Then next thing is that I have to ask you for a favor. See, I kinda have to wear clothes every day, as I don't have a fur coat, so I was hoping you could help me out with that." I looked down, rubbing my neck, "I'll be happy to compensate you for the cost of the materials, but for that I need to ask a second favor." I looked up and smiled, "Of course, we'll have to see how you do with the clothes first, since it'll be your first time making human clothes."

Rarity looked at me for a second with those azure blue eyes of hers, "Hmmm," She hummed softy, pacing around me, "Well, I do enjoy a challenge and, quite frankly," She sounded very excited, "I don't get near enough business here in Ponyville. I mean, I get orders from Canterlot, so it's not like I struggle, but I get rather bored in between." She finished walking and stood in front of me, a gleam in her eye, "I'll be more than happy to help you out darling."

I breathed a sigh of relief, "I'm happy to hear that Rarity, I really am. So, is there anything you want to do first or…" I let my sentence trail off as I saw her magic a measuring tape and a pad of paper, quickly figuring out what she had in mind.

"I'll need your measurements darling," She stepped closer to me, sniffed the air, then stepped back, "Ugh, perhaps after you bathe then." She put the pad and measuring tape onto a table, "Follow me dear." She started going upstairs with me trailing close behind. As we went through her home, I couldn't help but admire her sense of style. I'm not saying it was to my tastes, as my tastes in décor and clothing are rather odd, but I can recognize quality when I see it. Rarity opened a door and stood aside to let me in, though I was rather surprised when I did enter. I was not surprised at the luxury of the bathroom, it WAS Rarity's so luxury was to be expected, no, what surprised me was how similar it was to a human bathroom. A rather opulent human bathroom mind you, but it was similar nonetheless.

"Alright darling, the shower is over there, the left handle is for hot, the right is for cold," Rarity walked over to a small linen closet and grabbed a towel, "There is soap, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash on the shelf there," She gestured to a shelf along the back of the shower, "Feel free to take your time darling. I dare say you must have gotten yourself quite filthy over the past few days."

I chuckled as she exited the bathroom, and proceeded to get undressed and hop in the shower. The warm water was heavenly on my sore muscles, instantly relieving the tension in them. I looked over at the shelf to try and find some shampoo, but quickly realized that I had quite a few choices ahead of me. I decided on "Mane & Withers," hoping it was similar to the shampoo I used back home. The color and scent were the same, so I decided to just get on with the washing and hope for the best. I heard the door open and popped my head out to see Rarity walk in.

"Hey, y'need something Rarity?" I asked, curious as to her sudden appearance.

"Well yes, darling." She said, pulling out a quill and paper, "I was going to ask you about your clothes: how many of each you needed and what requirements you had for them. After all, I need to create something you would actually enjoy wearing, yes?" Her smile was a soft and I returned it in kind.

"Fair enough," I said with a shrug, pulling my suds covered head back into the shower, "I guess we'll go in layers," I said over the sound of the water, "First layer: Y'see that dark red piece with the grey band on top? Those are boxer briefs, I need at least one for each day of the week, and they have to be made of a gentle material. Color is pretty unimportant, so whatever you like."

"Alright," I could hear her scratching down some notes, "Though I must ask, why?"

I paused for a second, trying to find the right words, "It provides support and cover for my more personal areas." I replied slowly.

"Personal areas?" Rarity asked. Of course, nothing in Equestria wore anything to cover their nethers (Which was really awkward when I first got here, let me tell you) so the concept was probably odd to her.

I groaned softly, "My genitals Rarity, they are used to support and cover my genitals." I pinched the bridge of my nose and grabbed the bar of soap beside me, "That aside," I swear I could hear her blushing, "The next part of layer one is a shirt, that solid white bit. It can have long or short sleeves, but it needs to be able to breathe. For those I usually wear solid colors, any will do really, and I'll need at least seven, again, one for each day of the week."

"I see, alright," she replied, "And the purpose of a "shirt" is?" She questioned.

"It keeps my upper torso warm," I replied, "Also, it's something that we had to have in my world, except in a few circumstances, but I'll tell you about those later." I scrubbed my arms and back, "The third and final bit of layer one are those two white things with the grey bits at either end. They're called socks and I need seven pairs, and they're usually white, but I'm not terribly picky about color." I gave my legs a good scrubbing as she jotted that down, "They keep my feet warm and prevent my shoes from giving me blisters." I decided to go the extra mile and grabbed a bottle of conditioner.

"My goodness," Rarity said, "And that's just the first layer? You humans are an odd bunch." She said, though she didn't mean anything bad by it.

"Yeah, we are." I agreed, fingers going through my hair, "Alright, good news is that there is just one other layer, and it's pretty simple."

"Very well then," Rarity said as I washed out the conditioner, "Go on."

"Well, those dark blue things? Those are pants, specifically jeans. Often made from cotton or denim, they cover my legs and have pockets for storage. For those, I need three or four sets, and I prefer earthy colors, or dark blue. Oh," I remembered the job I had in mind, "And pockets, they usually have four, up around the hips, but I want, like, ten. I'll explain why in a minute." I turned off the water and grabbed the towel she had laid out for me, first drying my hair, then wrapping it around my waist and stepping out.

"Alright, that's all well and good I suppose," She said, as I grabbed my clothes, "Shall we go back downstairs? Feel free to continue while we walk." She went off and I was quick to follow.

"Fine fine, last bit is a jacket," I held out the tattered remains of my old hoodie, "This is for more insulation, made of thicker, heavier material to keep warmth in and cold out. It has a hood to keep my head warm, and for this I'd like darker, richer colors." We were, once again, in the main area of the Boutique, "That's all of it I suppose." I paused, "Well, there are other, more custom and specific pieces, but that's all I need for now."

"Very well then," Rarity said, "Could I take your old clothes? For reference I mean, after all, this will be my first time making things like these, and I'd like to make them as accurately as possible." I nodded and held out the bundle which she lifted and separated with her magic, placing them on an empty table, "Alright, now all I need is to take your measurements." She lifted the measuring tape with her magic and walked towards me. I lifted my arms and spread my legs a bit, tightening the towel around my waist before I did so, and let Rarity do her thing. She was done quickly, a mark of her professionalism, and went over to my old clothes.

"These are mostly made from cotton, correct?" She asked, looking back at me. When she saw me nod, she turned back to the table; "Alright, I should have the first layer done quickly enough, though I will need you to grab a few things for me every so often, understand?" he put on her glasses and smiled. Again I nodded, "Lovely. So why did you want all those pockets on your, what did you call them, "Pants?"" She asked.

I rubbed my neck and watched her scrutinize my old clothes, "Well, to hold things. See, I was gonna try and be an errand boy for the Ponies in town by grabbing things they couldn't normally get themselves."

"Whatever do you mean darling?" Rarity had summoned a bolt of cloth, "Much of what we need is readily available."

"Yeah well," Here came the hard part, "I was going to gather stuff from the Everfree Forest."

She turned so quickly I'm surprised she didn't get whiplash, "Why would you want to do that?" She asked incredulously, "It's dangerous in the Everfree! Not to mention one could get lost quite easily!" She seemed to be honestly concerned for my well being, which made my smile on the inside.

"Well," I began, "The thing is that I know there's stuff in the Everfree that ponies want but can't get. I know how to defend myself, so I figured use what I know and get the things ponies want and charge'em for it. Like a mail-order kinda thing: They give me a list of what they want, we hash out a price, I get it, they pay me. Simple as that."

"Dear, while I respect your wanting to find a job, it is still dangerous to go without something to protect you!" Rarity insisted.

"That's where that second favor comes in," I started slowly, "Rarity, how good are you at working with metals?" She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, "I wanted to put metal plates on a pair of gloves," I pinched the bridge of my nose, anticipating her question, "Gloves are like socks for your hands, but have bits that fit my fingers," I wiggled my digits in front of her, "They would have to be almost up to my elbows, and I want them so I could defend myself if it were necessary." I jabbed the air in front of me a few times to prove my point.

Rarity sighed, "Lets finish your clothes first, then we'll see, alright?" She smiled at me and I sighed in relief. At least she was considering it, that much made me happy. For those of you who are thinking I was jumping into work too quickly, I want you to understand that I am a "Expect the Worst, Hope for the Best" kind of guy. While I truly did want to go home, I knew that the possibility may not be there for a while, or ever. If it took a while or never came around, I wanted to be able to get along by myself without relying on the Mane 6 to help me.

The next couple of hours were filled with Rarity sewing my new outfit together while I grabbed bolts of cloth and various tools for her while making sure my towel didn't fall to the ground. When she finished I went into a dressing room, then stepped out, wearing my new duds: A white t-shirt under a dark blue hoodie, fairly comfy underwear, black jeans that had tons of pockets and a fresh pair of socks.

I stepped in front of a mirror and posed, "Damn," I said with a smile, "I look gooood." I strutted around a bit, then pulled my shoes on.

Rarity giggled at my behavior, "I am happy to know that they meet your tastes. This experience has given me some ideas for new some new pony outfits, but I'll get to those once I finish your clothes." Rarity waved me over to a work bench, "Now darling, while I can do nothing with metals," She traced my hand and forearm onto a sheet of paper, then had me turn so she could trace the other arm, "There are a few things I can do that will work just as well." She whipped together a pair of gloves quicker than I could have believed, while she did have magic it was impressive nonetheless, "There, this material should serve you well." I slipped the gloves on, surprised at the texture, "They are made of a plant fiber that was dried then oiled, so they're tough and waterproof." My surprised increased at that, since the stuff felt just like leather. I would've commented on that, but I held my tongue since the idea of wearing animal skin for clothing may have upset her and everyone within earshot. Rarity walked over to a chest and propped it open, revealing a large cache of jewels. While I could recognize a few of them, others looked quite foreign to me.

"Umm, no offense Rarity, but bejeweling the gloves won't help much. I mean, I could crack a few teeth, but gems are pretty brittle." I knelt by the chest and was going to stick my hand in when Rarity put her hoof on my hand.

She shook her head, "Believe me dear, you do not want to do that." I brought my hand back and looked at her with a raised eyebrow, "Now you would normally be correct: Gems would be terrible for protecting oneself. However," She levitated a few of the gems from the chest, "These are not normal gems. Quite the opposite, they are enchanted gemstones. Each one has a different effect, so sticking your, hand was it? Yes? Your hand into a chest filled with them would be unwise." She placed the gems onto a table next to her, using her magic to root through the chest.

"Ok, fair enough, that would be better," I nodded, "But I have to ask: Why do you have a chest filled with enchanted gems?"

"You remember when I told you about my business from Canterlot, yes?" I nodded, "Well, on occasion, somepony will ask for a piece that has some sort of special effects. Usually for parties or a play, so I attach the appropriate gem and there you go, now you glow when its dark out, or you can shoot harmless sparks from your hooves." She grabbed two similar gems, simple square cuts, with each corner colored, though one had red corners, the other had green, "These, for example, are actually quite common. If you look closely at a school-filly's bag, you would probably see this one attached to it somewhere," She held up the one with red corners, "It is commonly known as a Homing Stone. Fairly basic magic really, you just attune it to a location and it will constantly point to that spot." Her horn glowed brightly for a second then quickly died out, "There, now it will always point you back towards the center of Ponyville. You'll be able to change the homing location, but this should do for now." She magicked the gloves off my hands and began to attach the Homing Stone to the back of the right one, "The other gem, with the green corners, is a Locator Stone. Fairly simple really, you don't even need magic to make it work. Just have the pony put their forehead against the gem, focus very hard on what it is they want found, and then it will start pointing towards whatever it is they want." She started attaching the Locator Stone to the back of the other glove, "The drawback is that it will only start finding the object once you get within a certain distance of it, so you will need to know the general area at least." Rarity then pulled out two small bags, one filled with orangey-brown gems, the other filled with smaller gems that seemed to be individually wrapped in cloth.

"I get the Locator and Homing Stones," I picked up one of the orange-brown gems, "But what are these?"

"Aside from being utterly fabulous for fall dresses," Rarity began, magically plucking the gemstone from my hand, "They will protect you. They are Shield Stones, or Miner's Spite. They naturally produce a small field that forces away anything that approaches it beyond a certain speed. Miners despise the stuff because it requires them to blast it out of the ground."  
>"Neat." I replied, watching her spread a few of the stones over the rest of the gloves, including the fingers, "Why aren't they used by the Royal Guard or something?" I asked.<p>

"The effect spreads over a very small area," Replied Rarity, scrutinizing the gloves, "While larger ones produce a bigger "shield" one would need a gem the size of Owlicious just to have a barrier that was two or three feet at its widest point." She pulled out two of the cloth covered gems, "These gems are a curiosity," she pulled the cloth off of one, revealing a small, rectangular, blood red gem, "Spark Rocks. If two or more touch, they will constantly produce sparks until separated. Useful, but one must be cautious when transporting them, as they could easily start a fire." Rarity attached these to the inside of the wrist on the gloves, "There, that should do for now. You can find your way back, find what your looking for, and start a fire if you need too." Rarity gave me a tired smile that reminded me of my mothers own smile in a way. I put a hand on my chest as my heart twitched in pain.

Pushing the thought out of my head, I bowed in respect, "Thank you so much Rarity, I promise to repay you for this." I straightened up, "I'm curious though: Why does a dress maker know so much about enchanted stones?"

"Why does a doctor know so much about medicine darling?" She asked, though I could hear the sarcasm, "Simply because he must to do what he does. I must know as much as possible about gems, magic or not, as I use them frequently. If I were to unknowingly use a gem that had dangerous properties on a dress then somepony could be hurt. Naturally I would not want that." She chuckled a bit and levitated my newly blinged out gloves over to me, "How do they feel now?" She asked.

I slipped them on and flexed my hands, "Hmm, a bit heavier, but not uncomfortable." I held my arm up, Shield side out, "Try chucking something at me." I said. Rarity rolled her eyes, but used her magic to toss a metal spool at the glove. I was excited to see the spool fly back, though I was even more excited at the fact that I didn't feel any sort of impact.

I brought my arms down and looked at the gloves, "Okay, that is one of the coolest things I have ever seen ever." I noticed the Homing Stone had a red line pointing from the center out towards, what I assumed was, the center of Ponyville. The Locator Stone wasn't doing anything, though it made sense since it wasn't set to look for anything yet.

Rarity stretched out her legs and neck, "Oh goodness, that was fun," She shook her head a bit and took her glasses off, "What say you and I go out to eat? I'm in no mood to cook and I'm sure you're hungry." I was going to object, but the thought of food caused my stomach to let out a traitorous growl, "That settles that, come along John." Rarity walked out and I followed, glaring at my stomach, though I didn't expect it to apologize. As we walked I answered Rarity's barrage of fashion related questions, though my knowledge on the subject was limited to what I saw day to day, and I knew nothing about high fashion, but she didn't need to know that. It turned out that Rarity had taken me to a small outdoor diner, probably the one Twilight had found herself at during the whole Gala ticket issue. We went up to a table and I was thankful to see an upright log set up to be used as a seat. Props to ponies for being able to stand all day, but I was not designed to do that. I looked around a bit as Rarity daintily looked through menu, an activity that I did not know one could do daintily, but there you go. As I saw ponies I recognized I smiled, then jumped a bit as I felt something poke my lower back. I turned and didn't see anything around the normal height, so I looked down as saw, to my eternal delight, Ruby Pinch. I paused for a moment as my brain shut down from cute overload, then squatted down to see what the little filly was up to. She still had saddlebags on her back, so she must have just gotten out of school.

I gently tapped her on the side, "Hey there little one," I said when she looked up at me, "Whatcha doin'?"

She looked down again, scanning from left to right frantically, "I dropped my homework and I can't find it and if I don't do it Miss Cheerilee will get mad and she'll tell my mom and then she'll get mad and-" I put my gloved hand up as she began to get teary eyed.

"Chill out for a sec, breathe." I said, smiling softly, "Alright, how about I help you find your homework?"

She sniffled a bit and looked up at me, "You'd really help?" she said, smiling brightly.

"I could never say no to a cute face." I chuckled holding up my left hand, "Alright, just put your forehead on this gem and think about your homework real hard, alright?" I said, smiling

as the little filly closed her eyes and pushed against the gem in concentration.

I looked up at Rarity as the filly focused, "Sorry Rarity, do you mind if I help her out a bit?" I asked, concerned that she would be upset.

Rarity giggled a bit, "Applejack was right, you are a big softy," She nodded and smiled, "Alright, you can help her, but I want you back at the Boutique as soon as your done, agreed?"

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Yes Mom." I looked back at Ruby Pinch, "Ready to find your homework?" I asked, noting the little green line on the Locator gem.

Ruby Pinch jumped up and down eagerly, "Ready!" She said.

I quickly lifted her up and placed her in the hood of my new hoodie. She seemed a little scared at first, but quickly became excited again as I started following the green line on my glove.

"So whats your name mister?" Ruby asked as she perched herself atop my head, "I'm Ruby Pinch, but everyone calls me Pinchy."  
>"Well Pinchy," I started, turning a corner, "My name is John and I'm not from around here. Though I guess you could probably see that." The line on the Locator was wide and pulsating, so I assumed I was close, "Alright Pinchy," I said, placing her on the ground, "Your homework is close by, so I'll need you to scan the ground in case I can't see it, okay?" She gave a little salute and went off in the direction I pointed, her adorable face set in determination. We soon found the missing work underneath a bush, thankfully in one piece and without stain.<p>

"So. You seem I happy." I said to the filly embracing my leg, "How about I get you home, yeah?" She nodded and I put her back in my hood, "Alright, think about it real hard for me, okay?" I asked, lifting my hand so she could put her forehead on the gem. After a few seconds, I looked at the gem and, seeing the green line pointing elsewhere, started walking off in the direction it indicated.

Pinchy perched herself atop my head again and hummed happily to herself, homework tucked safely in her saddlebag. I asked her about what her homework was about and she went off on the typical school kid rant. The homework was dumb evidently, but her teacher was nice, and she had some classes she liked and some classes she didn't like. I was more than happy to continue walking and listen to Pinchy talk, taking in the sights as we walked around Ponyville. I got a few odd glances as other ponies saw Pinchy riding in my hood.

"My house is right down here Mr. John," She pointed down the street I had just turned onto, "It's the purple one on the right."

I started walking when I heard, "Ruby Pinch! Just what do you think you're doing!" being shouted from my right, "You get down from there right now!" I turned and saw, to my delight, Berry Punch, the Ponyville overprotective mother.

"Hi Momma!" Pinchy waved enthusiastically, "Hey John! C'mon, I want you to meet my momma!" Pinchy wriggled with excitement as I took her out of my hood and set her down on the ground. She ran off to her mother who picked her up and held her protectively. I was kinda hurt at the hostile expression on Berry's face.

She looked back down at Pinchy, "Are you okay honey?" She asked, frantically stroking Pinchy's mane, "It didn't hurt you did it?" Again with the "it" thing.

Pinchy wiggled out of her mother's death hug, "Geez Momma, I'm okay," She looked over at me and waved for me to come over, "John's my friend! He may look kinda weird," Ow, my pride, "But he's nice and helped me find my homework." Pinchy quickly told Berry of our quest as I walked over.

By the time I had come up to the both of them Berry was looking at me with a kind smile, "Well, Mr. John, I seem to have misjudged you." She bowed her head slightly, "Thank you for helping my daughter find her homework, is there any way I can thank you?" She looking me with a smile.

I tapped my chin and thought, "Well, I only know of two things you could do for me." I said, after a moment of consideration, "First thing you could do is help advertise for me."

"I'm sorry, advertise?" Berry sounded confused, "Advertise what?"

"Well, you can probably tell I'm not from around here..." I began, proceeding to tell her about how I was from a different world and wanted to be a courier as a job in case I was stuck here for a while, "... And that's it really. I don't like relying on people, so I want to support myself."

Berry nodded in understanding, while Pinchy had headed home a few minutes ago, "Fair enough, what was the other thing you had in mind?" She tilted her head and smiled.

"Well," I said, an easy smile on my face, "You could take me out for a drink." I said, chuckling softly. Now I know some of you think I was asking her out on a date, well that's not it. I asked for this because of two things: the first being that I enjoy drinking with others, the second being that I was a Berry Punch fan and had always wondered what it would be like to go drinking with her.

Her eyes widened a bit, "John, are you asking me out? Because I have a daughter as you know and-" I cut her off by lifting my hand.

"Berry, relax," I said, "I'm asking because I enjoy drinking and you seem like a decent pony."

She nodded, "Alright, when will you be free?" She asked.

"How about two days from now?"

"That's fine, where can I find you?"

I shrugged, "I'm kinda rotating places right now. Ask Twilight Sparkle, she'll know where I'm staying for the night."

Berry nodded, "I'll see you then John," she walked by me and bumped her flank against my side, "It was a pleasure to meet you." She winked at me as she walked away. My brain shut down for a bit after that and I'm pretty sure I sorta stood there for a solid five minutes before it started back up. I shook my head and started heading towards the center of town, using the Homing Stone to guide me. Now, I am just plain awful at telling when someone is hitting on me, but I am not blind. A pony had just flirted with me, a fact that caused my inner fanboy to just jizz his britches, but caused my rational brain to scream and rant at me. I groaned inwardly and decided to think about it later as I spotted Rarity's boutique appearing nearby.

I opened the door and saw Rarity hard at work on what was either another hoodie for me, or a simple dress made of cotton. Seeing as it had sleeves, I figured it was probably for me.

"Hey Rarity, I'm back." I said, taking my gloves off and tucking them into one of my many pockets, "Did I miss anything interesting?"

Rarity turned and smiled, "Hello darling, no, nothing really," She put her glasses on top of her horn, "How did your little adventure go?" She asked, handing me a cup of tea, then pouring one for herself.

I spent the next couple of minutes telling her of my epic first quest, "So then Pinchy introduced me to her mom, Berry, and now she and I are going out for drinks the night after next."

The pitch at which Rarity squealed actually made my teeth hurt, "Oh John, deary!" She said, pacing, "There's so much you have to plan! What you'll wear, where you'll go, and goodness, what WILL the two of you talk about?" Rarity began rattling off questions and answers to the questions.

I watched her do this for a minute while I noshed on an apple before I interrupted her, "Rarity," I put a hand on her withers, "Chill. I did her kid a favor so shes paying me back. Since I don;t know much about Ponyville or Equestria, outside of what you guys have done, this will be a good way to get out and start having ponies get used to me. I mean, I'd love to think I was getting home soon, but I realize it may take a while." I shrugged, "Now, since its late, is there anything you wanted to know about me besides fashion?" I sat on the floor and took another bite of apple.

"Well darling, there are a few things, but I was afraid to ask." She settled down next to me.

I shrugged again, "Its fine. Its hard to make me uncomfortable and I like answering questions, so its all good." I replied.

Rarity nodded and tapped her hoof against her chin, "Hmm, well" She began after a moment of thought, "You mentioned you had favorite ponies, correct?" I nodded, "Why are they your favorites? From what I can understand, myself and the others are the main characters of the story, why do you like ponies who hardly, if ever, show up?"

I cocked my eyebrow, detecting a small hint of jealousy, "Fair enough. See, I like Berry Punch because she is just a fun character. Not wild and capable of defying physics, but a good pony with a sweet kid. Octavia and Vinyl have her beat though, and thats just because I love music. I'd play an instrument, but I'm incapable, so I listen and sing a bit." I finished, tossing the apple core into a trash can.

"Incapable? How so?" Rarity asked.

I held my hands up, "Look at the smallest finger on the outside." I said, wiggling my pinkies, "Those are my pinkies and, due to genetic fault, the muscle that moves them doesn't work well, so they jerk instead of moving smoothly. That makes it hard to play quite a lot of instruments, ones I've expressed interest in anyway, since they require the use of every finger." I stretched out, cracking my back slight and sighing happily, "I've gotten used to it though, so instead of playing instruments I learned how to sing a little."

"Would you sing for me?" Rarity asked, her eyes big and pleading and adorable, "I'd love to hear some human music."

I would have said no, but the puppy eyes just did me in, "Fine, fine, I'll sing you a song." I said, rubbing my neck, "Just wait til I'm done to say anything, alright?" She nodded and I began to sing "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker. I was always fond of that song and it was easy enough to sing, especially with my vocal range.

I finished and looked at Rarity with a cocked eyebrow, "Well?"

Rarity gave me a small round of applause, "That was lovely John, simply lovely." She glanced at a clock on the wall, "Its getting late, perhaps one more cup of tea, then off to bed?" She questioned, looking at me with a smile.

I nodded, "That would be nice," I watched her warm up the tea with magic, then pour us each a cup, "Anything else you want to know about my world?" I asked, adding a bit of sugar to my cup.

Rarity paused, then looked outside, "Why do other humans think I'm Sweetie Belle's mother?" She asked quietly.

I would never do a spit take, but I was close, "Umm..." I ran my hand through my hair, "Are you sure you want to know? I'll tell you, but it might be upsetting..." I finished, twiddling my thumbs.

She looked me in the eye, "Yes, I'm sure." She replied with conviction.

I sighed and looked at my reflection in my tea, "Well, here's the thing, none of us, humans I mean, have ever seen your parents. Hell, we've barely heard anything about them, so we figured that you had an estranged relationship. And seeing as you are a blindingly white pony, we figured that could only come from pure breeding: White mom and white dad." I began, going over the genetics idea, "And we all noticed that Sweetie Belle is, well, gray." I gestured vaguely, "See where I'm going with this?"

Rarity, closed her eyes and sipped her tea, "Either my mother cheated with a black or dark gray stallion," Rarity opened her eyes and swirled her tea absently, "Or I did." She looked at me, "What do you think happened John?"

I considered my words before I spoke, "Hmmm, in all honesty," I looked at Rarity with a smile, "I don't care." She raised her eyebrows in surprise, "Rarity, what happens to you or your family is between you and yours. Sweetie Belle is a sweet and talented filly with a good heart and a family that shares those traits. No matter who her mother may be, she's a good kid, that isn't going to change." I smiled softly, "The quality of a person, or pony, is not determined by their family, but by their actions." I finished, drinking the last of my tea.

Rarity laughed softly, "You are an odd sort John." She walked up to me and kissed my cheek, causing me to blush instantly, "But you are sweet." She started walking upstairs, "You're room is the second door on the left. Go to bed when you like, I'll see you in the morning." She vanished up the stairs.

I sat there for a moment, cursing my natural, and apparently literal, animal magnetism. Then I sighed and chuckled, because it wasn't exactly a bad thing. It meant that Rarity liked me at least, and may become a good friend as time went on. I stood up and looked at the gloves and piles of clothes she had made for me. I smirked, thinking of how I would try to pay her back. Another thought came to mind, unbidden but in need of noting. Knowing Twilight she had probably already told Princess Celestia of my existence, which in itself is not a bad thing. What I was concerned about was the fact that I knew so much about Equestria and that she knew so little about me, so I was likely perceived as a threat. The lack of guards swooping in to capture me was reassuring, but that didn't mean she wasn't watching. In a way I hoped I could meet her soon, though I was more excited at the idea of meeting Princess Luna. I can hear the Celestia fans scoffing from here, so hush, I'm a Luna fan, deal with it. That aside, I got the nagging suspicion that I would be meeting Equestrian royalty sooner rather than later. I went upstairs, deciding to cross that bridge when I got to it, as I was tired and wanted to go to bed. I knocked on Rarity's door and said good night, then went to where I was sleeping for the night. The room was nice, considering it was Rarity's house I wasn't surprised, but not opulent. I went straight to the bed and laid down, putting my new gloves on the nightstand beside me. Today I had new clothes made, a date with one of my favorite ponies set, and the start of a possible job. Was I happy to be stuck in Equestria? No. Was I totally miserable? Looking at the last few days, I can't say I was.


	4. Adrenaline

I woke up slowly, enjoying the bed that I was in. Then I decided to get up, smiling at the sight of the new set of clothes Rarity had laid out for me. I put them on after folding my old set and tucking it under my arm. I went downstairs to see Rarity sketching what I assumed were new designs for her dresses. She looked up at me as I walked downstairs and smiled, nodding to a bowl of cereal and fruit on a table nearby. I sat down and ate while she sketched, happily humming to herself. I turned towards the entrance of the boutique when I saw it opening.

In walked Sweetie Belle, a tired but happy smile on her face.

She yawned, "Good morning Sister," She looked over at me, "Good morning Mr. John, how are you?" Again, I had to smile at her proper way of speaking, though living with a pony like Rarity couldn't lead to much else.

"I'm well Sweetie, thanks for askin'," I replied, finishing my food, "Though I'm curious as to who I'm spending the day with today. As far as my mental checklist goes I've yet to meet Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Twilight for the day." I cracked my back, "So where were you yesterday Little Belle?" I asked with a smirk.

She seemed to like the nickname, "I was with Scootaloo and Applebloom. We tried hang gliding from the top of the clubhouse, but it didn't end well." She sounded a bit disappointed, then she shrugged, "Did you want to be with someone in particular today?" She asked, causing Rarity to look at me with curiosity as well.

I tapped my chin for a minute, "Well, either Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash. Because they could help my with my job. Twilight perhaps, since I want to meet with the Princesses." I said casually.

Rarity's eyes widened, "Why would you want to meet the Princesses? Do you have business with them?" She asked incredulously.

I leaned my head back and looked at the ceiling, "I'm a new being here and I want to meet the "gods" of this land. While I try my best to be a nice guy, beneath this lovely exterior," I gestured to myself, "Lies a lot of mental issues, including a lot of unexpressed emotions and unresolved issues. While these only become apparent at times of extreme emotion, they frighten everyone, including myself." I finished, looking at the ceiling again, "... I want to help you guys, ponies I mean. I figure, the sooner I get in the good graces of Princess Celestia and my favorite Princess Luna, the sooner I can begin helping. It may just start with me fetchin things from here and there, but I soon hope to either get home," I waved my hand absently, "By some miracle of science, magic, and dumb luck. Or perhaps I will serve Equestria. I've always been a romantic at heart with the desire to be a knight..." I trailed off and looked outside, cocking my eyebrow at the rainbow colored blur that passed by.

Rarity was about to say something, then looked at the blur that passed by the front of her boutique, "Ah, there's your guardian for the day." She trotted over to the door, and paused for a second, "Actually," She turned to face me, "I have a gift for you John," She pulled out a roll of what appeared to be needles with gems on the heads, "They say that a wise man will retreat to fight another day, so I made these. The head has a Flash Stone on it, self descriptive really. If you should ever find yourself in trouble and you need to run, just throw one of these on the ground and it will emit a flash of light. Take the chance to run and lick your wounds if you need to." She walked over to me and put her hoof on my shoulder, "We may have just met, but you have a good heart and it would be a shame to lose it because of bad luck."

I couldn't help but smile, "Thanks Rarity," I hugged her around her neck, noting the smell of fresh linens that came from her mane, "I promise, I will do my best to not have to use these." I chuckled softly as she batted my arm with her hoof, then stepped outside.

I felt a breeze blow by my head, then heard the telltale scuffling of Rainbow Dash's hooves as she skidded to a halt. I gave her a small round of sarcastic applause, causing her to pout, then smirk as she trotted over to me.

"Hey there Johnny boy," She noticed the gloves I had on, "Nice, gonna show off to the other ponies?" She sneered playfully.

I turned to Rarity, smirked, then turned back to Rainbow Dash, "These gloves were made for more than decoration, dear Rainbow." I went over to an empty barrel and stood by it, "How far do you think I can make this thing fly?"

She went over to the barrel and tapped it with a hoof, "Seems solid, a runt like you probably couldn't make it more than a few feet, if you were lucky." I nodded, pacing around the barrel, pondering it. I was fairly good with angles, so I took a minute to predict my crazy plan. Once I had a more solid idea, solid as gelatin, I got ready. It would be awkward to do it all with back hand strikes, but not impossible.

I took a few steps away, faced the barrel, and took a deep breath. After a moment of concentration, I ran towards the barrel, swinging low and up at a high angle. The barrel flew upwards a good fifteen feet in a near straight line, if only slightly forward. It went forward enough to allow me the one step I needed to twist my whole body, gaining the power from my foot, up my leg, through my torso, then into the hardest, fastest straight punch I could throw. The barrel shot forward like a bullet, surprising me probably as much as it surprised Rainbow Dash. Hell, I think Rarity raised her eyebrows a bit. It flew a good 50 yards before it shattered against a tree, earning me a few disgruntled looks from ponies who were walking nearby. It probably would have gone farther were it not for the oaken obstruction.

Rainbow Dash gaped at me, then the gloves, then at the barrel, "That. Was. AWESOME!" She punched the air, then zoomed towards me, "You gotta tell me how you did that!" She squealed. I could hear the cogs in her head turning as she thought of ways to apply my little trick to one of her stunts. I looked over at Rarity and mouthed a quick thank you before I walked off with Rainbow Dash who was gawking at my gloves.

I held my hand up, flexing my fingers, "Shield Stones. They repel force once it exceeds a certain point, that's what I was told anyway. I figured, the faster and harder it comes towards the stones, the faster and harder it should fly away, right?" I shrugged, "It worked better than I had hoped. Rarity added them to my gloves when I told her about the job I had in mind." I explained my courier business to Rainbow Dash, who seemed mildly impressed with my choice.

"I gotta say, you're tougher than you look," She was hovering beside me and jabbed my shoulder with her hoof, "I gotta ask you somethin' though."

"Okay, shoot." I replied as we strolled down a Ponyville road.

"Why aren't you freaking out more?" She flew in front of me to look m in the eye, causing me to halt my steps, "I mean, you just got moved from your home to another world, but here you are, casually throwin barrels and talking about getting a job." She turned and flicked me with her tail, "It's kinda weird if you ask me."

I sputtered a bit as her prismatic tail hit my mouth, "Bleh," I pulled a hair off my lip, "Ugh, anyway, for a normal person, you would be right. However, not being totally normal, I don't react the same way as others do. When faced with a stressful situation such as this," I gestured to the general area around us, "Normal people would panic and probably make a mess of their pants. I'm odd in the fact that, when in stressful situations, my body and mind become calm. Useful trait sometimes, though it can be difficult at others." I shrugged, "I figure, why freak out? Its not gonna help at all, so I may as well get used to it." I looked around, "So, what did you want to do today?" I asked her, seeing that we were still walking with no obvious goal in mind.

She flew around a bit, hooves behind her head, "Hmmm," She hummed a bit, "I got nothin." She shrugged, "What do you want to do?" She asked, looked at me.

I scratched the back of my head, "Ummmm," I was at a loss, "I dunno. I mean, unless you could set up a meeting with the Princesses or Vinyl Scratch, then I really have nothing else I want to do." I clapped softly, "Oh, or if you could help me find a client for the day so I could start getting known." I looked over at Rainbow Dash who was staring at the sky.

"Well, I can't take you to see the Princesses, and Vinyl is out on tour, so I guess we can just go into town and see what people need." She sighed, sounding bored. We turned back around and started heading back to the center of town.

We walked/hovered in silence for a minute, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier Rainbow Dash," I said, "Y'know, the sexuality thing."

She stopped flying and began walking beside me, "It's no problem. Its kinda true anyway."  
>"Hmmm," I replied, "Wait what?" I paused as her words made sense in my brain.<p>

"Yeah, I like colts and mares," She looked up at me, eyebrow raised in challenge, "That a problem?"

I shook my head, "Hey, do what you do, its not my business." I shrugged, "I'm not a guy to judge a pony based on her preferences."

Rainbow Dash smiled and punched my side, "Good answer." She said, "So, what do you like?"

I cocked my eyebrow, then smirked, "Sorry to burst your bubble, but I only like girls." I replied.

"Hey, its your choice John, I can respect that." She replied, holding a hoof up. I tapped my knuckles against it, trying not to squeal with delight as I bro-hoofed her.

I looked and saw a panicked looking pony pacing around outside of SugarCube Corner, "Isn't that Mrs. Cake?" I asked, nodding towards the distressed looking mare, "She looks upset, lets find out whats wrong, yeah?"I put my hands in my pockets and walked over to the distressed blue pony with Rainbow Dash following close behind me.

I waved and smiled, "Morning Mrs. Cake, what seems to be the problem?" I asked with concern.

"Well-" She paused, "I'm sorry, do I know you?" She seemed surprised and a bit worried that I knew her name.

I shrugged, "Its a long story, but I'm a good guy," I jerked my thumb towards Rainbow Dash, "She can vouch for me." Mrs. Cake looked over at Rainbow Dash who nodded and smiled.

"Well, alright." She said, relaxing a bit, "The thing is, I have a delivery that needs to be done, but Mr. Cake isn't feeling well and I'm busy in the bakery."  
>"What about Pinkie Pie?" I asked, "Seems like something she would be happy to do."<p>

"Normally yes, but she's at the market picking up supplies and won;t be back for another few hours." Mrs. Cake began to pace fretfully, "And by then the cake won't be nearly as good as it could be. I've never disappointed a customer yet, and I didn't plan on it, but as it is I may have to mark my perfect record." She looked upset.

"How about I do it?" I suggested casually, "I mean, it would help you out and get me my good deed for the day," I winked and smiled, "What do you say?"

She pondered it for a second, then nodded, "Alright, wait here for a moment." She said, then went inside, quickly returning with a couple white boxes tied up with string, "Here's the order," She said once she had given then boxes to me, "Make sure it doesn't move around too much or it'll ruin the frosting."

I nodded, then held out my left hand, "Alright, can you just focus hard on the place I need to go? I'm still kinda new to Ponyville, so this should help out." I said, explaining myself.

"Oh, a Locator Stone?" Mrs. Cake seemed impressed, "Alright," She nodded, then focused with her forehead on the gem, "There, that should do it. I think we may be out if it's range though," She pointed with a hoof, "Just head that way until you can get your bearing, okay dear? Once you get the payment, head back here and we'll see what happens from there." She smiled at me and went back inside.

I looked over at Rainbow Dash, who looked rather bored, "Ready to go?" I asked.

"Finally!" She replied, rolling her eyes, "Let's go already." She trotted off, probably being considerate to my lack of flight, in the direction Mrs. Cake had indicated. I jogged up beside her, glancing at the back of my left hand every few seconds.

"Hey John," Rainbow Dash said after a couple minutes of silent walking, "Are ponies like me not common in your world?" She asked.

While I got the gist of what she meant, I decided to joke around a bit, "You mean with blue fur, a rainbow mane and the ability to fly? Yeah, its hard to find those where I'm from." I laughed as I dodged one of her punches.

"You know what I mean." She said, pouting.

I chuckled a bit more, "Yeah, I know," I sighed happily, noting the green line on the stone, "Well, bi-sexuality isn't uncommon where I'm from," I began, following the path the line indicated, "However, it isn't widely accepted due to various reasons." I sighed, not happily this time, "Frankly I fail to see the problem. If it makes someone happy, what does it matter if they're both girls or boys?" I shrugged, "It's a shame really. The good side is that people are becoming more accepting of it, some places even allow those kinds of couples to get married now." I looked over at Rainbow Dash, "Why do you ask?"

She shrugged, "I was curious. You almost made it sound like a bad thing back at the library, so I thought your kind didn't have it." She followed me now, since she couldn't see the stone on the back of my hand, "I don't get why others wouldn't like it though. Here in Ponyville you could chuck a rock and probably hit a pair of mares who're together."

I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand, "Well, its complicated," I said, unsure of how to word it, "See, way back in the past of my people, a book of guidelines was written, and one of the guidelines said that people of similar gender shouldn't be together," I know some of you guys are probably complaining, saying I'm not giving her the whole story, understand that I'm trying to give her the bare bones of it all, since ponies don't really have religion that we know of, "A lot of my kind followed these rules and guidelines, some more fanatically than others. In the current time, there are many who think same-sex couples should be allowed to be together."

"Allowed?" Rainbow Dash sounded confused, "What, are there laws against it?"

"Not exactly," I replied, "Legally, they can live together, sleep together, eat together, the whole nine yards. However, according to these laws, in most places, they can't get married. This stems from people who think that same sex couples are morally wrong." I shrugged, "Again, I think that, if it makes them happy, why outlaw it?" (Please note that these morals do not extend towards drugs. Drugs are bad.)

"Huh, you come from a weird place John." Rainbow Dash said.

"You have no idea."

"How much farther is this place we need to go anyway?" She asked, seemingly bored again.

"Not much fur- Oh wait here it is." I said, coming upon a small house, "Neat." The line on my Stone was pulsating rapidly. I went up and knocked on the door while Rainbow Dash took to the skies, probably to stretch her wings out since I'd kept her grounded for a while. The door opened, revealing a colt with light brown fur and a dark brown mane, and a hourglass cutie mark. I cocked my eyebrow at the most outstanding feature, which was a small red bowtie around his neck.

I held up the boxes, "Delivery from SugarCube Corner." I said with a smile.

"Lovely, give me a second to get the payment I owe you." He replied, turning back inside. I could hear him searching, mumbling to himself, "Lessee, rupees, pounds, neptunian credit..." I raised my eyebrow higher, "Ah, bits, here they are." He came back to the door with a small sack that he casually tossed to me, "That should cover it." It was then that he seemed to notice my unusual appearance, "Oh, what are you doing here?"

I tucked the bag into my pocket, "Dunno, I just woke up here." I put the Locator Stone up to my forehead and focused on SugarCube Corner, "Why do ask?" I said, my eyebrow now threatening to vanish into my hairline.

"Oh! No reason, just a curious pony who like to stick his nose into things," He replied, "You seem rather calm for all this."

"You seem rather calm for meeting a human." I quickly replied.

"Touche. Well, I'll be off, best of luck." He said abruptly, ducking into his house. I stared at the door for a bit, then shrugged and turned around. I heard a sort of screeching noise and faced the house again, seeing nothing different. What bothered me was the nagging idea that something was there, but now it wasn't. I rubbed my head, confused. Was it blue? I tried to think of it when another blue object flew down in front of me, one with rainbow hair.

"You done now?" Rainbow Dash asked, "Great, lets get back to the Corner and get this over with."

I looked up at the cloud she was probably messing with, "What do they feel like? Clouds I mean." I asked, genuinely curious.

"Huh?" She looked up at the cloud, "Umm, soft I guess?" She scoffed, "I dunno, wanna feel for yourself?" Without waiting for my explanation of my lack of magic she went off and brought the cloud down in a rainbow colored blur. I sighed and shrugged, may as well let her see that I couldn't do it. Knowing Rainbow Dash, she would've probably tried to make me walk on a cloud, just see for herself that I couldn't.

I took off a glove and held my hand up. I brought it up to the cloud, fully expecting to have it pass through and get damp. What I was not prepared for was resistance.

My eyes became very wide, and I took off my other glove, proceeding to poke and lean against the cloud. It was like a fluffy wad of memory foam, though my mind was still filled with the thought of 'Holy flying ass crackers I'm touching a cloud.'

I had a thought, which usually does not end well, and tried climbing on top of the cloud. It worked, much to my delight. I sat down and bounced a bit, my smile nearly splitting my face in half.

"This. Is. So. COOL!" I said, rolling around on the Wad of Fluff and Wonder ™.

Rainbow Dash was laughing, "Having fun?" She asked between snorts.

"YES." I replied with gusto, freezing as another thought came to mind, "Oh sweet Goddess," I looked at Rainbow Dash very seriously, "You. You should totally push this could to SugarCube Corner as fast as you can because that would be super freaking awesome."

Rainbow Dash, looked surprised, then smiled with conviction, "Alright bud, but you better hold on tight." She said, getting behind the cloud.

I squeed, then essentially latched myself to the cloud with my hands and feet, after I had made sure the payment and my gloves were safely tucked in my some of my many pockets. What I had expected was something akin to a rollercoaster, fast, hard, but bearable. What I got was a rollercoaster on a cocktail of meth, speed, and a paint palette. I could feel my face stretching as we sped towards the Corner. Well, I assumed it was the corner, we were going so fast I was just doing my best not to pass out. While it was probably a couple of seconds, it felt like minutes or hours as we sped on. All of a sudden we stopped, rather, the cloud and Rainbow Dash stopped. I flopped over and laid on the ground, trying to catch my breath,

Rainbow Dash hovered over me, a concerned look on her face, "Hey, you alright?" she prodded me with her hoof, "D'you need a doctor or something?"

I laughed out loud for a second, "Hot damn!" I sat up and shook y my head, happy to feel the blood rushing to my limbs, "That was fun!" I stood up, wobbled a bit, then found my footing, "Whew, alright, let's find Mrs. Cake, then we can address the fact that my face is drier than a desert during a drought." I wobbled my way into SugarCube Corner.

Mrs. Cake was busy baking some sort of sugary confection, flour scattered all over her person, pony...Whatever, she had patches of flour on her.

She looked up at me when I entered, "Well, that was quick!" She seemed pleased, "Was there any trouble?" She walked around the counter and up towards me.

I shook my head, "Nah, everything was fine. I got back via the Rainbow Express." I jerked my thumb towards Rainbow Dash, "So it was a quick delivery."

Mrs. Cake smiled, "Oh good, and the payment?" I chuckled, not blaming her for being business minded.

I pulled the bag out and handed it to her, "Dunno if its the right amount, but I get the feeling it should be." I said.

Mrs. Cake spilled the bag on the counter and quickly counted the bits, "Hmm, yes, its all here. It seems he even left a tip!" She grabbed five bits and handed(hoofded?) them to me, "Here, for helping me out."

I smiled and happily took them, "Thanks very much Mrs. Cake," I said, pocketing them, "Let me know if you need any help, I'd be more than happy to assist." I turned and headed outside, hearing Mrs. Cake happily humming to herself. I jingled the bits together in my pocket, smiling. My first legitimate pay from a job, small as it was.

Rainbow Dash nudged my shoulder with a smirk, "Heeeyyyy, big man getting his pay," She laughed, "Feelin' tough now, aren't ya?" I laughed along with her, then stretched, smiling to myself.

"So," I began, "What do you want to do now?" I asked her, meandering about.

She sighed, "Bluh, I dunno." She shrugged and hovered upside down, "I didn't really plan anything anyway." She rolled over and looked at me, "Well, you could time me. I need to practice some tricks to impress the Wonderbolts." Her eyes glittered a bit, as they always did when she talked about the Wonderbolts. I shrugged and agreed, following her to an empty field. She told me to time her for speed and give her a score for style for each trick she did. I nodded and sat down, ready to time and score her fairly. She did her things and I timed and scored her, giving her my reasons and opinions on how she could do better. I think she took it well, despite the pouting and insisting I didn't know what I was talking about, but I mark that as her pride. This took up a few hours, by which time she had worked up a healthy sweat, I could tell from the smell. Fun note for anyone reading this, pony sweat isn't unpleasant, it's more like an earthy sort of scent. Anyway, we headed back into town and stopped by, what appeared to be, a pizzeria. To my delight, it was exactly that, though it only had vegan toppings. She ordered some sort of foot-long sub while I settled on two slices of onion and banana pepper pizza.

After happily eating for a few minutes I looked at Rainbow Dash, "Hey, do you know a place that sells peanuts?" I asked. While I was getting a lot of good nutrients on my newly vegan diet, I was concerned about my protein intake and, since they didn't eat meat, I figured some sort of nut and, if I was lucky, tofu would have to do as a substitute.

Rainbow Dash made a face, "Bleh, why would you want those things? They're gross." She took a big chomp of her sub.

I shrugged, "I need nutrients in them that a regular pony diet doesn't provide." I replied throught a mouthful of pizza.

She groaned, "Fiiine, I'm sure we can find a vendor selling some. No pony buys them, so you should be able to grab them cheap." She scarfed down the last of her sub and burped loudly. I did the same with my last bit of pizza, then we stood up and left, exchanging a small brohoof at the complaints of a pony inside.

After a half an hour of searching we found a pony who had a fair sized bag of peanuts on sale. He said that they were fresh, but no pony wanted them, so he was willing to sell me the bag for three bits. I happily met his price and left with my sack of legumes, taking a handful out, then putting the bag over my shoulder. As I munched on a few of them I pondered the sleeping arrangements for tonight. Since I could interact with clouds, a fact that still amazed and excited me, that meant I was probably heading with Rainbow back to her place.

I figured I would voice my queries, "Yo, Rainbow," I said to the pegasus zipping around overhead, "Where am I sleepin' tonight?"

She slowed her flight and hovered next to me, "At my place I guess, since you aren't going to fall through the floor." She looked at the setting sun, "Huh, wait here for a bit, I'll grab a puff of cloud, then I'll take you there." She said, dashing off (hey look I made a pun). I shrugged and leaned back against a tree, tapping the Spark Stones on my wrists together every few seconds to keep myself entertained, careful not to set anything aflame. The little gems spat out a good number of sparks, enough to light a small area around me. I thought about how I could perhaps color the sparks for fun when Rainbow Dash showed up with a cloud big enough for me to sit on. I hopped on and laid flat out on my stomach in order to hold on tightly and reduce drag. Rainbow Dash didn't bolt off this time, but we were still going at a good clip, causing my eyes to water a bit as we ascended. I was glad for the thick material that Rarity used for my hoodie, as the air got colder the farther up we went. I shivered a bit and zipped it up, hoping the cold wouldn't keep me up tonight. It wasn't long until we came up to a large cloud with a series of rounded buildings on top of it. Dash slowed down a bit and put me down in front of what seemed like a cloud apartment complex.

"Alright, home sweet home." She said, opening the "door," "C'mon, I'll show you where my places is." She went inside and I followed, mildly panicking at the thought of falling through the fluffy mass I was now walking on top of. After a few steps I was able to calm down enough to quickly walk up to Rainbow Dash who was smirking at my awkwardness. She led me up a few flights to the fourth floor (do cloud buildings technically have floors?) and opened up a door, revealing her apartment.

I whistled softly, "Nice setup." I said, and it was. I was surprised to see fairly normal furniture arranged tastefully around a living room. The kitchen was furnished nicely, a small bowl of fruit sitting contentedly on a table in the corner.

"Yeah, gotta thank Rarity for that," She replied, walking past me, "She knows a few people in Canterlot that can enchant furniture and stuff so it can stay on top of clouds, so she called in a few favors for me." She hopped up on the couch and sighed happily, "Well, its not much, but I hope you like it." She said, smiling.

I smirked, "Its great, though I gotta say, the building itself leaves a bit to be desired in terms of color."

She giggled, "Yeah, well, clouds only do two colors sadly: White and gray. So you gotta live with what you get." She shrugged and yawned.

I nodded and looked around, not surprised to see the various bits of Wonderbolt Memorabilia, "So, outside of work, the others, and practice, what do you do for fun Dash?" I asked, still feeling up to another hour or two of activity.

Rainbow Dash tapped her chin, "Not much really. Work and practice usually drains me dry, let alone the adventures I have with the others." She shrugged, "Sorry John, I can't think off anything to do. Heck, I only really ever use my apartment for sleeping and breakfast, so I didn't really add much for entertainment."

I plopped down next to her on the couch and put my hands behind my head, "Oh well," I sighed dramatically, "How about you ask me questions?" I said, looking at her and raising an eyebrow.

"Why?" She replied.

"I dunno, I like answering questions." I said, poking the cloud wall behind me.

"Hmmm, alright." She pondered for a second, then smiled devilishly, "You gotta girl waitin for ya back home? Eh?" She poked my shoulder playfully.

I chuckled, "I wish, but no," I replied, "I've got a lot of friends who are girls, but no girlfriend."

She tilted her head, "Whats the difference?"

I groaned inwardly, scolding myself for not rewording that statement, "I'm friends with mares, no marefriend." I stated, fixing my earlier phrasing.

"Ooohh, sounds rough." She said symapthetically.

"Meh, not really." I said, shrugging, "It's been so long that I've sort of gotten used to it." I chuckled softly, "It doesn't help that I can never tell when a girl is flirting with me, so I end up getting friend-zoned each time." I held my hands up, "Oh well."

"I have to say, that sucks." Rainbow Dash replied.

"Meh." I started scratching behind her ears, "I'll live." She looked like she was going to say something, but quickly grew quiet as I continued my scratchings. I know ponies aren't like dogs or cats, but they still seemed to enjoy getting scratched, but so did I, so that might be a universal thing. I smiled as Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and sighed leaning into my hand slightly. I had an idea and figured I'd try it out, since my last couple of ideas had gone well enough.

"Hey Dash, lay out flat, would you?" I asked, standing up. She looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but listened and stretched out on the couch.

"What are you doing?" She asked, seeing me stretching out my hands and fingers.

"Massage." I replied, "My mom did physical therapy for a few years and taught me how to do it." I placed my hands on her back and began kneading firmly, "Just let me know where you want me to work." I said. Again, Rainbow Dash looked like she was about to reply, but was quickly silenced by my hands kneading her muscles. I hummed softly as I worked out the kinks in her shoulders, enjoying myself. I moved downwards, feeling the tense muscles between her wings and pushing down hard to work the knot out. If ponies could purr, I'm sure Dash would be doing it, as her wings moved slightly to make room for me to do my work. This went of for a good hour as I kneaded out her whole back, not bothering to do her legs. Normally I would have, however Dash usually flew, leaving her legs unused, and only then for short walks or cloud kicking, so they didn't require any special attention.

I looked outside and saw that it was rather dark and figured it to be a good time to finish, "Alright, get up," I said, slapping her flank, "You're done for now." I stood up and stretched, happy to see another day pass without incident.

"Hmmm," Rainbow Dash stepped off the couch and stretched, "Well John, if you ever got into the spa business, you could send Aloe and Lotus running." She said, smiling at me, eyes half lidded in relaxation.

"Hmm, nah," I laughed softly, "They'd probably try to hire me first." I yawned and cracked my back, "So, I'm kipping on the couch?" I asked, pointing at it with my thumb.

She shook her head, "Nah, you and I are sharing my bed." She giggled at my surprised face, "Relax, it's big enough for the two of us and then some, so c'mon." She waved me towards another room she was walking in to.

Now, for those of you expecting some sort of raunchy sex scene, too bad. For those of you now accusing me of being gay because I was sharing a bed with a girl and not having sex with her, I would like to point out two things. One: She's a pony and that would be wrong on so many levels. Two: Sometimes it's just nice to share a bed with someone, and if you haven't done it I strongly recommend you do so.

I took off my shoes and hoodie, putting them in a neat pile next to her bed, which was more of a large futon, and laid down under the sheets she had. I'm more a fan of firm beds, but I was laying on top of a cloud, literally.

"G'night John, I'll see you when you get up. Or when I get up, either way." She yawned and gave me a quick hug and closed her eyes.

"Night Dash, thanks." I replied, smiling tiredly. I noticed her mane smelled like Fruit Roll-Ups as I settled myself on the cloud bed. Today wasn't as busy as the others, but it was still nice. I closed my eyes and went to sleep with a contented smile on my face.


	5. Challenge

I woke up to find Rainbow Dash snuggled to my chest, a light snore coming from her nose. I chuckled softly and quietly rolled out of bed, pulling on my pants and hoodie. I wandered over to Dash's kitchen and quickly scrounged up some milk and granola in a bowl, eating it while quietly thinking to myself. Through a quick process of elimination I guessed that I'd be spending the day with either Pinkie Pie or Spike, seeing as Twilight was more than likely busy with research and whatever else she was up to. I shrugged and munched on my granola in a state of slightly sleepy peace, turning my head towards the sleepy looking pegasus walking out of the bedroom. I nodded towards the granola I had left out and continued looking outside, admiring the Cloudsdale morning.

I heard Rainbow Dash crunching a bowl of granola beside me and looked down, "Mornin'." I said.

"Mmph." Grunted Dash, burying her face into her bowl and eating.

"My thoughts exactly." I replied, finishing off my bowl and putting it in her kitchen.

I heard a loud burp and turned to a satisfied looking Dash, "Ahhh, thats better." She stretched and cracked various limbs, "So, Pinkie Pie should be here in an hour or two to pick you up," Logic wins again, "You mind grabbin the mail? I'm gonna wash the bowl out." Dash gestured to the window I was looking out of earlier, "It should be here soon enough."

I cocked my eyebrow, "This early?" She nodded and I shrugged, "Alright, sure." I didn't bother to question why the mail would be delivered to the window. I opened the window and leaned outside, taking in a deep breath of the crisp air. I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and leaned out of the window a bit to try and catch a glimpse of what it was. I then felt a tap on the top of my head and looked up, meeting the wonky eyes of mail-pegasus, Ditzy Doo a.k.a. Derpy Whooves.

I held my hand up, "Mornin' Ditzy." I said.

She looked at me for a second, then smiled, "Mornin'!" She said brightly, then handed me several letters, a magazine, and a large bundle wrapped in brown paper, "Sign here please." She held out a clipboard and a quill, which I used to sign on the line she pointed to (Can ponies technically point?), "Have a nice day!" She said, flying off.

I waved at her retreating form, then perused through the mail, as was my habit, "Hey Dash!" I said loudly, "Your new edition of PlayPony came in!" I walked into the kitchen and put the magazine on the counter, along with the letters.

"Oh, neat," She flipped through a few pages before putting it back down, "Means I'll have reading material for tonight." She said casually.

I chuckled, "Dash, you're awesome," I looked at the bundle, raising my eyebrow at the sight of my name, "Huh, odd..." I tore off the brown paper to find a backpack filled with clothes, "Ah,, Rarity," I said with a soft smile, "Thanks." Pinned to the bag was a note.

'Dear John,

I finished these early and thought you would need them, since you said you had to change everyday. I hope you like the bag, I thought it would be helpful to carry your clothes from house to house.

Sincerely,

Rarity'

I pulled out a fresh set of clothes, sans pants, since the jeans I was wearing were still clean and would probably be good for another day or two. I pulled off my current hoodie and folded it, then my shirt, to which I did the same.

I was about to pull on my new shirt when Dash poked my shoulder, "Hey, is that your cutie mark?" She asked, poking me again.

I looked down at her pokes and chuckled, "Nah, humans don;t get cutie marks," I smiled, "That, dear Dash, is a tattoo." I said, looking at it. I'd had it for a so long that I had forgotten about it, only ever noticing it when others pointed it out, "It's basically ink that was injected into my skin."

Dash tilted her head and grimaced a bit, "Sounds painful." She said, "Anyway, you don't have a cutie mark?" She seemed puzzled, "Then how do you know what your true calling is?"

I pulled on the new sanguine colored hoodie over my white shirt, "We don't," I started getting into a new pair of boxers, "We just have to try and find something that lets us live a good life and do it." I shrugged as I pulled my pants back up, "And yeah, it was painful," I smirked, "They inject the ink by having a needle stab into you a few thousand times." I nearly laughed out loud as Dash turned a shade of green, "It's not as bad as it sounds." I reassured her.

She shook her head, "Either way, it doesn't sound like something I'll be doing anytime soon." Dash nudged my with her flank and gestured towards the door, "C'mon, we have to meet Pinkie somewhere else. She can't fly her balloon near residential areas, so we're meeting her in a clearing nearby." She trotted out the door and I quickly followed, shrugging the bag from Rarity onto my shoulders. Dash was hovering outside the building, quickly zipping away as she saw me exiting, eager as ever to fly. She flew above, while I ran on the cloud beneath her, looking up every few seconds to make sure I didn't lose her. I passed a number of cloud buildings, each pretty much the same as the last, occasionally having a different style of architecture. Eventually the suburban style cloud homes gave way to a large empty cloud field, which I promptly sat down on, panting heavily.

"I gotta run more..." I muttered to myself, wiping the sweat off my brow. I would've said that, since I was so high up, that the air was thin, but I had grown accustomed to science taking a backseat in this world. Dash was still flitting about up in the air, thoroughly enjoying herself as she did tricks as speeds that would have probably given me whiplash. I sat and watched her for a bit, then let myself fall into the abyss that was my mind. Thoughts flitted through my head as I stared without actually looking, mostly thoughts about what I would do today and how I should try to apologize to Pinkie Pie. She was hurt the most by what I had said, this much I could tell, and I felt bad about it. My thoughts drifted to other things, like swords, job possibilities, other things that I could possibly create, and general nonsense.

"Hey John." I blinked and returned to reality, "Pinkie's pullin in, c'mon." Dash said, walking towards a growing bulge in the clouds. Soon the bulge broke, revealing the pink hot air balloon and similarly pink pony riding in the basket underneath.

"Hi Dashie, hi Johnny!" Pinkie waved hard enough to cause the basket to wiggle, "Oh my gosh, how are you standing on clouds?" She asked, seeing me standing on the fluffy mass, "Are you magic? Oh! Can you pull a rabbit out of a hat, could you pull Gummy out of a hat?" Pinkie started going off on a tangent, so I placed my bag in the basket.

I turned to Dash and gave her a hug, "Thanks for lettin me stay for the night." Pinkie was still going on behind me, "I'll see you later?" I asked Dash, smiling.

She nodded, "You bet John." She flew off, waving behind her as she quickly turned into a prismatic speck. I waved and turned back to Pinkie who seemed quite content to hop around in the basket, humming to herself.

I hopped in, "So," I said, stretching my arms up high, "What's on our agenda for today?" I asked, leaning casually against the basket.

She gave me a huge smile and giggled, "It's a surprise!" She said as she started the process of lowering the balloon. I sat quietly as Pinkie began rattling off things about cakes and parties and Gummy. I smirked as she bounced about the basket, smiling all the while.

I frowned slightly, "Hey Pinkie," The pink mare froze in midair and looked at me with big eyes, "I wanted to say I was sorry, about the whole cupcake thing." I smiled softly, "I know you probably forgot or forgave me already, but I'm apologizing anyway. Its the principal of the thing, y'know?" I chuckled and rubbed the back of my head.

Pinkie patted my head, "Silly, its fine." She handed me a cupcake, "But it's nice of you anyway." She said, turning back to the balloon.

I looked at the pastry, "Where were you keeping this?" I asked.

"We're here!" She said, skillfully avoiding my question. I looked around and saw that we were, indeed, atop SugarCube Corner. I cocked my eyebrow, as the trip should have taken a while longer, and I was going to ask Pinkie how she got us here so quickly when I saw her hopping away towards a flight of stairs the led behind the bakery. I sighed and chalked it up to her inexplicable reality bending abilities, quickly grabbing my bag and following her down.

I went around to the front and walked in, looking for Pinkie Pie. Sadly, I couldn't see her, though I was sure she'd turn up again somewhere else, given her nature. I did see Mrs. Cake, however, and I walked over to her as she put some pastries on a shelf.

I held my hand up, "Mornin' Mrs. Cake," I said with a smile, "Remember me?"

She looked up and smiled, "Well, well, if it isn't my little delivery assistant." She nodded in greeting, "It's lovely to see you again, what brings you here?" She asked as she continued to put away cookies and cakes.

I shrugged, "Pinkie has ownership of me today, so she brought me here." I looked around, "Though I seem to have misplaced her." As if on cue, I saw a familiar pink curl bob above the counter, then make its way towards Mrs. Cake. I cocked my eyebrow and watched the pink curl as it moved, stopping a few inches away from Mrs. Cake. She looked down, then at me, then down again, ducking her head, the top of her hair also sticking out above the counter. I watched the two hair-dos bob back and forth a bit, hearing whispers but not words. After a few moments the pink curl zipped away and Mrs. Cake resurfaced, a smile on her face.

She pulled out a sack from behind the counter and brought it around, "Well John," She put the bag in front of me, "Seeing as Pinkie is going to be busy helping us out with a large order, perhaps you could bring this to Zecora? It's her monthly delivery and Mr. Cake is still feeling a little off, so I was hoping you'd be so kind as to deliver it in his stead." She smiled, "Of course I'll compensate you for the trouble, will thirty bits be okay?" She asked.

I nodded, "That fine," I picked up the bag, "Though I have to ask, who's the order for?" I raised my eyebrow slyly.

"A couple in Canterlot, their child is having a birthday and they have money to throw around, so they asked us to make it," She replied smoothly, "They'll be sending a pegasus to pick it up when we're done." Damn, she covered her bases.

I shrugged and held out the Locator Stone, "Alright, is Zecora's place terribly far?" I asked as Mrs. Cake pressed her forehead against the stone.

"It's a good hour an a half walk there, but it's not a hard road." She led me outside and pointed towards the Everfree Forest, "There's a small path to her house." She looked at me, "Animals tend to avoid it since Zecora put something on it to keep them away, so you should be fine." She nudged my back with her head, "Now then, on your way." She said, quickly shutting the door.

I stood there for a second, "Hmmm, methinks something is afoot." I said to no one in particular. I sighed, then shrugged the sack onto my shoulder, beginning my walk to Zecora's. It took a little while before I was officially outside of Ponyville limits and was surrounded by rolling hills. I took a deep breath and exhaled with a smile, enjoying the clean air. It was then that I heard a faint buzzing sound, growing louder as the seconds passed. I turned around and saw Scootaloo buzzing up the path on her scooter, causing me to smile.

I waved, "Hey Scootaloo!" I said, causing her to look at me, then buzz her way over.

She hopped off her scooter and looked up at me, "Hey, you're that thing I saw at Applejack's," She looked at the sack on my shoulder, "Whats that?" She asked, her childlike curiousity getting the better of her.

I shrugged, "Dunno, Mrs. Cake told me to bring it to Zecora's place." I looked around for the other two Crusaders, "Hey, wheres Sweetie Belle and Applebloom?" I asked, unaccustomed to seeing Scoots by herself.

She pawed at the ground and pouted, "Their helpin' their sisters with chores 'n' stuff." She said, sounding slightly upset.

Being weak to sad, cute things, I got an idea, "Say, how about you come with me?" I proposed, "It's a long walk and I'd love the company." I smiled at the young pegasus.

She bounced with a smile, "Really?" She exclaimed, then quickly tried to act casual, "I mean, yeah, sure, I don't mind." I chuckled a bit as she tried to play it cool.

"Alright," I put the sack down, "Up you go then!"

"What?" She replied as I quickly lifted her and placed her in my hood, "Hey, my scooter!" She reached a short leg towards her toy.

I lifted it, pleased to see that it folded, then handed it to her, "Here," I reached behind my head and opened the backpack Rarity had made for me, "Tuck it in here for now." She put it away, I grabbed the sack, and off we went towards the Everfree Forest. I could feel Scootaloo wiggling happily as we set off, making me smile. I was never a fan of Scootabuse and knowing that I had helped cheer her up made me feel good.

"So, where's your cutie mark?" Scootaloo asked, settling her head on my unoccupied shoulder as she sat in my hood.

I shrugged, "Don't have one." I replied, "None of my kind do."

I could hear her eyes widen, "What? You mean your all blank flanks?"

I shook my head, "Not exactly, we just never get cutie marks. We can get tattoos, but that isn't the same thing." I told the young filly.

"What's a tattoo?" She asked innocently.

"Here, look at mine." I pulled the collar of my shirt over to show her. I felt her scrabble over, then prop herself up to look at it.

"Woah, that's so cool!" She poked at it a bit, "So it doesn't come off?"  
>I shook my head again, "Nope, its pretty permanent."<p>

She looked at me with wide eyes, "Could I get one?" She sounded excited, probably thinking it she could use it to make a cutie mark.

I smirked, "Do you want needles covered in ink to pierce you skin hundreds of thousands of times for what could be hours?" I asked sarcastically.

Her ears drooped, "Um, no, no I don't." She sounded a bit sad.

I sighed and smirked, "Relax Scoots, you'll find your mark in time." I patted her head, "Wanna know what it means?" I asked, hoping to perk the pegasus up.

"Sure." She sighed, but her ears perked up a bit.

I smiled and continued walking, "It's the symbol of the Triple Goddess. It symbolizes the phases of the moon," Her ears perked up further, "In a way, it also symbolizes the three stages that the Goddess goes through every year. She starts as the Maiden, young, fresh, new. She then becomes the Matron, though others would call her the Mother as this stage, wise and warm. She finished as the Crone, old and cold, only to start over again." I adjusted the sack on my shoulder, "Her phases also correspond with the time of the year."

"Really?" Scootaloo said, sounding interested, "How?"

"Well, the Maiden symbolizes Spring and early summer, while the Matron is late summer and early fall. The Crone is late fall through Winter, then it starts over again." I explained.

"Wow, neat." She looked at it again, "Whats the star mean?" She asked.

"That, my dear Scoots, is a pentagram." I said, "Where I'm from it's a symbol of magic and each tip symbolizes a different element." I tapped the bottom two points, "The bottom two stand for Water and Earth," I pointed to the middle two points, "The ones in the middle stand for Wind and Fire."

"Whats the top point mean?" She asked, settling her head on my shoulder again.

"That's the most important one, it stands for Spirit or Soul," I replied, glancing at the Locator Stone, seeing a weak green line pointing down the path.

Scootaloo was quiet for a few minutes, "Hey John?"

"'Sup?"

"You said that your thingy represented the moon, right?"

"Yep."  
>"Does that mean you'd pray to Princess Luna if you were a pony?"<p>

The question made me quiet for a second, "Yeah, yeah it would." I replied after a moment of thought, "Though I would probably do that regardless."

"Why?"

"A political answer would be that I don't think any sort of being could rule for a thousand years by itself without something bad happening." I said.

"Whats your not political answer?" For a filly this kid was sharp.

"...I guess I've always been more of a night owl." I looked at the trees we were passing, "I've found solace in the night, as well as inspiration." I chuckled softly, "I just prefer the night more than the day." I smiled at nothing in particular.

"Hnnn..." Scootaloo hummed quietly to herself. We didn't talk much after that, but it was a comfortable silence. I guess she fell asleep because I could hear her snoring softly behind my head, making me smile. I walked for a while, pondering little things to keep my mind busy, when Zecora's house cam into sight. I noted this, but was still kinda lost in thought, which probably explains the next thing that happened.

The rustling coming from the bushes didn't register in my mind until something leaped out and tore off my hood with Scootaloo inside of it. I dropped the sack I was carrying and began chasing the shadow, placing the Locator Stone against my forehead and mentally screaming 'SCOOTALOO!' focusing on the young pony's image in my head. I knew I wasn't fast enough to keep up with whatever it was that grabbed her, but I could catch it if it stopped. The chase went on for a while and I quickly lost my breath as I dodged around trees and branches. I stopped and looked at the stone, panting heavily, noting the line was pointing steadily in one direction. I prayed that meant the thing had stopped and wasn't expecting me. I quickly ran in the indicated direction, silently hoping that Scootaloo was okay.

I found a small cluster of bushes and crawled through, peeking out the other side. I saw Scootaloo, still wrapped in my hood, but she wasn't moving. I gritted my teeth hard and looked for the perpetrator, finding it walking nearby. It was a cockatrice, chicken head, lizard body, and petrifying gaze, all bundled together. I growled, deep in the back of my throat as years of unexpressed rage began to flood through my veins. Remember when I roared at the CMC a couple days ago? That was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.

I jumped out and pinned the thing down with my knee, grabbing it neck with one hand. The thing began to struggle and tried to fix its gaze on my eyes. I only had three thoughts running through my mind: One, I couldn't look this thing in the eyes. Two, this bastard hurt Scootaloo. Three, because of what it did, I would make it suffer.

I quickly brought my free fist down between its eyes a few times, only satisfied only it had started bleeding, effectively taking out it's most dangerous feature. I felt its one its claws tear through my pants and leave three long gashes in my thigh as it's tail beat hard against my back. I couldn't feel the injuries as adrenaline and savagery coursed through me. I began to pummel its torso, my fist slamming into the same spot over and over again until I heard a loud cracking noise. The cockatrice started screaming then, or whatever the cockatrice equivalent of screaming was, and I smiled a cruel, primal smile. I don't know how long I I went on breaking this things bones, but I was thorough, breaking its wings, legs and the rest of its ribs. I stood up, chest heaving, my face covered in blood, looking down at the broken pile that was weakly clucking at my feet.

I knelt next to its head, "May the gods have mercy on you," I snarled, drawing my fist back one last time, "Because I won't." I roared and brought my fist down as hard as I could towards the things face when a staff pushed my fist to the side, causing me to punch a hole in the ground next to it's head.

I quickly turned my head to find who stopped me, meeting the stern eyes of Zecora, "Why'd you stop me!" I snarled, my voice barely discernible from a growl.

She gave me a disapproving look, "I stopped you from a grave mistake. That creature's life is not yours to take." She replied.

"It hurt Scootaloo!" I shouted, squeezing the cockatrice's neck, "It deserves to suffer!" I growled, lifting my fist again.

I felt a hoof on my shoulder, "The pony has faced no harm, she's merely passed out from alarm." Zecora said in a soothing voice.

I looked at Zecora with wide eyes, "You're sure?" I asked, feeling all the tension and rage leave my body when she nodded, "Oh Goddess be praised." I said softly, dropping my fist.

Zecora gave me a soft smile, "Come, we will take her to my home, then you and I can speak alone." She said, picking up my hood and Scootaloo with her teeth.

I nodded, then looked down at the cockatrice, "You got lucky," I growled at it, leaning close, "But if I hear so much as a whisper about this kind of thing, I will hunt down you, and every single one of your kind until you're nothing but a memory!" I dropped it and let it drag itself away before I turned and followed Zecora back to her house. We got back to the path I was walking on earlier and she stopped by the sack I had dropped when I began my chase. I nodded and picked it up, then continued to follow her towards her home.

She opened the door and let me in, her eyes widening as she saw the gashes in my leg. I put the sack down near her cauldron, then limping into a chair, groaning as the pain began to settle in.

Zecora tucked Scootaloo into a small bed and turned to look at me, concern in her eyes as she saw the various wounds on my body, "You've been hurt, that is plain to see. I'd like to help, if you'd let me?" she asked.

I nodded and began to take off my pants, shirt and hoody, wincing as I did so, "It'd be appreciated, thanks Zecora." I replied, taking inventory of my injuries. It seemed I was covered in scratches and small bruises, had three large gashes in my thigh, and a back covered in bruises. While I couldn't see my back, I could certainly feel the bruises covering it, wincing at small movements.

Zecora grabbed some herbs and placed them into a mortar bowl, using a pestle to grind them up, "A creature like you I've not seen before. Please tell me, what brought you to my door?" She asked as she mixed and ground the herbs.

I sighed and found a position that was semi comfortable for me, "Ow, well, through some sort of twist of fate, I ended up here in Equestria. I was gonna spend the day with Pinkie Pie," I winced again as a muscle twitched, "Ow, and she vanished, so I started talking to Mrs. Cake and she asked me to deliver your supplies for the month, offered me some pay too." I shrugged, regretting it instantly, "I ran into Scootaloo when I was headed here and offered to take her along for the fun, though now I was I hadn't." I said softly, still thankful that she hadn't been hurt.

"Wishes do no good for you or me," Zecora said grabbing the bowl and placing it next to me, "It is what one does that matters, you see."

I nodded, hissing slightly as she began to spread the herbal mush on my wounds. The pressure stung a bit, but the salve quickly went to work and soothed my ails.

Zecora looked at my tattoo, then went back to spreading the salve, "That is a quite a mark you seem to bear," She spread some salve on the three large scratches on my thigh, then bound it with a strip of cloth. "May I ask as to how it got there?"

I chuckled softly and explained the process, "Ah, my kind have something similar you see, so I was curious as to how yours came to be." She explained, spreading the herbs over my back.I nodded, then looked over at Scootaloo, who seemed to be waking up.

She sat up and blinked a few times, "Mmm... what happened?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

I got up and limped over to her, "Hey Scoots, you feelin okay?" I asked softly, smiling.

She nodded, then looked at me, her eyes widening, "What happened to you?" She asked, seeing the blood on my face and the various splotches of greenish-brown salve on my person.

I rubbed my neck, "Umm, yeah," I replied, "Well, a cockatrice came by and snatched you, so chased after it and," I shrugged and gestured to the blood on my face, "I beat it up."  
>She looked at me with even wider eyes, "You're hurt though..." She began, but I put a hand on her head.<p>

"Hey, I'm fine and you're safe, so lets leave it at that, alright?" I said, ruffling her hair.

She nodded, then hugged my waist, "Thanks." she said softly, hugging me tight.

I smiled softly and hugged her gently, "Anytime Scoots." I said softly, then turned to Zecora, "Thanks for the help Zecora, but I'm taking her back to town, then laying down for the day."

Zecora smiled and nodded, "I understand, here take this," She handed me a long staff, "To help you walk, and see me again if your pain persists."

I nodded and thanked her, then handed Scootaloo her scooter, "Here, my hood tore, so you'll have to buzz along beside me." She nodded, then waved goodbye to Zecora as we went through the door.

It was a quiet trip back to Ponyville as I used the staff Zecora gave me to support my bad side while Scootaloo quietly buzzed along beside me. I didn't really hurt so much as I was sore all over, so I was glad that our trip back, quiet as it was, was uneventful. When we exited the forest Scootaloo hugged me again and zipped off to wherever she was headed, while I headed back towards SugarCube Corner. I looked down at my clothes, frowning slightly at the blood spatters all over me, along with many small nicks and tears in my hoodie. My gloves remained pristine, in an annoying way, while the rest of me was spattered with dark red spots. I would've felt guilty about what I had done, but I feel the cause was justified, so I shrugged it off and went on. I got to the Corner, noting the dark windows with a raised eyebrow. I put my hand on the door, took a deep breath, and pushed it open, mentally preparing myself for whatever may come.

It was dark for a moment, then the whole place lit up, "SURPRISE!" shouted many voices in unison. While not unexpected, it still caught me off guard, "Oh my GOSH! You were totally surprised, but that the point cause its a surprise party!" Said Pinkie Pie who had run up to me, "I'm so glad you went out on that errand for Mrs. Cake cause I needed you out of the house-"

"Pinkie." I said, trying to get a word in.

"And I couldn't just leave outside cause that would be mean-"

"Pinkie Pie."

"But then you went out and I was able to set up this super duper special "Welcome to Ponyville" surprise party for you!"

"PINKIE PIE." I said loudly, firmly placing my free hand over her mouth, not surprised to see her still trying to talk.

It was probably at that time that all the ponies in the room took notice of how I looked, considering they all back away slightly. I saw the rest of the Mane 6 come up, but they too kept their distance, Applejack pulling Pinkie away from me slowly.

Everyone stared at me for a moment before Twilight finally spoke up, "John," she asked, slight fear in her voice, "Whats all over you?"

I looked at my arms, then back at her, my eyes cold, "Blood." I said bluntly.

I saw a few ponies turn pale, "Is it yours?" Twilight asked, her voice quavering.

"No." I replied, closing my eyes.

It was then that Applejack stepped forward, "John," She came right up to me, "What in Celestia's name happened?" She sounded a little desperate.

I looked at her, then looked away and walked towards a chair, not caring about how other ponies parted in front of me, and sat down, "It's cockatrice blood, so you can relax a bit." I said, groaning slightly as I sat, "And there's a reason I'm covered in it." I told them all the story just as I told it to you who may be reading this, up to the point where I re-entered Ponyville, "Then I cam here." I finished, backpack now resting beside me and gloves in my pocket, "So yeah, that's what happened." During the telling of my tale I noticed some ponies leave, bearing a distinct shade of green. The ones that stayed were giving me looks of understanding, pity, disgust and admiration. I had also noticed, with no small degree of sadness, that Fluttershy had left without even looking at me.

Dash was flying around my head, "Aw man, I wish I had been there, I woulda been like BAM! And SWOOSH!" She was miming her actions, not really paying much attention to what was around her.

Applejack put a hoof on my arm, "Ya did the right thing sugar." She said softly before heading over to the snack table.

Rarity came up next, her face filled with concern, "Well, I'm glad I made those for you now," She said, her voice strained, nodding to the gloves in my pocket, "Just..." She threw her forelegs around my neck and I could feel her shaking a bit, "John, don't do anything so reckless ever again! You're far too sweet to do things like that." She pulled away and went off, but not before I could see that her eyes were a little teary.

I looked around and saw Twilight talking to Spike, who was holding a quill and parchment. I stood and walked over to them, getting there just as Spike sent the letter in a burst of green fire, "Hey," I said, causing Twilight jump a bit and turn around, "Tellin the Princess what I did, yeah?" I asked rhetorically.

She rubbed her head awkwardly, "Umm, well, kinda maybe?" She gave a weak smile.

I chuckled softly, "Chill Twilight, I understand why you did what you did, and I can respect that." I looked her in the eye, "I'd like to meet them tomorrow." I said.

"Who?" She asked, eyes wide.

"The Princesses, I want to meet them tomorrow." I said in a tone that didn't leave room for an argument.

Twilight shuffled around for a bit "Yea-buh-meh," She squeaked and sighed, "Alright, fine, I'll take you tomorrow." She came up to me and pout a hoof to my chest, "But you have to behave! Princess Celestia is cautious about you, and she'll be even more on edge when she finished the letter I sent." Twilight looked like she was about to have a panic attack.

I shrugged, "Frankly, with all due respect, I'm more likely to listen to Princess Luna than Celestia." Twilight's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head, "Sorry Twilight, but I'm more of a night person." I walked away as she verbally floundered about, waving to Pinkie Pie as she grabbed me and dragged me away.

While I would love to document what exactly happened during the party, I'm not totally sure of what occurred myself. I had vague recollections of party games, drinks, and cakes that defied my concepts of physics. Somehow or another I was able to escape the Party Singularity ™ that Pinkie had created. I stepped outside and breathed in the cool night air. Yes, night air. Somehow or another, hours had passed by while I was inside. I stretched out my arms and legs, happy to get out of the crowd.

"Hey there stranger," Said a voice beside me, "We still on for our date?" I looked down to see Berry Punch smiling up at me.

I chuckled softly, "Sorry about missing that last night," I said, "I was kinda up in Cloudsdale."

She smiled and nudged my side, "So I heard, so I'll let it pass for now." She walked forward and looked back at me, "C'mon, I'll take you to my favorite little hole in the wall." I nodded and scratched out a quick message in the dirt for Pinkie Pie, explaining that I was out with Berry and should be back later that night, then I quickly caught up with Berry.

She looked glanced at me when I got up beside her, "So, a cockatrice, eh?" She said with a smirk, "Takes a brave sort to face one of those." She commented.

I chuckled, "Nah, I'm not brave, just..." I paused as I pondered the right word, "Instinctive. I felt a need to protect Scoots and followed that feeling, then the animal in me took over." I shrugged and smiled wide, revealing my long and sharp canines (natural as well, during the whole Vampire Love thing girls drooled over my teeth).

Berry raised her eyebrow slightly, "My my," she smirked, "And if I wanted to meet this animal?"

I smirked, "Get me to act on my most basic instincts." I laughed softly, "Or get me to fight again."

She giggled softly and gestured to a door ahead, "Here we are, The Night Mare." She said, walking in.

I looked up at the sign, a pony resting inside a crescent moon, "Slick." I mumbled before following Berry inside. While the outside of the place was made of worn brick and looked rather ratty, the inside was luxurious. The bar was stocked with what looked like absolutely everything, there were low tables surrounded by soft-looking pillows, the walls were adorned with soft-pink silk curtains, and it was all lit by dim red lights. I whistled softly and walked up to the bar, taking a seat next to Berry as a red haired and blue maned pony with a margarita glass cutie came up to the two of us.

"Berry, a pleasure to see you as always," He said with a smile,then he turned to look at me, his smile faltering for just a second, "Who's your friend?" He asked.

Berry chuckled softly, "This is John, put anything he orders on my tab," She said, "He just took down a cockatrice with his fists, so give him what he asks for."

I smirked as the bartender's eyes went wide and his smile dropped, "... I see, alright." He pulled out a menu, "Would you like to peruse our menu?"

I held up my hand, "No thanks, just some honeyed apple cider, and give it some extra honey and kick, yeah?" I said smiling as he took Berry's order and left.

Berry turned and looked at me, "Honeyed apple cider, eh? I would've thought a tough guy like you would prefer strong drinks." She said, smiling playfully.

I laughed softly, "Nah, I like me some strong drinks, but only after something sweet." I shrugged, "I've got a sweet tooth and a spicy palette, so I can't help myself sometimes."

Berry laughed softly, "So I guess Pinkie Pie's party was right up your alley then?"

I smirked, "You'd think so, but that mare tried to shove so much sugar in my face, I'm surprised my teeth didn't run in fear." I laughed.

Berry snorted and covered her mouth, "You're funny, y'know that? She said.

I shrugged and smiled, "I've been told that a few times." I replied.

The bartender came back and placed our drinks in front of us, "Double Honeyed Cider with a kick for the cockatrice pummeler," He put a large glass filled with a golden-brown liquid in front of me, "And a Manehatten Custom for the lady." He put down a tall, thin glass with red, green, and blue layered fluid inside it.

I cocked my eyebrow, "Ok, what is that," I pointed at her drink, "And how many places is it legal in?"

She laughed, "It's unique to this bar," She said, wiping a tear from her eye, "And it was only added to the list after I'd ordered the mixture so many times." She took a sip and shivered, a happy smile on her face, "Ahhh, that's good." She tapped the rim of the glass with a hoof," It's actually pretty clever, the top is weak, the middle is stronger, and the last layer is likely to knock you out," She took another sip, "If you aren't me of course."

I chuckled, "You are a marvel Ms. Punch, a simple marvel." I smiled and took a long draw from my glass, enjoying the warm ball growing in my belly, "Ahh, that's the good stuff." I said, smiling.

The night went on late, Berry continued to drink her alcoholic abomination and I worked my way up to tequila shots, water, and my peanuts. She asked questions about my world and I asked about her life and how it was raising Pinchy. AS the night went on and my speech grew to a comfortable slur, I grew more open, as did she.

"Sho yah, I-I..." I paused and tapped my chin, "I don't remember what I was talkin about..." I laughed and leaned my back against the bar, "Prolly meansh I should shtop." I smirked at Berry who was looking at me and doing her best not to burst out laughing.

She failed, but I wasn't in a mood to be offended, "Oh dear, sorry," She wiped her eyes, "You're a good guy, John, you know that?" She shoved me playfully, nearly resulting in my falling off the pillow.

I smiled, "Its a part of my charm Berry." I said, slowly standing up, "On that note, I think you and I should head out. I've got a meeting with the Princesshesh tomorrow and a hangover would not leave a wonderful impresshion." She nodded and got up, leaving a few bits on the counter while I grabbed the staff Zecora had given me, glad for its stable presence. We walked/staggered towards SugarCube Corner making idle chat while Berry stood close to my side and nudged me whenever I seemed to be tilting a little too much.

I looked up at the moon, shining bright in the Ponyville sky, "Y'know, I've always preferred the night to the day." I commented as the Corner came into view.

Berry looked up at me, "Oh? Why's that?"

I shrugged, "Dunno really." I said, still staring up at the sky, "I've always felt more... at home in the dark. Safer, y'know?" I chuckled softly, "Plus, I've always been more poetic and clever at night."

She smirked and raised an eyebrow, "Really now? Prove it." She said, bumping my side playfully.  
>"Alright," I said, standing still to gather my thoughts. I began after a few minutes had passed:<p>

"Sleep Now, little one, and dream well tonight .  
>With Luna's moon may you rest safe, and rise with Celestia's light.<br>Dream Now, little one, of wonderful, whimsical things  
>so you may wake up and see what magic tomorrow brings.<br>Hush Now, little ones, and kiss the day goodbye  
>so that you may wake up with the sun, and soar through the sky.<br>Hush your fears,  
>Mother's here,<br>so now you can say, "Goodnight." " I chuckled softly and took the last steps up to the steps in front of the corner, then turned to look at Berry, "So, how was that?"

I raised my eyebrows and I saw her wiping her eyes, "That was beautiful John," she said, steeping front of me, "What inspired you?" She asked.

I rubbed the back of my head and looked away, "Umm, its kinda embarrassing..." I mumbled.

She poked my stomach, "C'mon, I wanna know."

I sighed and looked her in the eye, "In all honesty?" I began, "You did."

Her eyes widened a bit and a tint of red crossed her face, "Me? How?" She seemed confused.

I sat on the steps, "Well, I've been hangin with you all night, so that came up first, then I thought about how you were a mom," I scratched my chin, "Then I thought of rhymes and how that applied to that kind of situation, which made me think of lullabies." I chuckled softly, "And, well, yeah, that's how that came to be." I turned to look at Berry, who had moved beside me, "So-" My sentence was cut off as she kissed my, full on the mouth.

Those of you reading are probably calling me a bit of a hypocrite now, but try to understand the situation: I was fairly drunk and not suspecting anything of the sort to happen, so I was caught off guard. So don't yell at me for letting it happen, yell at me for not stopping it. Yeah yeah, shut up. It went on for a few seconds, or hours, my brain had sorta shut down so I wasn't totally aware of the passing of time.

When it ended, Berry just smiled at me and turned around, "G'night John, I hope we do this again sometime." She flicked my nose with her tail and and went off.

Using all of my mental capabilities, I came up with a brilliant and clever response, "Buh."

I don't quite remember how long I sat there, or when I got up and went inside, then upstairs, and next to a bed. What I do remember is laying there, staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, not really thinking. When I did, only two things came to mind: One, I had a meeting with two gods tomorrow. Two, Berry Punch had just kissed me. I decided to just go to sleep and think about it in the morning. Despite all my protests earlier, and how I said it was wrong, when I fell asleep that night I could still feel her lips on mine, causing me to drift off with a smile on my face.


	6. Manipulation

I woke up with a slightly sour taste in my mouth and something prodding my side, repeatedly. I grabbed the offending prodder and sat up, , blinking rapidly to clear the fuzz from my eyes. I looked over at my hand to see that, yet again, I had Pinkie Pie's face in my grasp and, yet again, she was attempting to talk through my palm. I stretched out a bit, then let go of her muzzle.

"-And I thought I should bring you some super-duper-extra-special-awesome breakfast in bed!" She said, vibrating in excitement, "Here!" She put a tray in front of me that held toast, cereal, and a glass filled with orange juice.

I took a sip of OJ to wet my throat before I spoke, "Ahh, thanks Pinkie Pie," I took a bite of the cereal, surprised to taste something similar to Frosted Flakes, "The party was great, by the way, much appreciated."

Pinkie hopped around the room, "No problem, I love throwing parties and you needed a welcome party." She jumped onto the bed next to me, somehow not causing the various liquids to tip over, "So," She gave me a serious look, "I heard you're meeting the Princesses today." She laughed and rolled around, "That sounds super awesome! Princess Celestia is really really nice, and you're really really nice, so she oughta love you! Princess Luna is kinda shy but I would be too if I was on the moon for a thousand years and..." She went on and on and on while I was content to listen and eat my breakfast.

Twenty minutes later, I had finished and Pinkie Pie was still going, not having paused to breathe, which both worried and fascinated me, "Hey Pinkie," I said, causing her to freeze mid-hop, "You got a shower or bath I could use?" She nodded vigorously and led me to large tub and filled it with warm water and a ridiculous amount of bubble bath. After I had convinced her that, no, I did not want to use a second bottle of bubbles, she went outside and I got in. I settled in after a vicious bubble battle in which many bubbles were lost, and I reached for a bottle of what I thought was shampoo. I squeezed some of it into my hand, only to see that it was dark brown. Naively, I hoped that it was some sort of crazy herbal pony shampoo, but a sniff and taste quickly revealed it to be chocolate syrup. Had it been any other pony, I would have be concerned but, considering it was Pinkie, I just put it down and found another bottle that held shampoo and actually belonged in the bathroom.

I got reasonably clean and avoided anymore chocolatey incidents, finding Gummy just sitting there, doing his... thing, whatever that was, so I let him be. Pulling on a clean set of clothes, an emerald green hoodie and dark brown jeans, I went downstairs to see Twilight already waiting for me.

I waved, "Hey there Twilight, where's Pinkie gone off to?" I asked, not seeing the pink party pony parading around as she was prone to doing.

"I was told there was a pinata emergency?" She said, looking at me for and answer. I shrugged and she sighed, "I swear, I'll never understand that pony. Anyway, stand next to me." I walked up to her side and ruffled her mane, "Hey, stoppit." She shook her head, "Anyway... I'm going to teleport us to the Atrium, then you'll be escorted to the Princesses." Her horn began to glow a light lavender color.

I cocked my eyebrow, "You won't be coming with me?" I asked.

She shook her head and closed her eyes in concentration, "They wanted to see you alone." Her horn was blindingly bright now, forcing me to close my eyes. I heard a loud noise, then felt... For lack of a better term, crushed. Like a piece of tinfoil crushed into a small, compact ball. I later learned that the transportation only took a couple of seconds, but it felt like hours. When we appeared in the Atrium I immediately fell to my knees and threw up a bit, gasping and shaking.

"NEVER," I growled at Twilight who was standing beside me, "DO. THAT. TO ME. AGAIN." I shakily stood up and looked around, meeting the eyes of at least six guards who were standing at the ready, horns aglow and wings spread. I sighed and shook my head, "Great, friggin great..." I muttered under my breath.

"Take the gloves off!" Shouted one of the pegasus guards, advancing a step. I did as he demanded, "Toss'em here!" He tapped the ground with a hoof, and I tossed them as he asked. He grunted and took them in his mouth, then walked away.

Another guard stepped forward, a unicorn this time, "That green thing you have too, and the white thing under it." He didn't yell, but he wasn't asking. I did what he said, growling a bit, "And the brown things too." He gestured towards my pants and he levitated my shirt and hoodie.

Here I stood firm, "No." I said, crossing my arms, "Feel free to search'em, but I am NOT taking my pants off." I stared the guard in the eye.

Twilight stepped forward, "You can let him keep those, they aren't enchanted in anyway, they just have a lot of pockets." I silently thanked Twilight for standing up for me.

The guard sighed, "Fine, but we will search each pocket." He levitated a small metal rod and began poking through my pockets. The whole process took almost fifteen minutes, with only one stop as he found several pockets filled with peanuts. When he finished two other, much bigger earth pony guards stood at my sides.

Twilight stepped in front of me, "These guys are going to take you to the Princesses," she shuffled her hooves nervously, "Just... Be careful, alright? I wish I knew what to tell you to make all of this end well, but I can't think of anything."

I put a hand on her head and smiled, "I'll be fine Twilight, don't worry." She smiled up at me, "Alright boys, let's go, shall we?" I looked at each of the guards, who grunted and began walking. I kept pace with them as I waved goodbye to Twilight who gave a small, nervous wave in return.

We walked down a ridiculously long hallway, as is required in any good castle, in utter silence. I would've tried to make some light conversation, but I got the feeling that they weren't the talking type. The sideways glares they kept giving me reinforced my belief, so I kept quiet and followed them, glad that the inside of the castle was warm. As we walked, I pondered what may or may not happen, toying around with a few ideas here and there. An idea that really stuck in my mind was the thought of trying to talk to Princess Luna alone. The idea intrigued me, and it would be nice to see what she's would be like without all the pomp and ceremony.

We eventually came to a large, ornate set of doors. One had a large sun on it, while the other had a crescent moon. One guard pushed the doors open, while the other pushed me through them, none too gently either. I looked into the room as I walked in and saw Celestia and Luna sitting beside each other. Celestia looked as regal as ever, and Luna looked more like her sister than ever, tall, noble, and inexplicably flowing mane, though hers was more like the night sky. I was filled with awe, and didn't notice that the guards had stopped a step or two behind me. When I finally did notice, I stopped and stared at the two gods of this world for a few seconds, and they stared at me in turn.

I got on one knee and crossed an arm across my chest, "Your Majesties, it is an honor." I said, looking at the floor, "You humble me with this meeting." While I didn't know how exactly to act in a royal court, I could piece together the basics.

"It's a pleasure," Said Celestia, "Though, from what Twilight Sparkle has told me, you already know my sister and myself. If you could introduce yourself, then I would be most thankful."

"And stand up, I'd like to look you in the eye." Said Luna, her voice soft, pleasant.

I raised my eyebrows and stood, looking at each of the Princesses, "My name is John. I'm not sure how I was brought to Equestria, but I don't plan on harming anypony."

Luna narrowed her eyes a bit, "But the odd cockatrice is fine?" She asked accusingly. I definitely got the good cop, bad cop vibe from these two.

I stood firm, "It had attacked me and Scootaloo, and when I had finally caught up with it, I thought it had harmed her even further." Celestia's eyebrows were raised, probably because she was accustomed to ponies just supplicating to her. Luna, however, remained visually emotionless, "It was natural for me to stop it from doing any further harm to her, permanently so." Celestia put a hoof in front of her mouth, "Thankfully, that did not happen as Zecora stopped me."

Celestia had put her hoof down and was giving me an even look, "But you would have finished it, provided she hadn't?"

"Yes, I would have killed it." I responded without hesitation.

Luna and Celestia both stood up and looked at the guards behind me, motioning for them to leave. They then walked down towards me and began to circle around me slowly, staring at me all the while.

"You would be willing to kill?" Asked Luna, passing in front of me slowly.

"Yes." I nodded, "But only with reason."

"So you would be willing to do it again." Celestia stated from behind me.

I closed my eyes, "If I had to and if I were motivated properly, yes, I would."

I felt the tip of a wing brush my shoulder, "Why defend a pony you barely knew?" Luna asked, close to my ear

"Because, she couldn't protect herself. Even if she had been able to, I would've tried to help." I replied.

I felt a flank bump into me, "Why defend a pony at all? This isn't your world, why do you care?" Asked Celestia.

I was going to reply with something pertaining to my broniness (that is now a word), but I paused, "Because..." I began after a moment, "Because, no matter the dimension, the defenseless are still the defenseless and someone has to protect them." I opened my eyes to look at the two Princesses standing in front of me, "Ponies may have magic and flight and sheer cleverness, but sometimes that isn't enough. I'm not saying I'm going to go out and beat up wild creatures, but I will pummel things to within an inch of their lives if it means that someone can stay safe." The Princesses shared a glance, then looked back at me.

Then Luna yawned, putting a hoof in front of her mouth, "Oh my," She looked over at Celestia, "Tia, you take over. I'm going to bed." She looked at me and poked my chest with a hoof, "I want to talk to you later tonight."

I watched Luna leave, then looked at Celestia, "And so there were two." I said, breaking the silence left in Luna's wake.

Celestia, raised an eyebrow and looked at me for a second before smiling softly, "John, follow me, please." Her voice was gentle, so I followed her as she led me out to a small balcony that overlooked the hedge maze from the Discord incident. She sat down and looked out over the maze, "You seem like a good soul John." She said, not looking at me.

"Thanks." I replied, sitting beside the Princess.

"However, that does not change the fact of what you did." She gave me a stern look, "Even the worst tempered of my guard has not beaten any animal to that degree." She looked back over the maze, "Rather... They could not, even if they tried." I cocked my eyebrow and looked up at Celestia, "Ponies are incapable of bringing such a degree of harm onto another creature." She looked at me, "How. How are you able to do it, and with such ease?"

I looked at my hands, opening and closing them slowly, "A few reasons I guess." I looked up at the sky, "I enjoy pain for one: inflicting it and receiving it, to a degree." I could almost hear Celestia's eyes widen and I chuckled darkly, "Everyone has their kinks Princess, I'm sure you know that much. The second reason would be because, instead of a moral compass, I have something more akin to moral segments." I lifted my hand in front of me, "The main segment, where I normally am, is how I normally act. Somewhat emotionally, more logically, and with general content." I looked at Celestia, who was waiting for me to continue, "On one side lies my "Pure" side," I titled my hand to the left, "A side that wants to help everything and everyone in any way possible. This segment is difficult to bring about, but it happens due to strong feelings of sympathy or care that I feel towards a being. Ponies often inspire these feelings." I tilted my hand to the right, "The third segment is my "Feral" side..." I paused and put my hand down, "It is my anger, hate, and want of destruction. Everything I've repressed. Its brought about by any sort of negative feelings and causes, well, things like the cockatrice incident."  
>"So this could happen whenever you feel a negative feeling?" Celestia asked, concerned.<p>

I shook my head, "Years of practice have allowed me to gain a significant degree of control over it, so you don't have to worry." I closed my eyes and sighed.

Celestia didn't speak for a little while and I didn't try to break the silence, "John," She began slowly, "How would you feel about me hiring you for a job?"

I opened my eyes and looked at the Princess, "You're kidding." I said, disbelief dripping from my voice.

She shook her head and looked down at me, "Quite the opposite. From what Twilight has told me you know of the location where she and the Elements of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon?" I nodded and she smiled for a second, "Those ruins were once a castle, the castle in which Luna and I once lived. We, rather I, moved out of there after Luna's banishment. It had... too many memories and I couldn't stand to be there." Celestia laid down, her hooves crossed.

I cocked my eyebrow, "So what is it you want me to do?"

Celestia smiled at me, "I want you to reclaim that castle." My other eyebrow shot up, "You see, during the time Luna was banished, it became the ruins you know today, and I still could not bring myself to return there. Once Luna had returned, I had hoped to move back, but she was still weak and I had to continue managing the sun, moon, and royal duties. When her strength had returned, she and I had made plans to restore the castle and return, but then Discord reappeared. While he is gone, much of his magical influence still remains. Luna and I have our hooves full trying to dissipate his magic, but it still holds much sway over the creatures of the Everfree." She looked me in the eye, "This is where you come in. The creatures that have been affected by his magic do not respond as others do. While, normally, a magical barrier and large groups would frighten away most of them, the ones affected by Discord's magic are bold and will often chase after ponies. This is problematic because they are also stronger than normal, and we ponies cannot properly defend ourselves. However, you can. You are able to beat them into submission to such a degree that they would most likely choose to stay away from whatever you called your territory."

I scratched the back of my head, "While I can respect wanting to move back into your old home, is it really that important?" I asked, slightly confused.

"True, the castle merely holds sentimental value, it is what is inside the castle that I am more focused on. You see, living as long as we have, Luna and I have collected many rare objects. Some were trinkets, but many contained powerful magical properties."  
>I smirked and nodded, "And you want me to reclaim the territory so that nothing unwanted gets a hold of your magical swag." She chuckled a bit and nodded, "Fair enough, I'll do it. Let's talk payment though, cause this sounds dangerous and I'll want proper compensation."<p>

Celestia seemed slightly taken aback, "You would refuse a request from me?" She asked.

I smiled, baring my fangs, "I'm not one of your subjects Celestia," I chuckled, "While I'm willing to do it, it would have to be because of proper compensation."

She sighed and thought for a while, "Alright, here is my offer: A house in Ponyville, the magical blessings of myself and Luna, and, upon completion, fifty thousand bits." She smiled slyly.

I laughed, "Princess, you've got a deal." I stood up and stretched, then leaned in and ran a hand through her mane. It felt like I was running my hand through warm fog, a warm, prismatic fog, "You've got a pretty mane, y'know that?" I said as her eyes widened.

"Wha-wh-" She shook her head and stared at me.

"What." I asked, toying with her "hair."

"No one has touched my mane in years!" She stated.

"That's a shame, its fun to play with." I responded, still toying with it.

"Stoooop!" She whined, moving her head away.

"Gimme back my clothes then!" I said, following her head to continue my toying.

"Fine!" Her horn glowed and my clothes reappeared in a neat pile beside me.

"Thank you." I said, pulling on my shirt and hoodie. I put on my gloves and flexed my hands, smiling at the already familiar feel.

Celestia looked at my gloves, "So those are what you used?" She asked, gesturing to my hands.

I nodded, "Yep. I would have used a branch as a club or something, but I put more trust in my own hands." I stared at the gloves, "Though, it could've gone worse for me because of these gloves."

Celestia raised her eyebrows, "How so?" She asked.

I cracked my knuckles, "Well, the force produced by the stones could've gone through my arms rather than into the cockatrice." Celestia raised her eyebrows higher, "Since, as you know, the Shield Stones produce force when activated, that force has to go somewhere or do something. Usually, it pushes whatever is headed toward the stone away. However, when force has nowhere to go, it usually goes back on its source. And since I was beating it as it was on the ground, if it wasn't just dirt, but stone-"

"Then the force produced would have gone back on the gloves, and you." She finished, "Impressive, you have much knowledge for a being so young."

I smirked and looked out at the city, "No, I'm actually not too smart." I chuckled softly, "Nah, what I am is clever. Anyone can be smart, it isn't too hard. Being clever, however, is much more difficult." I was quiet for a second, "Hey Princess."

"Hmm, yes John?"

"I want to go into the city and look around. Bein stuck in here will just make me irate." I said, looking over at the Sun Princess, "It that alright?"

She smiled softly and nodded, "That is fine. I'll have one of the guards escort you out." She said, standing up, "However, since Luna would like to talk to you, another guard will fetch you as the moon is rising." I nodded, "Wonderful, now if you could just kneel for me?"

I cocked my eyebrow, but did as she asked, "Alright, umm, why?" I asked, stopping as the tip of her horn touched my forehead.

"John, on this day I grant you the blessings of the Sun. May you ever see it rise after your darkest night and know that both it and I are protecting you. May you know it's warmth in the coldest of times, and may it's light guide you through the darkest of times." Her horn glowed as an aura began to form around my body, "So long as the sun shines, you will be blessed. So long as it shines you will be safe. So long as it shines, it will guide you." I felt like I was surrounded by warm water, "And so long as it shines, then you may find your way home." She finished, standing up straight.

I remained on my knee for a moment as the light around disappeared, "Thank you Princess." I said, standing, "I shall do work worthy of your blessing." I smiled softly.

She nodded and turned, "Guard?" she called out, a unicorn instantly appearing, "Please escort John to the city square, he wants to look around for a while." She nodded to me, "Do you have some spending money?" She asked, a motherly smile on her face.

"No, but I'd rather you didn't-" I was cut off.

"Nonsense," she put a hoof up to silence me, "Just charge it to the castle, but you have a limit of three hundred bits, alright?"

I sighed in defeat, "Alright, since you'd probably force it on me anyway." I smiled at her, "Thanks Princess, take care." I looked at the guard and gestured, "Lead the way."

"Farewell John, I have high hopes for you." She said, waving as I left.

The guard led me through many halls and doorways without saying a word, but it was a pleasant silence. I looked around as we walked, smirking at the bustle of the castle staff as they tended to royal needs. The guard led me to a door and opened it, revealing a large flight of stone steps leading down towards a fountain and, what I assumed was, town square.

"Hey," He said, surprising me, "Feelin' hungry?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, then nodded at a building a little off to the right, "That's a little diner, its good and pretty cheap."

I smiled, "Thanks, whats your name?" I asked.

He smirked, "Ironhide." He replied, then turned and left down the hall. I chuckled and went down the stairs, ignoring the glances I got from the ponies I passed. I guess the castle staff was used to odd things, so they didn't care much, but I was, yet again, surrounded by ponies who knew nothing about me. I shrugged it off and went to the little diner Ironhide had pointed out and made an order of fruit salad with a small side of peanuts. The cook looked me over once when I came up, then again as I said to charge it to the castle, but he shrugged and went along with it. I took the order to go, smirking at the paper bowls they had made to hold my meal. I meandered for a while, then sat under a tree and began to nosh. I was content to people watch, rather, pony-watch, as music played softly in the background. It took my a few moments to actually notice the music had a source, so I turned and saw, much to my joy, Lyra sitting and playing her lyre. I went up to her, noting the small bowl in front of her and a sign that said, 'Tips Appreciated' so I tossed in three bits and sat in front of her, happy to admire her music with my eyes closed.

When she stopped I opened my eyes to see her looking at me with an eyebrow raised, "You gave me the tip?" She asked and I replied with a nod, "Alright, you want to request something?" She smiled, seemingly unfazed by my being me.

I smiled a bit, "Something sweet and pleasant, if you can." I replied. She nodded and began playing again, a tune that I recognized, surprisingly enough. It was 'Summer (Lyra And Bon-Bon)' and the tune almost brought a tear to my eye as I was reminded of home. I shook my head and simply enjoyed the music, standing and thank Lyra when she finished, then went off to look around, maybe even spend some of the bits Princess Celestia had given me. I normally dislike people giving me money, but I'll spend it once I get it because it seems almost rude not to. My eye wandered back and forth from store to store, not really seeing anything I wanted, but then my eyes paused on an elegant wine glass. The stem was made of crystal and shaped to look like a tree, the roots spreading over the base and the branches holding the delicate bulb on top. The bulb itself was a sight, as it seemed perfectly clear from one angle, then a rich magenta from another. My mind went back to Berry Punch as I looked at the glass and I smiled, walking towards the store. I left, charging another ninety-five bits to the castle, with the glass safely wrapped and in hand, but I was concerned for its safety as I was prone to dropping things and forgetting them. I sighed and pondered, noting a sign in front of me with a small bell hanging underneath. I walked up to the sign and read, 'For Mail-Pony services, ring bell.' I couldn't believe it for a bit, simply refusing to accept that instant mail delivery could be summoned by a bell. Then I remembered where I was and sighed, smirking, proceeding to ring the bell.

"How can I help you?" Said a voice behind me, nearly causing me to shit my pants as I turned, "Need a delivery done?" Asked Derpy, hovering with a smile.

"Y-yeah," I held out the wrapped glass, "I need this delivered to Ponyville." I said as she delicately tucked it in one of her saddlebags.

"Who's the recipient?" She asked

"Um, Berry Punch." I replied, my heart finally slowing down.

"Direct delivery or Home delivery?" Derpy asked, looking at me with one eye.

"Whats the difference?"

"I bring it straight to her, or deliver it to her house."

"Uh, direct, I guess."

"Alright, twenty bits please." She held out a hoof.

"Charge it to the castle, they'll cover for me." I replied. She saluted and went off on her merry, slightly swervy, way. I scratched the back of my head and stared after Derpy as she flew, slightly confused by the whole ordeal. Happy, yes, but still a bit confused.

"John? Whatever brings you here darling?" Said another voice from behind me.

"AH! WHATEVERITISIDIDNTDOIT!" I screamed, turning around quick enough to pop my back a bit. There stood Rarity, looking mildly confused with saddlebags chock full of what looked like bolts of cloth.

"Are... are you quite alright dear?" Rarity looked concerned, "Do you need anything?"

I hit my chest a couple time to restart my heart and smiled, "Nah, you just startled me a bit there Rarity." I sighed and leaned against the sign, chuckling softly, "Woo, goddess... Anywho, what are you doing in Canterlot?" I asked.

Rarity gestured to her saddlebags, "I come by on occasion to scour the market for any new fabrics and design ideas." She looked at me, "And yourself? What brings you to the Royal City?"

I shrugged and rubbed the back of my neck, "Umm, I kinda had a meeting with the Princesses."

Her eyes went wide, "You DID? Whatever for?" She seemed even more concerned, "Oh, you aren't in trouble for the cockatrice incident, are you?"

She fretted about for a few seconds, "Relax Rarity, I wanted to meet them." I smiled softly as she calmed down a bit, "I was only really able to talk to Celestia anyway. She gave me a job to do, so I'm now royally hired."

"Oh my." She sounded impressed, "What does she want you to do?"

I decided telling her was probably not a good idea, "She said it would be best to keep it between us," Rarity nodded in understanding, "She paid me some in advance though."

We started walking down the street, "What did she pay you?" Rarity asked.

"Well, a house in Ponyville, fifty thousand bits on completion," Rarity nodded, slightly impressed, "And her blessing along with Luna's." I finished, stopping to look at Rarity who was looking at me with wide eyes.

"Their blessings? As in, they performed a ceremony type of blessing?" She asked, getting really close to my face.

I took a step back, "Sorta? It was only Celestia, since I'm meetin' Luna tonight-"

Rarity's hooves were on my shoulders, "You are so lucky! Nopony gets their blessings! Only heroes and the like even have a CHANCE!"

I laughed softly as she freaked out, going on and on about how it was an honor beyond honors, "Y'know, you never asked about my date." I said, trying to change the subject.

Rarity stopped in front of a small jewelry boutique, looking in the window, "How did it go?" She asked, eyeing up some of the pieces in the window.

"Pretty good," I said, looking over the jewelry, "We went out for some drinks, learned a bit about each other, then we headed out. She got a taste of my nocturnally inspired poetry," I paused for a moment, the ghost of Berry's lips touching my own, "Then she kissed me." I finished.

Rarity looked at me, her eyes widening for a second before she looked back at the window, "... I see." She fidgeted, "And how did you feel about that?"

"Well," I began slowly, "If someone had asked me that before I had come to Equestria, I probably would have been grossed out, but now?" I rubbed my chin, "Well, now, I kinda liked it." I said, chuckling softly.

"...Ah." Rarity said, "Well I'm happy for you John." She said in a voice that did not speak of happiness at all. I frowned slightly and looked at Rarity, noting how her tail had drooped a bit and her eyes didn't quite sparkle as they normally did. I looked at her, then looked inside the boutique we were standing in front of. I went inside for a few minutes, leaving Rarity outside with a raised eyebrow.

I came back out after a couple of minutes, "Close your eyes." I said, kneeling in front of Rarity.

"But," she began.

I held up a hand, "Close your eyes." I repeated.

"Fine." She replied, closing her eyes. I then slipped the fine silver chain around her neck and smiled, the small azure teardrop pendant resting against her chest. She opened her eyes and looked down, "Oh, it's lovely," She said, smiling softly, then looking at me, "Thank you, but why...?"

I shrugged and smiled, "Well, it's partly to say thank you, for all you've done for me." I rubbed the back of my neck, "Also, cause it reminded me of your eyes." She raised an eyebrow slightly, "Out of all the eyes that I saw, I always kinda liked yours the most." I felt myself blush a bit, "And, well, cause..." I shook my head, "Forget it, I'll tell you later." I stood up and stretched, "C'mon, show me around a bit, yeah?" I looked around at the other stores.

Rarity didn't say anything for a minute, then giggled, "Alright, come along then." She trotted past me, "I'll show you the wonders of Canterlot." And so she did. We spent the rest of the morning and much of the afternoon wandering the streets of Canterlot as Rarity showed me high end designer shops and stores, as well as low end stores that held high quality merchandise. We had an early dinner, which I paid for using the rest of the funds Celestia had given me, then off to look at statues and whatnot. After a full day of walking around, Rarity began leading me back to the square and we sat down by the fountain, tired, but happy.

I chuckled, "Well, that was fun." I said, stretching out, "Though I have to say, you know a lot of places and ponies here in Canterlot."

Rarity wore a proud smile, "Naturally," She replied, "An elegant pony like myself always gains the attention of passersby."

I smirked and shook my head, "Certainly gained my attention," I mumbled softly, leaning back a bit.

Rarity turned towards me, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that." She said.

I shook my head, "It's nothin' Rarity, don't worry about it." I replied.

"Oh come now, tell me!" She said, scooting closer and pouting a bit. I shook my head and put a finger up to my lips, causing her to pout further, "Fine, spoilsport." She said, pushing my gently. Unfortunately I was balanced rather precariously on the edge of the fountain and, when she pushed me, I fell back into the water.

I flailed about and sputtered for a bit before surfacing, ready to glare at Rarity, when I actually got a look at her. It seems that I had splashed her as I was flailing about, causing her normally coiffed mane to fall down straight. Her eyes were filled with the light of the setting sun and the necklace I got her shimmered a bit as the light caught it. Rarity stepped forward, probably about to voice some sort of concern, when I leaned forward and kissed her. My brain was beating itself with confusion, as was the rest of me, but I didn't pull back. To my twisted delight, neither did she, quite the opposite, she leaned into it and returned it.

We must have held that kiss for a few minutes because, when a quiet cough behind us caused us to part, the sun had fully set, "Pardon the intrusion," Said a voice from my side, "But it is officially night and Sir John is to meet Princess Luna." I guess it was a guard, but my eyes were locked on Rarity's, much like hers were locked on mine. The guard stood by for a few seconds, but took it upon himself to gently drag me away. I waved goodbye to Rarity, my mind still reeling with what I had done. She didn't do anything for a moment, then returned the wave, vanishing as the guard forced me to turn around and walk up the steps that led to the castle.

We walked through the halls in silence, mine being a contemplative one. I had gotten lost in the moment and just went for it. Yeah, I have my kinks when it comes to attraction, but I was crossing some serious lines here. I shook my head in frustration as my thoughts became more and more muddled, walking right into a large purple-blue door. I rubbed my nose as the guard opened the door and let me in, closing it behind me. I looked around, noting the constellations on the ceiling and mainly blue and purple décor.

Princess Luna appeared from a shadowy corner, "John. It's good to see you again." She said, not smiling.

I bowed, "And you Princess Luna." I replied, remembering my manners, "To what do I owe the honor of this private meeting?" I asked, looking up at her.

She stared at me for a second before giggling, "Drop the formal talk," She said, sitting on a cushion, "It's flattering, but I just want to see you for you."

I straightened up, "Alright, if that's what you want." I shrugged, "So, what up Luna?"

She smiled, "Not much. I assume Celestia has filled you in on the job we had in mind for you?" I nodded, "Good. The reason I wanted to see you alone is because Celestia, though I love her to pieces, is far too trusting of others." Luna walked up to me and leaned close, a sly smirk on her face, "I, however, plan on testing you to see if you can be trusted." She smiled and turned around, "Follow me." She walked to a balcony and looked at me as I stepped up beside her, "Before we go, I have to ask: What does that mark you have mean?" She asked, looking at me.

I chuckled, "Its a symbol of my worship." I said, giving her the abridged version, "It also represents my love of the night." I said, smirking.

Luna gave me an approving look, "I'm starting to like you." Her horn began to glow as a bubble of magic formed around us, "Now hold on to something." She said.

As far as I can guess, it was another teleportation spell, though infinitely more pleasant than Twilight's. It dropped us off in front of a large, brick building. It would have been rather easy to pass over, were it not for the long, long, LONG, line of ponies at the door and the large blue neon sign that read 'Tech-Tonics.'

Luna nudged my shoulder and began to walk to the door. A large earth pony looked at her and opened the door, giving me a curious glance as I passed by. I kept close to the Princess as we walked in, down a softly lit hallway, then to another set of doors. On either side of the doors were small baskets filled with un-cracked glowsticks.

Luna picked one up and tossed two to me, "C'mon, I'll take you to the bar, then the test begins." She said vaguely, opening the doors. I guess they were enchanted with some sort of soundproofing because the sudden blast of hardcore techno music that blasted from the doorway almost knocked me backwards. Luna glanced back at me with a smirk and began to walk into the club. All around me were flashing lights and dancing ponies, there were even some cages hanging from the ceiling with ponies dancing inside them.

The music was pretty good and I was bobbing my head, "So!" I shouted, barely able to hear myself above the din, "What's an alicorn princess doing in a place like this?" I asked Luna loudly.

"Well, I was stuck on the moon for a millennium!" Luna shouted back at me, leading a small path through the dancing ponies, "So I've been learning about modern culture! I found myself liking clubs like this!" I nodded in understanding, "Here's the bar!" She said, nodding to a long bar staffed by a small team of ponies, "Now your test begins!" She smiled at me and her horn began to glow.

"Whats my test?" I asked.

"I'm gonna see how you do here!" She laughed and began to fade, "Have fun!" She said, before disappearing completely. I shook my head went up to the bar, then leaned on the counter until one of the bartenders would decide to service me.

Thankfully it didn't take long, as a pony wearing black vest came up to me, "Hey stranger!" He shouted, "What's your poison?"

"Two shots of tequila and some lime!" I replied, deciding to start hard and only drink in small spurts through the night. He nodded and quickly got the drinks set up for me, "Here you go!" He shouted as I quickly downed one of the shots, "This your first time here?" He asked, probably noticing me looking around.

"Yeah, Princess Luna decided to bring me here!" I replied.

"Wow! Not bad!" He laughed, "Alright! Since it's your first time, I'll give you our specialty drink, on the house!" He nodded as I took my second shot and hissed softly as the burn settled in my stomach. He came back after a couple minutes with a drink in hand... hoof.

I raised my eyebrow as I looked the drink over. It looked like carbonated light blue syrup, but the weird part was that it pulsed with angular, red lines in time with the music, "Is this safe to drink?" I asked, grabbing the cup gingerly.

He laughed again, "So long as you only have two!" He said, "Don't worry, it's good for the soul!" He said, pounding his chest.

I shrugged and held the cup up, "Cheers mate." I said, taking a swig. It was like drinking sweet electricity, my body shuddering slightly as the charge went through my body. A familiar tingle went through my arms and teeth, a tingle that signaled my animal instincts were coming out. I smiled broadly, baring my fangs. The bartender had left to take care of some other customers, so I leaned against the bar for a while, sipping the wonderful nectar he had given me. The emptier the cup became, the more wired I became. When I had finished it, I could feel a soft growling in the back of my throat and the urge to move pulsing through me, so I left my glass and a couple bits on the counter for the bartender, then went onto the dance floor. I quickly worked my way through a crowd of dancing ponies towards one of the massive speakers set up on the floor. If I was going to dance, I wanted to feel the bass pulse through me. Once I had wiggled and snaked my way through the crowd I cracked the glowsticks and began to dance. I was surrounded by a group of ponies who seemed to share my passion for bass pulsations and had a weird thing for glowing apparel. It was very cyber-punk, what with neon dreadlocks and various glowing bands on various parts of their anatomy. They glanced at me and I glanced at them, glances were exchanged, then we started dancing, the bass guiding our bodies. We went at it for a while, then one of them came up to me and put hie forehooves on my shoulders and screamed in my face. I put my hands on his shoulders and screamed at his face, then he did it again and I did it again in kind. We began screaming at each other, then jumping to the beat as we screamed, stepped back and did a hardcore brohoof, hard enough to make a slight cracking sound upon the impact. He gave me a fierce smile and I roared happily, an unspoken acceptance forming between us. I felt a hoof tap my shoulder and I turned around, looking at my reflection in a pair of purple sunglasses.

"Hey!" Said my pony idol, "Seems like the guys like you!" Vinyl Scratch jerked her head up towards the DJ's podium, "C'mon up, you seem pretty cool, let's see if the rest of 'Tech-Tonics' thinks of you!" She laughed and led me up a small set of stairs. I would have just drooled with the fanboyism, but the drink I had just made me grin and follow her up the stairs.

The music quieted down a bit and Vinyl went up to a microphone, gathering the attention of everypony present, "Hey y'all, it's your favorite musical magician, DJ PON-3, lemme hear your love!" She shouted as all the ponies began to scream and cheer, "Now, I would like to introduce a new friend of mine," She waved for me to come up, "As you can tell he's not from around here, show him some Tech-Tonic love!"

I stepped up to the mic as the crowd of ponies roared again, "Evening all, it's so lovely to be here, if I must say so myself," I said in a posh tone of voice. A number of ponies gave me odd looks and I burst of laughing then snarled a bit, "Yeah RIGHT! My name is Johnny Sanguine and I'm here to break beats, courtesy of your musical mistress: Vinyl Scratch!" I laughed and looked at the crowd as Vinyl smirked beside me and set up a track for me, "Now every pony, do you love that bass?" I said, getting a roar in response, "C'mon, DO YOU LOVE THAT BASS!" I shouted.

"YEAH!" They shouted in response.

"YEAH?"

"YEAH!"

This repeated for a little while, growing faster and louder, Vinyl quickly picking up the beat as the ponies whipped themselves into a dancing frenzy. I nodded and smiled wide as I saw them all whipping about, the bass heavy enough to shake a few drinks off of the bar. I stepped down and let Vinyl take over, earning a brohoof and a glace at her ruby red eyes as she winked at me.

I worked my way back up to the bar, "Seems you make fast friends Sanguine," Said the bartender who served me earlier, "Props."

I chuckled, "What can I say? Ponies love me." I shrugged, "Can I get some water?" He nodded and slid a glass my way, "Thanks." I chugged it down, sighing happily at the soothing sensation it had on my throat.

Leaning back against the bar, I saw two ponies stagger their way towards me. One was an earth pony, the other was a unicorn. I cocked my eyebrow as they stumbled towards me, but I didn't do anything to move.

The earth pony looked at me, "Sho, think yer shooo shpeshul, huh?" He said, clearly drunk of his pony ass, "Jusht 'cuz yoo got ta talk ta us?" I elected not to say anything and continue drinking my water, "Shomepony should teach yoo a lesshon! Ah think I will." He spread his legs in a pony attack position, still managing to sway.

I put my glass down beside me and stared at the pony hard, "Bro, you don't want to do that." I said, trying to calm him down, "Just chill out, have some fun, yeah?" I smiled, but lowered my center of gravity, just in case. It seems my caution was well warranted, as the pony turned and tried to buck me in the chest. Thankfully, probably due to his inebriation, he was off and I was able to side step the kick easily. As he fumbled for a second to regain his balance I put my hand on the counter behind me, jumped, and kicked out with both my feet hard against his shoulder. The pony went stumbling into a bouncer who had come up to see what the commotion was about, while his friend, who seemed equally as drunk, began to shout at me in a drunken slur so bad that I couldn't even tell if there were words involved. What I could tell is that he was attempting to cast a spell, seeing as his horn was glowing, but I couldn't get to him in time to try and stop him. The unicorn shot a stream of fire from his horn, but I couldn't move. Rather, I wouldn't, as there was a large amount of alcohol behind me and, last I checked, alcohol plus fire equals bad. I had enough time to grab a pitcher of water and pour it's contents over myself, then hold my hands up in front of me, Shield Stones facing outwards, eyes closed. The fire came forth and I could hear the water I poured over myself evaporating, hissing as it became steam. Yet, I did not feel pain, much to my surprise. In fact, what I felt was similar to when Celestia blessed me, just surrounded by warmth. I opened my eyes to find myself surrounded by flames, unable to see anything else, yet not burning. I took a small, experimental breath and found my throat unharmed, better, if anything. I didn't bother to question the impossibility of the situation, so I closed my eyes and breathed slowly, focusing. Beyond the crackling of the flames I could hear screaming and panic, but I blocked it out and focused, trying to think of a way to get out of this. Naturally I couldn't just walk around, wreathed in flame, as that is frowned upon. What I figured was that the flame was being manipulated by me, somehow, someway. Applying all I knew about Equestrian magic, which added up to 'Picture it and hope to Luna it works,' I focused on the fire collecting around my gloves.

A few tense moments passed, but I soon felt the warmth around me slowly draw away from my body and gather around my forearms. I opened my eyes and saw my gloves were surrounded by flames, my fingers becoming fiery claws. I chuckled darkly, then looked up to see the offending unicorn staring at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. My face contorted as I snarled and I could feel my eyes go colder than dry ice as I walked over to the wannabe arsonist.

He trying to back up, but stumbled over his own hooves and looked up at me as I stood over him, "You." I growled, grabbing his horn with one flaming hand, "You idiot." He was whimpering as the flames came close to licking his face. I pulled him up by his horn, bringing his face close to mine, "You tried to hurt me." I could hear the short, velvet like fur on his horn singeing in my fiery grasp, "I want you to know something," I growled softly into his ear, bringing my free hand up to his neck, slowly tracing a pentagram into his fur, "I have no qualms about hurting you." I let go of his horn and slammed an open palm into the center of the pentagram I had drawn, hard. He let out what was probably all the air in his lungs and fell back, curled into a ball, as I crouched beside him, "Now apologize." I snarled, "Unless you want me to burn your fur black!" I looked him over, my hand had left a large black mark around his horn, while there was a sooty pentagram with a hand in the center of it on his chest.

"S-s-sorry! I-I'm sorry!" He started crying, "D-d-don't h-hurt me!" He sobbed, holding his forehooves up in front of his face. I chuckled hollowly and roared at him, a deep, primal roar straight from my gut. He squealed and backed away, curling into a tight ball. I stood, arms still ablaze, and, much to my disgust and sadness, saw the unicorn had actually pissed himself in fear. I sighed and turned to the exit, walking through the wide path that ponies made in front of me. Once outside, I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes, releasing the flames that surrounded my arms. I felt the warmth vanish and opened my eyes to see it had gone, leaving some black burn marks on the gloves, but nothing irreparable. I leaned against the wall behind me and sighed, slowly sliding down into a sitting position. What had started as a pretty fun night ended in me being stressed out and probably in no small degree of trouble.

"I'm impressed." Dark blue fur appeared in front of me, "Ponies seem to naturally be attracted to you." Said Luna, looking down at me with a smirk.

I sighed again and stood up, "While flattering, you seem to have missed the bit where I was almost the victim of assault and arson." I looked at the Princess who was, for some reason, smiling.

"Oh no, I didn't miss that. In fact, very little occurs without my knowledge." Luna began walking and I groaned, following as was probably expected, "You see, I wanted to see how well you acted in a stressful environment." I cocked an eyebrow at her as we walked, "Surrounded by unfamiliar ponies, not even sure where you were, knowing you were under scrutiny. You see, Vinyl Scratch, despite her popularity and friendly nature, has a very small circle of friends. The ponies you met by the speaker made up the majority of that circle, and the fact that you were able to go up to them so casually, and be accepted no less, is a tribute to your ability to cope." I wasn't going to say that it was probably just dumb luck, "When Vinyl presented you in front of the whole club, you were remarkably collected," And slightly inebriated, "Leading them into one of the best frenzies I've seen in a while."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, "While that's all well and good," I said, interrupting her flow, "We still have yet to address that facts that I was attacked, can apparently do fucking MAGIC, and nearly roasted a pony to crispy bits."

Luna chuckled softly and laid down on a bench under a tree, inviting me to sit beside her, "I was getting to that. The two that attacked you were part of my Royal Guard, working undercover as it were." I sat beside Luna and looked at her, "While your ability to harm is... impressive, I wanted to see if you could control yourself when you needed to. I had them drink to the point where they could be convincingly drunk while still maintaining their mental facilities, then sent them off to test you."

I would have been mad, but I was just too drained, "So, you planned for them to attack me?" I asked.

"Not attack, test." She said with a mischievous grin, "And you did wonderfully with the first guard. The second though..." She paused.

I chuckled hollowly, "You didn't expect me to go all pyromancer on you, is that it?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well, I had assumed you would dive off to the side, then handle him." She said, looking at me, "Why didn't you move?" She asked.

I sighed, "Well, in my world, alcohol ignites when hit with fire. I was in front of the bar when he shot the flame at me and that much liquor plus a flame, wouldn't end well."

Luna nodded, "So you were trying to protect other ponies." I nodded in return, "How noble." She paused again, "... Now, about your magic."

I held up a hand, "I don't know how or why it happened, it just did, alright?" I snapped.

Luna pushed my hand down gently, "I understand that, but can we test it quickly?" She asked, slight concern in her voice. I nodded, "Good, now try to summon a flame." She directed. I tried my best but, five minutes later, there was no flame to be seen, "Hmm, alright, then try manipulating this one." She summoned a baseball sized fireball from her horn, then gently let it float down to my side. This time, when I focused a bit, I could manipulate the fire to do almost anything, change shapes, move, even separate into smaller flames that dotted the tips of my fingers, "Ah, it seems that, while you can work with existing flames, you can't summon any of your own." She said, nodding sagely.

I looked at her, "And how do we know this is it? What if I can do more than play with fire?" I asked.

Luna looked down and sighed, "Unfortunately, barring more tests, no one can know the extent of your abilities." Luna got up and stood in front of me, "All of that aside, you passed my tests. Yes, my guards are a little worse for wear, but you controlled yourself." She smiled softly and touched my forehead with her horn, "That's all I needed to know before I granted you this."

It was like a dark veil made of the finest silk was slowly wrapped around my body, "John, I grant you the Blessing of the Moon. With it, may the moon's light guide you and lead you to your goals. With it, may you see in even the darkest of places. With it, may the night hide you from harm. With it, may the creatures of the night never harm you." I felt at one with the universe, "And with it, as long as I stand, may the stars guide you, the moon inspire you, and the night keep you." Luna straightened up and the feeling left me, "You're a good soul, you know that?"

I smiled lazily and chuckled, "I've been told as much."

She sat in front of me with a wry grin, "So. Tell me about you, Rarity, and Berry Punch."

I sputtered for a second, "How do you know about that?" I asked, bewildered.

Luna giggled behind a hoof, "Well, when you arrived, Twilight Sparkle sent a letter to my sister, as would be expected from her." I nodded in agreement, "Well, I read the letter as well, and we've been keeping an eye on everything you've done since then."

I blushed, "So. You know about the, uh, thing with Berry and the other thing with Rarity and... yeah, you know." I fumbled about with my words.

Luna nodded, "Indeed. Though the kiss with Rarity would have been hard to miss, all things considered." I scratched the back of my head and looked down, "I must ask, why?" She looked at me expectantly.

"Why what?" I said, trying to skirt around the subject.

"Why did you do it?" Luna said, "I know that you could have easily pushed Berry away if it had bothered you, and nopony was compelling you to kiss Rarity, so, why?"

I sighed and twiddled my thumbs, "I guess... I dunno," I pinched the bridge of my nose again, "If you had said I did that before I came here, then I would have called you a liar because I would never do anything like that, but now?" I looked at the moon, "I dunno, seeing them in front of me, living, breathing, REAL, it... changes things." I chuckled weakly, "Sorry Luna, that's the best I can do to explain it.

She smiled softly, "That's fine John." She nudged my side with a wing, "Come on, let's head back to the castle." She started walking and I was quick to follow. Luna and I were content to walk in silence back to the castle. There were a few guards patrolling the halls, each giving us a tired smile and nod as we passed by, soon going back to their duties. I didn't bother trying to keep track of the winding path we took, but I soon found that I was, yet again, in front of Luna's room.

She nudged the door open and trotted over to the large, circular bed, "Come John, lay down." She patted the space beside her with a hoof.

I scratched my neck, "Umm, Princess, is that very appropriate?" I was fine with the idea, but I didn't want to wake up to a force of angry guards, "Y'know, you being you?"

Luna giggled softly, "It's fine. It won;t be the first time since I've come back that I've shared my bed." My brain went to dark, dirty things, "Now get over here." She insisted with big pleading eyes. I sighed and got in next to her, taking off my hoodie and shoes and placing them beside my bag on the floor, then snuggled into the sheets.

Luna nuzzled the side of my face with her muzzle, "Good night John." She said softly.

I was already falling into unconsciousness, "Dream well my Queen." I mumbled softly, falling faster and faster into sleep. The last thing I remember thinking about was the sight of Rarity and Berry smiling softly and looking at me, then I was off to dreamland.


	7. Relocated

I woke up, my face filled with stars or, more accurately, Luna's mane. I pushed it out of my face and sat up, rubbing my eyes. Looking around, I noticed that Luna had her room arranged to let in very little light, though I wasn't terribly surprised, given she was the Lunar Princess. I got up and pulled on some clothes, then looked down to see Luna, fast asleep beside me. She was snoring softly, head on top of her crossed hooves, her mane laying about, still rippling a tiny bit. I stood up and stretched, careful to do so quietly, as not to wake her up. Grabbing all my gear, I went back to the Princess and put my forehead against her in a small gesture of affection, then opened the door and stepped out into the hall. A couple of her Lunar Guards were standing at attention on either side of the door, barely giving me any notice. I looked them over, impressed by the darker twist on the typical guards armor, then asked one of them where I could find the kitchens. He cocked an eyebrow, then smiled, gesturing for me to follow. I would have been more attentive to the variety of ponies that passed by me, but I was too tired to spend more attention on anything other than the pony leading me to food. It took a few minutes for us to get there, but we got to the kitchens without incident. The guard nodded to me and left, probably back to stand guard, while I went up to a pony with a chefs hat on.

"Mornin," I yawned, "You guys have coffee?" I asked, leaning against a table beside me.

The chef pony turned to look at me, then grabbed a jug, mug, and poured me a cup, "Here," She said, passing it to me, "This should do you some good."

"Thanks." I said, taking a long sip, smiling happily as I felt the warmth spread inside me.

"So, you're the one who slept with Princess Luna?" Asked the chef pony, grabbing her own mug.

I smirked, "If you mean I shared a bed with her in a platonic manner, then yes, that was me." I replied.

She chuckled softly, "You're clever. So, why are the Princesses interested in you?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

I shrugged, "I have a wonderful personality and skills that allow me to perform a certain job they want me to do." I finished, draining the last of the coffee and nodding, "Much appreciated." I said, grabbing a couple apples and heading out on my merry way. My merry way soon turned into a lost and confused path as I walked down hallways and corridors that looked far too similar to each other.

I felt a wing nudge my shoulder and looked up, "Lost?" Asked Celestia with a smile, "It happens to the best of us." She said, seeing me nod. With a quick flash of light we were in the Atrium, "I've arranged for a carriage to bring you back to your new house in Ponyville." She said, leading to me a platform with a carriage and two pegasus ponies waiting for me, "I hope Luna didn;'t get you into much trouble?" She said, smiling down at me.

I chuckled softly, "Well, not much," I pulled the flames from a group of candle on a nearby wall, "Though one of her guards is a little toasty." I said, making three small balls of fire circle around my head slowly.

Celestia raised her eyebrows at the sight of my magic, "My, there is more to you than meets the eye, isn't there?" She chuckled as well, her horn glowing softly as a small, wrapped package floated in front of me, "Here," She said with a smile, "Gifts from myself and Luna, to help you with your job."

I took the package and smiled, "Thank you Celestia, I promise to do as much as I can." I bowed slightly at the waist.

Celestia leaned forward and pressed her forehead against mine, "Do that and do it safely." She straightened up and gave a knowing smile, "I know of two ponies who would be very upset if anything were to happen to you." She giggled a bit as I blushed and retreated to the carriage, smiling and waving goodbye as the pegasi set off and began to bring me to my new home.

The flight in itself was pleasant, if a bit dull, though the landscape passing beneath me looked amazing in and of itself. In the time I had to myself I began to think about the situation between Rarity, Berry, and I. By this point it was impossible to deny that I had feelings for the both of them, despite my earlier protests of how wrong it was. The problem was that I didn't want to hurt their feelings, but I didn't want to have to give either of them up because I did care for each of them. I sighed and shook my head, filing my concerns away for later, picking up the wrapped bundle Celestia had given me. The were two small notes attached to it, one bearing a sun, the other bearing a crescent moon.

I smirked and opened the one marked with a sun, "Dear John," it began, "While only having known you for a short time, I feel like I can trust you with this gift. You are clever, kind, and seem to genuinely care for others. May you be safe as you do your work in the Everfree Forest.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia."

I chuckled softly and put the note in my pocket, then opened up the second one marked with a moon, "Hey John, you seem like a nice, guy, so I decided to give this to you. Let me know how things work out with your new "friends" and come swing by Tech-Tonic again!

Luna."

I sighed softly and shook my head with a smile. Luna was definitely her sister's opposite, but in a good way. Putting the note in my pocket, I pulled the package into my lap, noting its weight. I tore the generic brown paper wrapping off to reveal... two smaller packages inside it. One was wrapped in white paper, the other in black, causing me to raise my eyebrow. The Princesses definitely had a pattern in their designs for just about everything. I shrugged and grabbed the black package, tearing apart the paper eagerly. I lifted the gift and raised my eyebrow as I examined it: It was ten claws made of what looked like obsidian. They slid over my fingers easily, even with my gloves on, then tightened. I panicked slightly and tried to tug them off, but found that they had bound themselves to the gloves. I sighed in frustration, while they were cool, they didn't do much else as far as I could tell. I looked down at the black wrapping paper and saw another note, filled with what I hoped was an explanation and instructions.

"Hey again John,

These claws are made of a special stone that leech away magical energy. I call it Vaccu-Stone, and it should, hopefully, suck out Discord's magic from any of the creatures you encounter as I've tuned it to recognize his magic and his alone. I realize that, while it would be difficult, any and all creatures you could spare would be welcomed. The claws will, hopefully, also augment your fighting, as they are sharp enough to scratch a deep mark in stone.

Be safe,

Luna."

I smiled softly, happy to see that Luna, despite her blunt nature, still cared for the creatures of Equestria. It made me realize the dual nature of the Princess, and it also made me wonder as to what Luna's gift was. With a bit of caution, I grabbed the white bundle and unwrapped it slowly, eyes widening slightly as I saw what she had given me: It was a knife. The guard and everything below it was fairly unremarkable, the design as basic as could be and made of what was likely steel or the Equestrian equivalent of it. What was special about it was the blade, about seven inches long, glowed a soft red, and hummed at a pitch that was just within my range of hearing. I picked up the sheath that came with the knife and put it on, frowning slightly as I looked at the note that fell into my lap.

"Dear John,

I realize this gift may seem... strange to you. However, I need you to realize that the safety of the ponies of Equestria comes first to me. While I abhor the idea, I know from many centuries that some problems eliminated with finality. The knife I've given you is made Vibralloy, a rare metal that constantly vibrates and can cut through almost anything with ease... I know that I am asking much of you by giving you this, but I must ask one more thing: If you have to use this on another living being, make it quick. No creature deserves to suffer, not even those affected by Discord.

Be careful,

Celestia."

My frown had increased as I read through the note, then sighed heavily, tucking it into another pocket. I lifted the knife and pulled it out slightly, looking at the new implement of death I was given. I sheathed it and sighed softly, tucking it my main pocket aka my front left pocket. I looked over the side of the carriage and saw that we were near Ponyville, which alleviated my mood a little. It took a few minutes more to get there, but the pegasi soon landed in front of what I assumed was my new home. It was a quaint little bungalow with a small garden in front and a tree behind it. I smiled and waved goodbye to the guards who were already flying back to Canterlot. I went inside, quickly taking stock of my new domicile. It seems that it had a kitchen, a master bedroom including full bathroom, a den, a study and a guestroom also with full bathroom, all fully furnished. I was more than happy to see that everything was appropriately sized for me, though that was more likely a coincidence. The master bed was huge and, thankfully, firm just as I liked it.

I heard a knock on the front door, which caused me to raise an eyebrow. I stretched out my newly clawed fingers and went up to the door, "Yes?" I asked, opening it slightly.

"Hey, ya gonna let us in or am Ah gonna have tah buck this door down?" Said a familiar country voice.

I smiled and fully opened the door, revealing the Mane 6 in all their glory, "Hey girls," I said with a wide smile, "What brings you here? Actually," I raised my eyebrow in playful curiosity, "How did you know I would even BE here?"

Twilight gestured a hoof towards Pinkie, "Pinkie Sense." She said with a smile.

I chuckled softly, "Of course." I moved aside, "Well, come on inside then!" I said with a smile. They all filed past me, courteously wiping their hooves and each bearing saddlebags filled with what I assumed were housewarming gifts. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Applejack headed towards the kitchen, while Twilight and Rainbow Dash went into the den and settled into a couch, sticking their heads into their bags.

Rarity stepped in front of me and smiled softly, "Hello again John." She got on the tips of her hooves and placed a light kiss on my cheek, "How was your time with the Princesses?" She asked, fluttering her eyelashes.

I blushed lightly and smiled, "I'll tell everyone about it once we're all together, alright?" I smirked and bumped my forehead against hers, just beneath her horn, "For now you can ponder what you would do to my place in matters of décor." I smiled.

She swatted at me playfully, "You know me well John." she said, walking over to Twilight and Rainbow Dash and seating herself opposite of them. I smiled softly and went to the kitchen to try and help out though, in the end, I probably didn't do much except get flour all over my hoodie. After some laughs and a quick pat down to get the flour off of me, we brought the food to the den and placed it on a low table.

I stood and looked at the group as they each grabbed a small something to nosh, "So, I guess y'all want to hear about the meetings I had with Luna and Celestia?" I got six eager nods, "Fine fine, first though," I picked up a match, "Let me light the fireplace, yeah?" I smirked and lit the match, letting the flame idle for a second before I pulled the flame off and had it hover over the palm of my hand. I chuckled softly as everyponys eyes widened at the sight of the fire floating harmlessly in my palm. I increased it's size and made it float around a bit before I had it settle into the fireplace and turn into a comfortably roaring flame.

"H-how did you do that?" Asked Twilight, staring at me with wide eyes.

I pulled out a small, pea sized ball of fire and had it float around, "Magic I guess," I shrugged, "I dunno how it really works. I only just found out about it when a unicorn tried to burn me alive in a bar." I heard six collective gasps and sighed, "Umm, let me explain." I quickly went over what had happened with each of the Princesses, skipping over what had happened in town and the job I was given, going directly to the incident in the club.

"And these are the gifts they gave me." I said, spreading my fingers to show them the claws, "These claws drain a specific type of magic from beings," I pulled out the knife, keeping it sheathed, "And this little trick can cut through nearly anything." I quickly snatched it away as Rainbow Dash tried to grab it. I smirked as she pouted and finished off the last of the morsels that the girls had cooked.

Rarity looked at my claws and the knife with concern, "John, while they are lovely gifts," She looked at me, "What reason could they have to give them to you?" Her face was filled with worry.

Twilight looked upset, "Rarity! I'm sure the Princesses just trust him and think-"

I cut her off, "There is a reason, a good one." I said, putting my hand up, "I want y'all to sit down before I tell you though." My tone was serious and they could all tell as they settled into their seats, "So, the Princesses have hired me to do a job, as Rarity already knows." I nodded to her as I spoke, "That's why I have this house and their blessings, and the promise of fifty thousand bits when I finish the job."

Applejack, with all her common sense, picked up on my message, "It's gonna be a dangerous job, innit?" she asked softly.

I sighed and nodded, "Very," I leaned back and cracked my neck, "They're sending my to the Everfree Forest to reclaim the old castle they used to live in." I closed my eyes, "The area is filled with creatures affected by Discord's magic while the castle itself has a lot of magical items that could do harm if set off by some passing animal." I opened my eyes and held out my hand, stretching out my fingers and claws, "Luna gave me these claws to suck out Discord's magic from any and all animals I can, in order to spare them."

"Spare them?" Asked Rainbow Dash softly.

I nodded and pulled out the knife, its blade humming softly, "Celestia told me that, if all other options are exhausted..." I led into silence, picking up a glass and cutting it in half vertically without a sound.

"No, no," Twilight shook her head, "Why would Celestia tell you to... to... to kill?" She demanded.

I glared at Twilight, "Because it would mean you stay safe!" She recoiled a bit as I snapped at her, "These things are much stronger and fiercer than the normal breed. Imagine if they had the chance to reproduce?" I sheathed the knife and put it in my pocket, "There would be a forest filled with consecutively fiercer, stronger, and more savage animals that would love to have ponies for lunch!" I growled and sighed heavily.

Fluttershy was quiet for the entire conversation, then came up to me, her eyes fixed on mine in her notorious Stare, "John, I understand why you have to do this, I've seen a couple these... affected creatures prowling near the edges," Her Stare grew harder, "If you have to do the deed, how will you do it?"

I met her gaze evenly, "As quickly and with as little pain as possible." I replied evenly.

She Stared for a second longer, then stopped, nodding and nuzzling my chest, "Alright, I don't totally like it, but thank you for being as kind as possible about it." She went back to her seat and picked up her bags, "Anyway, I need to get back to my animals. It's dinner time and they're probably getting hungry." Fluttershy went to the door and waved as she stepped out.

The others looked at me for a second, then smiled as they started up some normal conversation. They asked about my time at the club, earning me an envious glare from Rainbow Dash as I told her about my experience with Vinyl Scratch. Twilight asked me about how my magic worked while I showed off some little fire tricks to Applejack. Rarity was strangely quiet throughout all of this, keeping to herself and giving the smallest responses she needed.

A little while later Twilight got up and stretched, "Alright, I think it's time for all of us to head back home." She gather her bags and left behind a few book, "Here, a housewarming gift." She smiled and turned to the others, "Everyone ready to go?" She asked.

Applejack came out of my kitchen and nodded, "Yep, jus' stockin' the kitchen a bit," She winked at me, "See ya later John."

Rainbow Dash hovered near the ceiling for a moment, coming down to reveal a signed Wonderbolts poster now taped to it, "Now your house is 20% cooler." She swooped down and mussed my hair, "Take care slugger." She said, zipping out the door Twilight held open.

Twilight looked at Rarity who was still seated, "You coming Rarity?" She asked as Applejack sidled outside.

Rarity gave her a weak smile, "No deary, I think I'll stay here a little longer."

Twilight shrugged, "Alright, I'll see you later." Rarity nodded as Twilight stepped outside, then looked at me.

I cocked an eyebrow slightly, "So, you're probably a little upset with me." I said, sitting beside her.

She didn't say anything for a minute, then leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder, "How could you accept such a dangerous job?" She asked softly.

I frowned and ut an arm around her, "At first it was for the pay," I chuckled softly, "But then, I realized that, more than the money, I wanted to protect the ponies who lived nearby." I looked over at her and smiled, "Like you and Berry."

Rarity looked up at me, "Berry? Berry Punch?"

I nodded, "Yep." A knock came from the door, "Huh, excuse me a sec." I said, standing up and heading towards the door. I opened it and smirked, "Speak of the devil." I muttered.

"A little dragon told us about your new place." Said Berry Punch, Pinchy riding on her back, "Mind if I come in?" She asked with a smile while Pinchy waved at me energetically.

I looked at Rarity, then back to Berry, "Yeah, come on in." I said, stepping aside. Berry saw Rarity and vice-versa and a look was exchanged between the two as Berry puled out two bottles of wine.

Meanwhile, Pinchy hopped off Berry's back and nuzzled my leg, "Hey Mr. John!" She said, hopping excitedly, "I heard you got to meet the Princesses! Is that true?" Her eyes were wide and full of excited curiousity.

I chuckled and lifted her up, "Why yes it is!" I said with a smile, "In fact, I got to hang out with each of them for a while!" I walked over to the chair and sat down, setting her on my lap, which was no easy feat since she was the size of a basset hound, but I bore it with a smile.

Pinchy wiggled happily and settled in, "Tell me what you did!" She said, looking up at me. I chuckled and gave her the PG version of my time with Celestia and Luna while Rarity and Berry chatted to each other quietly. After the story I rolled around with Pinchy a bit, playing with her and laughing, soon tiring the poor filly out. With a soft smile I brought her to the guest room and tucked her in, touching her forehead to mine in my usual gesture of affection.

I stepped back into the den, "So." I said, looking at the two mares as they scooted aside to make room for me between them. I grabbed a glass of wine and sat down, taking a long sip before speaking again, "I need to talk to you both." I said, swirling my wine absently.

Rarity's ear perked up a bit, "Whatever about John?" she asked with concern.

I sighed and leaned back, "Well, its about my feelings for the both of you." I began, quickly draining the rest of my wine, "See, I really, really like you both, that much is obvious to me. The thing is that I don't want to have to choose between the two of you."

"Um, John-" Berry began.

"No, Berry, I've gotta say this," I cut her off gently, "I know you probably think I'm terrible, but you're both fantastic mares and I don't want to hurt one of you by choosing the other and-" I was cut off by a pair of hooves on my mouth.

Rarity smiled softly at me, "John, that's sweet, but I don;t mind sharing you with Berry." My eyebrows shot up.

Berry nodded, "Really John, it's fine and not wrong at all." She chuckled softly and poured herself another glass.

I pulled their hooves down, "Not wrong?" I was confused.

Rarity nodded and leaned her head on my shoulder, "Quite normal actually." She said with a smile.

I was more confused, "Um, explain?" I asked.

Berry seemed surprised by my confusion, "Well, I'm sure you've noticed the lack of colts around, so mares have two choices: Learn to share, or turn to each other." She shrugged and smiled, "Is that odd?"

It took me a minute to process this, "Well." I said, "Well. Where I'm from monogamy is all that's socially ALLOWED." I said, smirking, "It's sorta what I've grown used to." I chuckled softly.

Rarity kissed my cheek, "Well, grow used to the both of us John." She said with a smile.

Berry kissed my other cheek, "Exactly. Pinchy warmed up to you and, frankly, so have I." She smiled and put her head on my other shoulder. I smiled softly and put an arm around each of them, sighing with content. We drank some more and chatted, I showed off a few tricks with the fire, then let it die. It wasn't long before the fire was just a pile of embers and we were all comfortably warm.

I stood up and stretched, then turned to the two mares sitting, "Shall we go to bed?" I asked with a smirk. They looked at each other, smiled, then got up and followed me into the master bedroom and into the bed.

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night and went to the kitchen for a drink. I got a glass of water and stretched, various joints popping and cracking as I did do. I heard a small noise and went to investigate, too tired to be cautious.

Pinchy was doing a sleepy stumble out of the guest room, "Hmmm, mizzer John?" She said sleepily.

I smiled softly, "Hey Pinchy, what're you doin up?" I asked, kneeling beside her.

She looking at me with her eyes mostly closed, "I wanna sleep with my momma." She mumbled, leaning against me.

I chuckled softly and lifted her up, "Alright, c'mon." I said softly. She nuzzled my chest as I took her to the bedroom and laid her between Berry and myself, Rarity on my other side. I smiled as I took stock of the three of them, feeling, for the first time since I arrived here, at home.


	8. Elimination

(Hello all, its me, the author! I'd like to say thanks for all the support and reviews. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :3. I'd like to tell you all some stuff about the story: First, it started as a joke, but evolved into this, so yeah. Second, the main character is actually based on me and my reactions. Third, oddly enough, I had started this story with having Vinyl Scratch being my sort of partner, but it evolved into Berrity.)

I woke up and stretched, looking to my sides to see three ponies still asleep, making smile. Pinchy was curled up against Berry who had put a leg over her while Rarity was snoring softly beside me, laying on her side. I scooted back a bit, sitting up against the headboard, sighing contentedly as I took stock of the current situation. I was unwilling to try and get out of bed, since I didn't want to wake anypony, but I also had the massive urge to pee and start my day.

Luckily Berry had decided to wake up at that point, looking at me with a smile, "Mornin' handsome." She yawned.

I chuckled softly, "Hey there." I replied, leaning forward and kissed her gently, "How'd you sleep?" I asked.

She stretched a bit, "Better than I have in years," She said, "It's been a long time since I've shared a bed with someone other than Pinchy." She smiled at me softly and got off the bed, "I wouldn't mind making it a regular thing." She said playfully, looking at me.

I smirked and crawled out, careful not to disturb Rarity or Pinchy, "I wouldn't mind too much either Berry." I said, cracking my back, "Ugh, I'm going to take a shower, wanna help yourself to the kitchen?" I asked, pointing my thumb towards the aforementioned area. She nodded and walked off while I went into the shower, pleased to see that Celestia had even put in some basic soaps, shampoos, and towels. After a quick shower and change of clothes (today featured a lovely dark purple hoodie and black jeans) I got out to see Pinchy starting to stir, so I decided to sit beside her and scratch behind her ears.

She smiled and pushed her head into my hand, little eyes blinking a few times, "Hey Mister John, where's my momma?" She asked, looking around slowly.

I chuckled softly, "Your mom went to the kitchen." I replied, standing up, "Feelin hungry?" I asked, receiving a vigorous nod as a reply, "C'mon, lets see what we have to eat."

"M'kay." She said brightly, hopping down and trotting off towards the kitchen. I smiled and leaned over to Rarity, admiring her sleeping form. Human or pony, when they sleep peacefully, they look amazing.

"Hey," I said softly, nudging her, "Wake up dear, its morning."

Rarity yawned, looking towards me, "Good morning John," She stretched her neck and I took the opportunity to give it a peck, making her giggle, "You know how to make a girl feel special in the morning." She stood and stretched her legs.

I smirked, "Not the first time I've done it." I said with a wink, dodging a playful swat from Rarity.

She was laughing, "You are terrible, you know that?" She nudged me with her flank, "I'll be in the bath, you go on ahead and start some breakfast." She said, trotting off towards the bathroom. I straightened out my sheets a bit and joined Berry and Pinchy in the kitchen, chuckling softly when I saw all of the apple based food and drink that was now stocking the shelves, mentally thank Applejack for her gifts. I grabbed an apple fritter and a glass of water then sat beside Pinchy, who had her face happily buried in a bowl of oatmeal. Berry was puttering about the kitchen, her motherly instincts coming to play as she spooned out a few more bowls of oatmeal for myself, her, and Rarity. We chatted a bit and ate, then Rarity entered, towel on her head and daintily ate her breakfast while Pinchy went off to gather her things.

Full and happy I sighed, "Good stuff Berry." She nodded, "Anyway, what are y'all going to do today?" I asked, leaning on the table.

Rarity, pulled the towel off her head and folded it up, "Well, I need to go back to the Boutique naturally, and talk to Sweetie Belle about a few things." She finished, placing her dishes in the sink, using her magic wash them.

I cocked my eyebrow, "Things?" I asked

She fluttered her eyes, "I'll tell you later deary." She said coyly.

Berry smirked and went over to the sink, "I'll take Pinchy to school, then probably start working myself."

I raised both my eyebrows, "Work? What do you do?" I asked.

Berry chuckled softly as she dried the dishes, "I forgot to mention it, didn't I?" She placed the dishes back into the cabinets, "I'm an official wine reviewer."

I smiled, "The appropiety of your job is astounding."

"You now what they say, play to your strengths." She put away the last of the dishes, "Vineyards send me bottles of their products, I taste them, then review them and send the reviews to a wine magazine that gets published in Canterlot."  
>I whistled, "Damn Berry, that's impressive." Even Rarity looked impressed as Berry took a bow.<p>

"How about you John? What are your plans for today?" Berry asked as Pinchy walked back in.

I cracked my neck and shrugged, "Gotta gather supplies that'll last me about a week."

Pinchy looked up at me with her adorably big eyes, "Are you goin on vacation?" She asked with a smile, "Can I come?" She wiggled with excitement while Berry and Rarity each gave me a look of concern and confusion.

I chuckled softly and ruffled Pinchy's mane, "Nah squirt, I'm getting stuff for work and I'll be out for a week or so." I looked up and saw Rarity and Berry glaring at me, "Hey, Pinchy, how about you head towards school? Your mom will come out soon." She nodded and walked out while I stood up and turned towards the two mares, "Umm, did I do something?"

Rarity huffed, tried to talk, huffed again, then looked at Berry who nodded, "John, while Rarity and I love and respect the fact that you are doing a job for the Princesses, why are you going to be gone for a week?" She finished, snapping at me as Rarity nodded in agreement.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed, "Its not without good reason, believe me." I leaned against the counter, "Alright, so you know what I'm doing. I figure that clearing out the regular monsters will take at least two days, aided by some territory marking and herbal mix that I plan on picking up from Zecora on the way."

Rarity had her hooves crossed, "And the other five days?" Her eyebrow was raised.

I closed my eyes and sighed again, "Those will be dedicated to eliminating the monsters affected by Discord's magic and, uh, handling any remains, along with securing and and all magical items I come across."

Berry had paled a bit, "And how to plan on handling these... remains?" She asked.

My eyes opened and I smiled sadly, "Where I'm from, there is a process we use on our dead called cremation. We burn the bodies and keep the ashes in urns. Naturally I won't keep the ashes, but the fires and scent of burning bodies should scare away any other monsters." I shrugged and held my hands up, "The rest is just stuff I'll have to improvise."

Rarity was swooning a bit while Berry had poured herself a glass of wine, "You really plan on doing all of that John?" Asked Berry, after taking a long slug of wine, "It doesn't bother you at all?"

I shrugged and put a hand on each of their heads, "It bothers me a lot," I knelt down and smiled softly, "However, if it means I can keep ponies safe, especially you girls, then I'd happily do it over and over again." I stood up and slapped each of their flanks with a smirk, "C'mon loves, some of you have young ones waiting on you and I have to get things together so I can get to the castle before nightfall." I chuckled as each of them blushed a bit and followed me out of my house. Pinchy was humming to herself, hopping happily as we walked out, snuggling against Berry's legs. We all said our See You Laters and went our separate ways, Rarity towards the Boutique, Berry and Pinchy towards the school, while I headed towards Sweet Apple Acres. I figured that Applejack would be more than willing to load me with various apple based foods that would last me for a week. Then I was off to the Boutique to pick up the last few sets of clothes I had there, then I would be off.

The walk was nice, naturey background noises along with the sounds of working ponies fading away as I walked towards the Acres. I could see Granny Smith rocking on the porch of the main house while a familiar red dot was tilling a field. I looked around for a second and saw a tree shaking, dropping its fruity bounty, and headed off in that direction. I soon found Applejack, hard at work as per the usual, and explained my situation to her. She was more than happy to give me a bag filled with the necessary supplies, expressing her worry but confidence that I would return. I thanked her and asked her to send my love to the rest of the Apple family, then went on my way back to town. I went to the Boutique and found that Rarity was out, but she had left me my clothes in a neat pile, along with a bigger backpack, similar to a hiking pack, that could easily hold all of my things. I smiled softly and mentally thanked her, transferring all of my gear into the new bag and heading out.

I decided I had everything I was going to need and headed off towards Zecora's house. I was walking down the path when I heard a familiar buzzing.

I turned to see Scootaloo on her trademark scooter coming up behind me. I stopped and allowed her to catch up before I spoke, "Hey there Scoots, what're you doin' here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Is it true that you're going into the Everfree Forest for a whole week?" She asked, looking up at me with big eyes.

I raised my other eyebrow in surprise, "Where did you hear that from?"

"From Spike." She replied, "Rarity told Twilight and Twilight told him and I saw him in town earlier and he told me and I saw you walking up here. So is it true?"

I sighed and smiled softly, "Yeah, I'll be gone for a week or so," I knelt down and ruffled her mane, "But I'll be back just fine, alright?"

"Alllriiight." She didn't sound totally happy or convinced.

I chuckled softly, "Hey, I need you and the Crusaders to do a favor for me, okay?"

Her wings perked up and she smiled eagerly, "Whatcha need?" She asked.

"Since I'll be out, I need some super responsible ponies to watch my house while I'm gone, think y'all will be up to the task?" I asked faking a serious tone.

Scootaloo saluted, "No problem!" She turned and buzzed off, "Cutie Mark Crusader House-sitters yay!" She shouted as she scooted away. I smiled again, chuckling at her innocence, then turned towards the forest and continued my walk.

After a quiet walk I came upon Zecora's hut and knocked on the door. Thankfully she was there and was more than happy to give me a small bag filled with a blueish-purple powder that would keep away most monsters. Zecora also volunteered to show me partway to the castle, since she was about to go out and pick some herbs for her potions. I was glad for the company as I knew the next few days were going to be lonely. We chatted a bit as we walked, mostly about herbs and brews from our respective worlds, though she did ask about my encounter with the Princesses. It was a couple of hours that we walked, just chatting about stuff, Zecora mostly asking about my world and the way we used herbs and medicines, before she had to stop and turn around. She pointed with a hoof and told me that the castle was a little less than two hours walk in that direction, then headed back towards her home.

I sighed, a bit sad, because with Zecora gone, so was any and all communication with anything that didn't want to eat me. I kept walking, silently going over the many situations that could happen, ignoring the tiny section of my brain that was screaming at me for doing this in the first place. It was nearly sunset when I finally came upon the ruins, panting a bit and working up a healthy sweat. I went up to them and found the hall where Twilight and Co. defeated Nightmare Moon and set my bag down, clearing the area of dirt and debris. I then set out and spent the rest of my available daytime gathering firewood, collecting a fairly decent pile by the time the sun had fully set. Using some dried moss as tinder, I quickly had a decent sized fire going, lighting up the hall I was in. I sighed softly and laid my back against my pack, careful not to crush the food and drink I had packed in there. Staring at the fire I realized how long the next week was going to be, as well as how lonely it would be. I sighed softly and used a spare bit of string to tie my fist around Celestia's knife, in case I was set upon when I was asleep, then closed my eyes

Day 1:

I woke up in, what I assumed was, the early morning and untied the string around my fist. I quickly got changed and had a quick breakfast, tucking a bottle of water in one of my pockets and hanging my pack from a higher point to keep any stray animals from getting at it. I then took my knife and claws and began to create a circle around the ruins using the powder Zecora had given me. This took a good couple of hours at least, but I was happy with the result as I heard rustling noises from the bushes nearby that were headed away from the ruins. I went to my fire, added more fuel, then took a softball sized flame and had it float near my shoulder as I explored inside the ruins. I found small nests of various animals, along with a lot of cobwebs, and used my fire to scare away anything alive, then burn away the nests, webs, and various plants that had grown and blocked my path. The plus side to my house-keeping was that my fireball got bigger, about the size of a basketball now, so I was able to split it in two so I could send one ahead of me. I kept up my cleaning for hours, scaring away small animals, easily punching out a few larger animals, like badgers and whatnot.

The exciting part of my day was when I found a manticore sleeping in a small room, surrounded by bones and bodies. It had probably made the room its lair since it was hidden and surrounded by easy prey. I pondered what I could do and sighed heavily, deciding that my only option was to kill the poor thing. I would have tried to just scare it away, but these things were aggressive and, more likely than not, territorial. I pulled out my knife and quietly rolled myself in a small pile of dirt, to disguise my scent, then snuck up to the beast and buried the knife hilt deep into it's skull. It went quietly and I quickly used my fire to burn it to ashes, glad that magic allowed me to increase the heat to a point where the process only took a minute. I left the pile of ashes where they were and went off, repeating the process twice more for a pair of cockatrices that I found nesting together. It was past noon by the time I returned to my camp and tossed more sticks into the fire. I ate again, happy that the food was good at least, then decided to clear out any and all plant life that clung to the ruins. I climbed up a large pile of rubble and gained a decent view of the ruins, my now watermelon sized fireball bobbing beside me. I exhaled slowly and focused, spreading my fire in a long rope, having it fall just within the circle of powder I had left, then drawing it in slowly, dragging it as close to the ground as possible, burning away any plants that clung to the stones.

The rest of my daylight hours consisted of my clearing away any remaining animals and killing any that got burned by my earlier fire trick. In a morbidly satisfying way I was able to eat meat for the first time since I'd gotten to Equestria, courtesy of a pair of rabbits that weren't able to get away in time and had suffered some major burns. I burned the remains in my now massive campfire and settled in to sleep as night settled in, tying my knife into my hand again. I was glad for it, since something resembling a wolf decided to investigate me in the middle of the night. I was woken up by its snuffling and scratching the stones in an attempt to get at my pack, which I had left hanging higher up. It saw me getting up and tried to pounce, but a solid uppercut to its ribs sent it running away. I sighed and went back to bed, grumbling slightly.

Day 2:

The next day was pretty much the same, the only difference being a distinct lack of animals and my "marking my territory" near the circle of powder that I had laid down the day before. When that was all said and done I delved back into the ruins to finish cleaning and to see if I could find any sort of vault that could hold the magical items the Princesses had collected, in order to check and see if anything had gotten in and made off with anything. About two hours, and many fire based cleanings, later I found a large, round, stone door with a large chunk missing. I sighed and figured it was the vault, so I stepped through the hole, letting a fireball hover inside to light my way.

What I found was a large room filled with pedestals, shelves, mounts, various items of a very likely magical nature, and one very large, very angry looking Ursa, major or minor I couldn't tell nor did I care as it was growling at me. I increased the heat of my fireball, making it burn white-hot as I put my back against the wall. There was something wrong with this Ursa, instead of being a translucent blue like they were supposed to be normally, it looking more like a bear outline filled with rolling black smoke. I assumed it was Affected and snarled a bit, cursing myself for being so unprepared. The thing swung a massive paw at me and I rolled out of the way, running up under it's arm, jumping back as its other paw tried to hit me. I tore my fireball in two, causing one half to explode in its face, blinding it. I took advantage of the momentary blindness and plunged the claws on one hand into its chest.

What happened next could only be compared to one of those lightning balls, where you touch it and the "bolts" look like they flow into your fingers? Yeah, it was like that, only it was with darkness and my claws were sucking it up. The Ursa was frozen as I drained out Discord's magic, shrinking in size from that of a bus to the size of a large dog, then proceeded to fall over as the last of Discord's magic was taken out and I pulled my claws away. I poked it and was relieved to see that it was still alive, just unconscious, then proceeded to look around the vault I was in. Aside from a thick layer of dust and a few things being knocked over, everything seemed remarkably well preserved, meaning the Ursa must have been Affected after finding its way into the vault, a fact confirmed by the sight of large claws marks on the inside of the door. I dragged the Ursa out of the vault through the hole I had come in from, then began to inventory the items scattered about. Thankfully, each display had a plaque describing the corresponding item, so I was able to find out where most of the stuff went.

I admired the items as I put them away: Various bits of jewelry, elegant shields, staffs, swords, and something akin to a crossbow. It took a good four hours and everything was, surprisingly, still there. The Ursa that got in must have deterred any other possible treasure hunters, so I wasn't complaining. Once things were cleaned up I went back to my camp and ate, then settled in for my second night, when I noticed the Ursa I had dealt with earlier approaching my camp. I put a hand on my knife, but waited to see what it would do. It slowly came closer, eyeing me up the whole time. It kept coming closer and I pulled my knife out and pulled a ball of fire to float near my shoulder as I tensed myself in preparation for battle. I cocked my eyebrow as it got close with its head low to the ground, a pose of universal submission. It slowly crawled past me and sniffed at my leftovers, then looked at me questioningly. I put my knife away, but kept the fireball at the ready, and nodded. It quickly scarfed down what was left of my dinner and plodded beside me, plopped itself down, and promptly began snoring. I would have probably questioned the entire ordeal, but I was tired and decided to leave it where it lay. However, before I went to sleep, I pulled some more fire and had a ring of it burn around me as a precaution.

Day 3:

I woke up in the morning and found the Ursa still asleep beside me, so I shrugged and pulled out some more food to eat. The smell probably woke it up as it trundled over and started sniffing at my meal. I sighed and gave up half of it, much to its delight, and cursed myself for being weak to animals. With my meal done and pack securely hung I began walking to the circle I had made with powder to, once again, mark my territory. I found myself followed by the Ursa and sighed, ignoring the lumbering beast as I did my thing. I stepped over the powder circle, took some fire I had grabbed earlier and shaped it into a long, white hot rod, then proceeded to use it to cut through the trees surrounding the castle. The Ursa tagged along, staying a few yards away as I did my work, head tilted as he sniffed the charred stumps I left behind.

I heard a low growl from the Ursa and turned, ready to defend myself, but it was facing towards the forest, crouched in an attack position. I ran to it's side and saw a small group of what was a small group of badger sized things covered in large purple scales running back into the forest. I turned the rod back into a fireball and had it hover as I scratched the Ursa's neck with a smile. I figured keeping it around wouldn't be such a bad thing, plus it was nice to have the company. I spent the next hour or two hunting for food, since my new companion would most likely cut into my supplies. My efforts were rewarded with several fat birds and a large rabbit, which I dressed and cooked, though I only at one of the birds, leaving the rest to the Ursa who was more than happy to devour the pile, leaving nothing but a few oily spots on the ground, even going as far as to eat the leftover bones of my meal. I chuckled softly and went back to clearing the trees, hoping that the felled trunks would provide a sort of barrier from anything that might have wanted to come and investigate the ruins.

Hours later, I was rewarded with, what could roughly be called, a wall around the ruins. The Ursa had fallen asleep a while ago, not sensing danger and probably bored as hell watching me cut through trees for hours on end. I nudged it awake and had it follow me back to the main camp, where it promptly plopped itself down and fell asleep again. I had a small meal and scratched the Ursa's head, then leaned my back against it's side and fell asleep to its soft, growling snore.

I woke up abruptly as the back of my head cracked against the stone. I shouted in pain and turned to see the Ursa growling loudly as a small group maybe seven of the things I'd seen earlier approached us. I stood up immediately, punching one of the things away as it leaped towards me. These things were obviously Affected, since they were actually badgers, but they had larger claws, were covered in large purple scales, and were, most likely, incredibly aggressive since they had approached me and the Ursa without hesitation. I was quick to use some of the little fire that was remaining to burn a few of their snouts as they got closer, then dove in with my claws, easily piercing their scales and jabbing them into the beasts' backs. The process of draining away Discord's magic was quick, as I could see the scales shrinking away along with their claws. Unfortunately it wasn't quick enough, as one of the things got up behind me and clawed my back, leaving a long cut across it. I snarled and tore one set of claws out of one beast and stabbed them into the eyes of the one that had attacked me, quickly ending its life. The Ursa was dealing with the other four, one under its paws as the other three looked for an opening. I jumped in and dealt with two of them, stabbing my claws into their legs as they each tried to swipe at me, though I suffered some scratches on my arms in the process. I quickly turned and found that the Ursa had killed one of the creatures and was crouched in front of the other two which has backed into the wall. I used some fire, increased its temperature, and made a wall surround the two creatures that were left. The curled up, armadillo style, as the flames surrounded them and I made quick work of them, jabbing the tips of my claws into the spaces between their scales, draining the chaotic magic from their bodies.

When all was said and done, five of the seven creatures survived, turning back into some sort of badger/mole/rabbit...things. I sighed, shook my head, and groaned softly as the pain from my injuries settled in. I walked over to my bag and rifled through it, hoping to find a hoodie I didn't mind tearing into pieces to make bandages from, instead finding a first aid kit tucked inside. I smiled softly as I opened it and saw a note inside, "Stay safe! - Fluttershy." I quietly thanked the pegasus as I disinfected and bandaged my wounds. The Ursa was nudging the dead bodies with its nose, not taking a bite. That was probably for the best, since it was likely that their veins were filled acid, or chocolate milk, or something equally horrible.

Having cleaned and bound my wounds, I grabbed one of the bodies and threw it onto the fire, magically increasing its intensity so that the corpse would burn faster. I threw the other body onto the pyre and sighed heavily, sitting down and rubbing my sore neck as the ache of battle began to settle in. I settled against my pack and pulled up the collar of my shirt over my nose to try and block out the stink of burning flesh, then closed my eyes and began to doze off as the Ursa settled beside me and huffed softly.

Days 4-6:

The next few days were pretty quiet, the only big thing being an Affected manticore prowling around while I was exploring the ruins. I was able to take it down by dropping on top of it and draining Discord's magic from inside it. After it had left I was back to cleaning out the small animals who had decided to make their home inside the old castle. In my cleaning endeavors, I found that much of the castle interior was uninhabited, if run down by time. A whole millennium can do a number on a building, magical or otherwise.

The sixth night was interesting as a pair of affected wolves attacked, working perfectly in synch with each other, like mirror images. I found it ironic that chaos magic lead to such perfect synch, though it worked towards my benefit as they became predictable. The Ursa helped as well, keeping the wolves on their toes and backing them into a corner, making it easy for me to burn the two of them into piles of ash. Unfortunately, I had suffered a large bite to each of my shoulders, while I was able to clean them, I was concerned because their teeth went pretty deep. I decided to stop at Zecora's the next day to have her look at my wounds. Once all was said and done, I went to sleep, after feeding the Ursa a few rabbits I had hunted down earlier.

Day 7:

I was glad to know it was the last day I had planned to stay, packing my up my gear, eager to return to Berry and Rarity. With a small smirk I shrugged my pack onto my shoulders, hissing softly as it landed on my wounds. I did one final patrol around the grounds, marking the edge of the territory and checking the "fortifications" for any damage. When all was said and done, it was about noon and I decided it was time to get going, walking in the direction of Zecora's hut. I heard a slight whimpering and turned, cocking my eyebrow at the Ursa as it looked at me with big pathetic eyes. I sighed and gestured for it to follow, chuckling softly as it bounded up to my side and walked beside me. The walk was quiet, peaceful, and incredibly boring, though it was made better when it didn't mind me laying my pack over its back. It was easily around six o'clock by the time I arrived at Zecora's and I was tired, sore, and thirsty. I knocked on the door and sighed heavily, leaning against the tree that made up her home.

She answered the door and smiled as she saw me, "Well, well, I'm glad to see you did not meet your end," She looked at the Ursa as it drank water from a small puddle nearby, "Though I have to ask: Who is your friend?"

I chuckled softly, "I'll explain it to you in a bit, but first," I took off my shirt and hoodie, "Could you take a look at these wounds? I want to make sure they don't get infected." I winced a bit as I took my clothes off and the skin stretched.

Zecora nodded and stepped aside so I could enter, "Of course, I do not mind. While I treat you, perhaps I could hear your story, so we may pass the time?" She went around and started grabbing various bottles and powders as I stepped inside and sat down. I reported what had happened over the past few days as she took of my bandages and lathered some earthy herbal stuff over my wounds. Her hooves paused as I told her about my killing, but quickly resumed rubbing the medicine into my wounds.

"Then I came here," I said with a smile as she wrapped a bandage around my upper torso, "To have you look at my wounds," I smiled playfully, "And so I could get another look at you." I chuckled as she swatted the back of my head with a hoof.

"Your wounds are clean, though your mind is not." She smirked and pulled the bandages tight, "You seem to like flirting quite a lot."

I chuckled softly, "Nah, most of the time it's not on purpose." I winked, "Though sometimes it's for fun." I ducked as she tried to smack me again, laughing.

She shook her head and poured some what I assumed was tea into a wooden cup, "My John, you are quite strange," She handed me the cup and smiled, "Though "fun times" I could arrange."

I spit out the tea I had just sipped and coughed, "Wh-what?" Zecora laughed as I spluttered and wiped the mess off myself, "Geez, give me a heart attack yeah?" I sighed and took a proper swig, "I mean, it's not that I'm not for the idea, but I'd like to get to know you first..." I mumbled.

It was Zecora's turn to look surprised, "You'd accept an offer so bold? I must say, when it came to such matters, I imagined you would be rather cold."

I shrugged and stared at my cup of tea with a smirk, "I guess, now that the shock has worn off, I wouldn't exactly object to the idea." I chuckled softly, "Only thing I worry about is being compared to your average stallion." I laughed and stood up, pulling my clothes on and walking towards the door, "Thanks Zecora. Maybe, if you want to follow through on that offer, you could swing by my place in Ponyville?" I smiled, "If not, then do visit sometime, it'd be welcome." I chuckled at her blushing face and stepped outside, nudging my ursine companion awake and walking back towards town.

It was a long walk, made longer by my anticipation. As I entered town I saw a few ponies run at the sight of my new friend, while others shrugged it off and went about their business. I just kept walking, ignoring the looks I received, rather used to the sensation. I passed by the library and saw Twilight through a window, sorting books with her magic and talking to Spike, who was taking down notes. I kept walking, passing by Sugarcube Corner and waving to Mrs. Cake when we made eye contact, chuckling softly when she jumped at the sight of my Ursa.

I rounded a corner and saw my house, bringing a soft smile to my face. The Crusaders and Pinchy were zipping down the street, most likely on their way to another cutie mark related endeavor. I shook my head and laughed softly, going up to my door and opening it.

"He said it would only be seven days, so I expect he should be here soon." Said Rarity from the kitchen.

"I hope so, I can't wait to break the news to him." Replied Berry, also in the kitchen.

I smiled and knocked on the door frame, causing the two of them to look around the corner, squeal and run up to me. I laughed and opened my arms, pulling the two of them close, "Hey there girls."

"I'm home."

(Well, that was fun. Sorry it took so long, but this was a long chapter, and the holidays didn't help at all. Anyway, I'm happy y'all enjoyed my story, and I love the reviews you left, as I welcome any and all of them. On another note, this may or may not be the last chapter of the story since this arc is now over. However, I will leave it to you, the readers, to decide. I have the ability to write more, but I want to know that you all want another story arc. SO, write a review, send me an email, chuck a rock with a note on it through my window, just let me know what you want and I will do my best to provide.

-John a.k.a. Exanora)


	9. Author's Note

*drags self out from under pile of responses* FREEDOM!

Damn! Alright, based on the metric assload of responses, I guess I'm going to be making another story arc! Thanks y'all for your reviews and responses and knowo that I will consider any and all ideas you all have and want to see in my next story

Look out for the next chapter in my story, "Oddjobs in Equestria."


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